CHANGE OF PLANS

As I sat here pondering whether to do the header about Bent Penis still dating while the presstitutes give the grifters a complete pass or the liberal judge who just issued a TRO preventing the latest PP atrocities caught on tape from being published, I came across something on UK Telegraph that was too funny to pass up. There’s only so much depression I can tolerate at one time.I usually save the fun stuff until Friday, but, dammit, I just feel like it.

Shoplifters will be prostituted: Hilarious pictures show the importance of using correct grammar and punctuation
Bad spelling and punctuation can make or break a message
A missing colon or comma can turn a simple order into a sinister message
FEMAIL looks at some of the funniest spelling and punctuation slip-ups

And now that everybody owns a camera phone, the often amusing incidents can be recorded forever.

Read on to discover some of the funniest slip-ups that resulted from incorrect spelling and punctuation.

IS THERE A DISABLED ELDERLY PREGNANT CHILD IN THE HOUSE?

THE NEW OBAMACARE STANDARDS

THE JOBS IN THIS OFFICE HAVE SOME UNIQUE PERKS

funny-you-had-one-job-country-chipolte

funny-you-had-one-job-school

tumblr_n32re6bvoC1rgzhe0o1_500

funny-you-had-one-job-best-for-baby

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3179736/Shoplifters-prostituted-Hilarious-pictures-importance-using-correct-grammar-punctuation.html#ixzz3hOoSiu13

I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW TO SEE WHAT COMES UP.

22 Comments

Filed under Funny Stuff

22 responses to “CHANGE OF PLANS

  1. Pistol Pete

    Author Ronald Kessler On Bill Clinton: ‘He Has A Blonde, Busty Mistress’
    IF ANY OF THIS SURPRISES YOU,YOU’VE NOT BEEN PAYING ATTENTION

    He has a blonde, busty mistress, and she’s been code named Energizer by agents. This is unofficially, but that is what they call her…She comes in to the Chappaqua [NY] home whenever Hillary leaves. The details coordinate to make sure they don’t cross paths. She, unlike Hillary, is very nice to the agents. She’ll bring cookies.”

    Kessler also contends the Clinton’s relationship is only based on their desire to return to the White House in 2016.

    “Agents say that it’s a business relationship. It’s not a marriage at all. It’s a total fake, like everything else about Hillary. It’s just a big show and a scam.”

    And the agents assigned to Hillary’s detail, says Kessler, don’t usually look forward to the assignment.
    Hillary Clinton pretends to be this champion of the little people — she’s gonna help the middle class, she’s compassionate. But the reality behind the scenes is she treats her agents and others less powerful than she is with contempt. In fact she’s so abusive to her agents that being assigned to her detail is considered a form of punishment,” he said. “That tells you something about her character.”

    FORMER SECRET SERVICE SUPERVISOR GARY ALDRICH WROTE “UNLIMITED ACCESS” IN 1994 DETAILING WHAT A COLD-BLOODED,FOUL-MOUTHED BITCH SHE REALLY IS.
    http://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2015/07/29/author-on-bill-clinton-he-has-a-blonde-busty-mistress/

    THE MORE THINGS CHANGE THE MORE THEY REMAIN THE SAME

    Y’ALL FIND SOMEBODY WHO CARES
    Reporters and politicos covered-up Bill Clinton’s ongoing affair in 2008 as Hillary competed with Barack Obama for the Democratic Party’s presidential nomination.
    In (2015) because of the media’s protective non-reporting we do not know whether Bill Clinton carried on his affair throughout his wife’s term as secretary of State, whether the national security implications of the affair were raised during her confirmation and whether Bill Clinton has yet learned to not sexually assault women
    A LEOPARD DOES NOT CHANGE HIS SPOTS.THE MAN IS A RAPIST AND A SEXUAL BATTERER AND GETS A TOTAL PASS.
    http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2015/07/flashback-reporters-covered-up-bill-clinton-affair-during-hillarys-2008-presidential-campaign/

    Like

  2. Pistol Pete

    THE MEDIA WILL DO ANYTHING TO STOP THE DONALD;INCLUDING REPORTING THAT HIS EX-WIFE CLAIMED THAT HE RAPED HER
    DIDN’T WORK:
    Ivana Trump REJECTS rape allegations, says Donald Trump ‘would make an incredible president’

    Just a day after allegations reemerged that Donald Trump raped his ex-wife, Ivana Trump, the bombastic billionaire’s former spouse played down the controversy, saying that the two are still “the best of friends.”

    “I have recently read some comments attributed to me from nearly 30 years ago at a time of very high tension during my divorce from Donald. The story is totally without merit,” Ivana Trump told CNN, referring to a Daily Beast report published Monday night in which Michael Cohen, a lawyer for the Republican candidate, defended his boss from a decades-old allegation that he once forced himself on his ex-wife.

    “Donald and I are the best of friends and together have raised three children that we love and are very proud of. I have nothing but fondness for Donald and wish him the best of luck on his campaign,” she said.

    http://therightscoop.com/ivana-trump-rejects-rape-allegations-says-donald-trump-would-make-an-incredible-president/#ixzz3hP04AUQ2

    THIS HEADLINE IS FROM THE LEFTIST RAG THE GUARDIAN
    Donald Trump’s lawyer threatens reporter over ex-wife’s allegations: ‘You cannot rape your spouse’

    Campaign spokesman and attorney responds to resurfaced assertions of Ivana Trump ‘rape’ with vulgar tirade that political watcher says could undermine lead
    http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/jul/28/donald-trump-lawyer-threatens-reporter

    NEXT CAME THE ALLEGATION THAT HE CHASTISED A SMARTASSED WOMAN LAWYER FOR USING A BREAST PUMP DURING A DEPOSITION IN 2011.
    THERE’S NO RECORD OF IT,JUST ALLEGATIONS.BUT THAT DOESN’T REALLY MATTER,DOES IT?

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  3. It could undermine his lead? Are they nuts?!? I read that quote and doubled down on my support for Tony Soprano and his no-BS campaign!

    I don’t even remember what it feels like to have someone who’s not a pussy in the White House.

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    • Pistol Pete

      Bubba Klintoon!Oh,wait…did you say WAS a pussy,or GOT some pussy.Oops.My bad.
      I sure like having you around,KK,you’re as snarky as I am.

      Like

  4. Pistol Pete

    4th Video Catches Planned Parenthood VP Discussing How to Break the Law to Sell Aborted Babies

    New undercover footage shows Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains’ Vice President and Medical Director, Dr. Savita Ginde, negotiating a fetal body parts deal, agreeing multiple times to illicit pricing per body part harvested, and suggesting ways to avoid legal consequences.
    http://www.lifenews.com/2015/07/30/4th-video-catches-planned-parenthood-vp-discussing-how-to-break-the-law-to-sell-aborted-babies/

    Of Course: Court Orders Pro-Life Group To Stop Releasing Videos That Make Planned Parenthood Look Bad

    WHERE ELSE BUT CALIFORNICATE?
    The Los Angeles Superior Court order issued Tuesday prohibits the Center for Medical Progress from releasing any video of three high-ranking StemExpress officials taken at a restaurant in May. It appears to be the first legal action prohibiting the release of a video from the organization.
    http://townhall.com/tipsheet/katiepavlich/2015/07/30/of-course-judge-orders-center-for-american-progress-to-stop-releasing-videos-that-make-planned-parenthood-look-bad-n2032370
    IT’S HARD TO SEE THROUGH THE TEARS AS I TYPE THIS
    “Sometimes, if we get, if someone delivers before we are able to see them for a procedure the we are intact,” Ginde is shown saying.

    The video also shows abortionists pointing out “another boy!” has been extracted and celebrating intact baby parts as “five stars!”

    “I just want to see one leg and one foot,” an abortionist in a lab is seen saying. “It’s a baby…here’s the heart…do people want to do stuff with eyeballs?”

    Warning, this video is graphic:

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  5. Pistol Pete

    Planned Parenthood spends $12 million to re-elect Obama
    THEIR INVESTMENT IS PAYING GRISLY DIVIDENDS

    Fri Oct 26, 2012 – 11:54 am EST
    Hey, America, do you know what you’re funding when your taxes go to “women’s health” via Planned Parenthood? You think I’m going to say abortion, don’t you? I don’t actually need to say that since you’d have to be brain dead not to know that part. But how about to Barack Obama’s re-election? Wait, you say! Not us! We give my money to Planned Parenthood because women’s health is important. Our tax dollars should support this crucial organization.

    Government grants and funding to Planned Parenthood in the last reported year, 2009-2010, was $487.4 million — and so far $12 million from the non-profit has been given to re-elect President Obama. That’s right. This organization that says it cares so much about your cervix cares more about it’s proverbial booty.
    https://www.lifesitenews.com/opinion/planned-parenthood-spends-12-million-to-re-elect-obama

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  6. Pistol Pete

    THE MAGIC NEGRO LOVES TO DISH IT OUT,BUT HE CAN’T TAKE A SMIDGEN

    Like

  7. Pistol Pete

    Obama Campaign Volunteer and Donor to Anchor CBS Evening News
    NO MEDIA BIAS HERE,NOPE,NOPE,NOPE

    “CBS News contributor Jane Pauley will fill in for Scott Pelley on tonight’s CBS Evening News,” TV Newser reported Wednesday afternoon.” Brian Flood noted “Pauley has previously filled in as a co-host on CBS This Morning, but this is her first time anchoring the Evening News.
    In a 2008 interview with WISH-TV in Indianapolis, Indiana, about her campaigning for Barack Obama, she declared: “I want to see the cool, steady hand of Barack Obama on that Bible on Inauguration Day.” She also gushed: “Not only could Barack Obama be a good President, he’d be an exceptional one. And I so look forward to it.”
    http://newsbusters.org/blogs/nb/brent-baker/2015/07/29/obama-campaign-volunteer-and-donor-anchor-cbs-evening-news#sthash.iXJOOBAp.dpuf

    Like

    • I just don’t get their love for the guy. Is it because he thinks Jane makes too much money? Or because he killed more Afghani women and children in his first eight months in office than Bush did in two terms? Or because he sanctions sodomy and dramatically cut AIDS funding for Africa? Or stonewalls the press? Or lies about, well, everything? (Google Obama lies, we’re over a thousand)

      I keep trying to see exactly what about this MoFo is sooo damn alluring to these bicoastal Illuminati?!? I voted for Gore, I voted for Kerry, and I just don’t see it.

      Like

  8. Pistol Pete

    Judge: I Will Hold IRS Commissioner In Contempt
    KOSKINEN:BWAHAHA!I’M UNDER THE PROTECTION OF THE PRESIDENT,SO YOU CAN JUST SUCK IT!

    “I will haul into court the IRS Commissioner to hold him personally into contempt,” U.S. District Court Judge Emmett Sullivan said Wednesday in a hearing related to the nonprofit group Judicial Watch’s lawsuit against the IRS for Lerner’s emails.

    Sullivan issued an order July 1 requiring the IRS and its legal representatives at the Department of Justice to brief his court with “status reports” on the search for Lerner’s emails. Though the IRS recently found more emails, the agency did not give Sullivan a status report.

    http://dailycaller.com/2015/07/29/judge-i-will-hold-irs-commissioner-in-contempt/#ixzz3hPHGjPOR

    Like

  9. Pistol Pete

    Audit finds 22 of 23 taxpayer-backed ObamaCare co-ops lost money in 2014
    WHAT DO THEY CARE?IT’S NOT THEIR MONEY

    Under President Barack Obama’s overhaul, taxpayers provided $2.4 billion in loans to get the co-ops going, but only one out of 23 — the one in Maine — made money last year, said the report out Thursday. Another one, the Iowa/Nebraska co-op, was shut down by regulators over financial concerns.

    The audit by the Health and Human Services inspector general’s office also found that 13 of the 23 lagged far behind their 2014 enrollment projections
    http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2015/07/30/audit-finds-22-23-taxpayer-backed-obamacare-co-ops-lost-money-in-2014/

    Like

  10. Pistol Pete

    Trump focus group is so STUNNING to Morning Joe panel they play it TWICE in a half hour

    Morning Joe panel SHOCKED at new poll showing Trump defeating JEB and Rubio in their HOME STATE
    HOWARD DEAN IS STILL A BRAYING JACKASS

    Like

  11. Pistol Pete

    Bill Clinton Tells Jeb Bush, “This Trump Thing Will Be Taken Care Of.”
    I’LL MAKE HIM AN OFFER HE CAN’T REFUSE

    It’s said that Hillary Clinton wants nothing to do with Donald Trump. To most they just call him a clown, but privately they’re afraid of him. The Clinton team doesn’t fear Jeb Bush because they know what they are up against and that lack of fear is mutual among the Bush operation as well. They both run in similar circles politically and financially, so it’s a choice of shades of the same color and that’s how they want to keep it.”
    Those concerns were said to be given some salve in the form of assurances from Bill Clinton during a personal call he had with Jeb Bush two days earlier. While most of that conversation remains private, Jeb did share with others that the former president reminded the would-be presidential hopeful that, “a lot of this Trump thing will be taken care of during your debates, if not sooner.”
    http://dcwhispers.com/bill-clinton-tells-jeb-bush-this-trump-thing-will-be-taken-care-of/

    Like

  12. Pistol Pete

    Boehner quashes revolt
    I RUN THE SHOW,SEE?I NEVER MET A DEMOCRAT ASS THAT DIDN’T TASTE GOOD,BUT I DON’T TAKE NO CRAP FROM YOU CONSERVATIVES

    House Speaker John Boehner will not allow a floor vote on a resolution to oust him from his post, he announced Wednesday.

    “Frankly, it isn’t even deserving of a vote,” Boehner said of the resolution, which was introduced late Tuesday by Rep. Mark Meadows, R-N.C.

    His resolution to oust Boehner, however, does not seem to have garnered enthusiasm among Republicans and will likely linger in the House Rules Committee, which operates as an arm of the speaker. There, it will likely die without consideration.
    http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/boehner-quashes-revolt/article/2569213

    Chamber Plan to Oust Conservatives Will Stir the Base
    The U.S. Chamber of Commerce is threatening to run primary challenges against incumbent conservative members of the House of Representatives.

    The Chamber has had it with conservatives mucking up their agenda on issues like immigration reform, the Export-Import Bank reauthorization, and highway spending, as Politico reported. The group is ready to start picking off troublemakers.
    http://www.whitehousedossier.com/2015/07/29/chamber-plan-oust-conservatives-stir-base/

    Like

    • chrissythehyphenated

      I’d love to see our side dig up the dirt the Left uses to keep Boehner tame, then release it and neutralize him.

      Like

  13. Pistol Pete

    PROGRESSIVISM: EMPIRE OF LIES

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  14. Pistol Pete

    Not sure what I’m going to do tomorrow.I’ll probably come up with something

    Like