It’s that time of the week that everyone who still works anticipates…..Friday! Get your paycheck,look at your bills and realize you worked the whole week for somebody else. Such is the price we pay for living in what at one time was the greatest country on earth.
OK,I started to wax political and I promised myself I wouldn’t. What I WILL do is post some of the laugh-out-loud funniest stuff I’ve been saving.
HEY,BoB:
you’ve no idea how difficult it was to pick these few
Filed under Funny Stuff
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polination.blog 
GRUNT NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE
More Groups Demand Sacred Status for Their Prophets, Idols and Mascots
by Grunt of Monte Cristo
In the aftermath of these events, which show a shocking willingness among Americans to be buffaloed into limits on their own everyday behavior based on the demands of a pseudo-religious, mostly outlaw political system, a number of groups have come forward to demand that their own icons be treated with similar respect by all people, or possibly suffer consequences. The following graphic illustrates six of the most prominent.
http://suckersonparade.blogspot.com/2015/01/more-groups-demand-sacred-status-for.html#.VMviGizwsdU
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You’re too kind, Pete. I’m just amazed that she keeps publishing my goofy stuff. Thanks for the echo!
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This piggy is not so little! Hunters capture hog weighing nearly 800 POUNDS in Texas
Blaine Garcia and Wyatt Walton captured a 790 pound feral hog earlier this month with the help of two bulldogs
The hog, nicknamed ‘Boarzilla’, is currently receiving around the clock care at a temporary home called cattle coral before its fate is decided
QUICK!WHERE’S MICHAEL MOORE??
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2931648/Hunters-capture-hog-weighing-nearly-800-POUNDS-Texas.html#ixzz3QKwkdKed
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Whoa. They caught that ALIVE???
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I’d rather wrestle an alligator!
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Police: Patron Relieved Himself Onto Waitress
Man, 20, nabbed for peeing from Key West balcony
Waitress Tia Cruz, 26, told police that she was talking with a customer when she “began feeling something wet on her body.” Cruz initially thought it was raining, police noted, until a fellow employee “pointed out Jones and said he is peeing on you,” according to a police report.
Couldn’t he have just filled out a comment card,or something?
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/drunk/key-west-urinator-busted-896731
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Seconds After He Said “We’ve Got 3 Kids Inside!” This Hero Fireman Did The Unbelievable
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Oh my goodness … look at those RAAAAAAAAAAACIST white fire fighters. /sarc … Sorry, but I just listened to our racist black president dissing cops AGAIN, so it was on my mind when I saw that the kids were black.
You know what else is refreshing besides watching real heroes at work? Watching Major Crimes. We recently watched an episode where some guys tried to play the race card and the black Chief of Police totally shot them down. It was beautiful.
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German Court Upholds Men’s Right To Stand Up While Urinating
A German court ruled in favor of mens’ right to pee standing up on Thursday, after a landlord tried to retain part of a tenant’s 3,000 euro deposit for allegedly damaging the marble floor of a toilet by sprinkling it with urine.
I’d bet good money this is a common complaint amongst women.
http://weaselzippers.us/212000-german-court-upholds-mens-right-to-stand-up-while-urinating/
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No, You Should Never Brag On Facebook About Your 16 Outstanding Arrest Warrants
A Texas man who bragged on Facebook about having 16 outstanding arrest warrants was busted after a tipster called cops to report the ill-advised online boasting.
You just can’t fix stupid
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/facebook/facebook-arrest-warrant-boast-908562
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Every Shark Turned Him Down Until One Gave This Farmer A Fighting Chance
This man is our new hero. A second generation farmer-turned-inventor, Johnny Georges from Arcardia, Florida went before the five billionaire investors on Shark Tank asking for a $150,000 investment for 20% of his company. What was he representing? A brand new way to irrigate trees that would save local farmers lots of money in fuel and water and would be good for the water conservation effort.
Though it seemed like Georges had a bit of a rough start in his presentation, how he ends his pitch to the Sharks is what blew us away and earned him what we think is one of the best moments of Shark Tank history. Be sure to watch up through the last 30 seconds so you don’t miss any of the touching and inspiring moment.
Nobody owes you nothing, life is what you make it. He [Dad] taught me that.” -Johnny Georges
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Wow …. I need a tissue!
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GWYNETH PALTROW STEAM CLEANS HER VAGINA FOR ENERGY
Aren’t you glad you stopped here today?
http://www.breitbart.com/big-hollywood/2015/01/29/gwyneth-paltrow-steam-cleans-her-vagina-for-energy/
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For $50, even you guys can get your veejays steam cleaned!
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Deputies: Man was acting out lyrics before fatal Merritt Island shooting
Douglas Winslow, 17, killed
According to the Brevard County Sheriff’s Office, 22-year-old Rodney Patrick was acting out the lyrics of a Waka Flocka Flame song when he picked up a gun he thought was unloaded and fired it.
Hey,Mom-I’m in a rap group called Waka Flocka Flame!
that’s nice,dear
Patrick is also charged with tampering with evidence and possession of a controlled substance.
He faces 25 years to life if convicted.
http://www.wesh.com/news/deputies-investigating-persons-death-at-merritt-island-home/30941534
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When The Temp Was Hotter Than Hell This Weatherman Rolled With The Punches, So Funny!
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ROFLLL!!!!
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Now that’s funny!
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Seattle Pot Producer Rolling Out 12,000 Joints Ahead of Super Bowl Sunday
A Seattle-based medical marijuana retailer is anticipating Seahawks fans will want a “super bowl” for Sunday’s big game. That’s why employees at Solstice are working to roll a staggering number of joints — 12,000 in all — for its special “12th Pack” promotion ahead of Sunday, when the Seahawks face the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLIX. That works out to roughly 180 to 220 joints made during an eight-hour shift — double the normal pace, NBC affiliate KING5 reported. “It’s not like I go home with cramps or anything,” a smiling employee, Katy Filippone, told the station.
http://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/super-bowl-xlix/seattle-pot-producer-rolling-out-12-000-joints-ahead-super-n296041
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Obese felon, 625lb, who claimed he could not go to prison because he was ‘a prisoner in his own home’ sentenced to 18 months – after he was caught driving
Jeffery Klein of Jackson, Michigan, had spent more than two years claiming that his size made him a virtual prisoner in his home
He had admitted calling in a bomb threat in 2012 and a judge had been considering the possibility of home-based punishment for him
Then on New Year’s Day cops pulled over a car with a broken tail-light and found Klein behind the wheel
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2931613/Felon-625lb-claimed-fat-leave-home-sent-prison-busted-wheel-car.html#ixzz3QL6l2yQK
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Big Mistake! Pirates Tried Hijacking A Navy Ship, And Were Met With U.S. Might Instead
A group of Somali pirates were doing what Somali pirates do; attempting to board a ship at night, take it’s crew hostage and then ransom them.
NOTE TO PIRATES:DON’T SCREW WITH THE U.S. NAVY
This is the crew of thieves that tried to jack a ship
This is the ship they went after in the dark one fateful night. The USS Nicholas.
It is a guided missile frigate, a sizable ship that displaced 4,100 tons of water as it moves through the oceans.
The five foolish pirates were no match for the Nicholas and its crew as they were easily captured. Their skiff was sunk, and its mothership was captured in the process
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The only time I ever watched Rachel Maddow … oh my, “boat jail” … really? Is she honestly THAT STUPID?
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Is that a rhetorical question?
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LOL yes, I guess it is.
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Luna smart mattress will turn off lights when you go to sleep, get coffee ready when you’re waking up
Luna’s new device fits around the mattress like a cover, and monitors whether those sleeping on it are asleep. When it senses that they are, it can power down lights or change heating settings. And when it detects that they’re waking back up, it can start brewing coffee or turn the lights back on.
The device is being funded through a campaign on Indiegogo, which promises to “Turn Your Bed into a Smartbed”. It normally costs $249 (£165), but can be bought for $179 through the Indiegogo campaign.
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/news/luna-smart-mattress-will-turn-off-lights-when-you-go-to-sleep-get-coffee-ready-when-youre-waking-up-10010695.html
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Woman who banned Muslims from her gun range says business is booming since she banished them as ‘a matter of public safety’
Jan Morgan banned Muslims from Gun Cave Indoor Firing Range in Hot Springs, Arkansas, last September
She claimed Islam is ‘not a religion’ and shouldn’t be afforded protections under the US Constitution
Five months on Morgan says business is booming and threats of a lawsuits have failed to materialise
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2931121/Woman-banned-Muslims-gun-range-says-business-booming-banished-matter-public-safety.html#ixzz3QLAk3Acf
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judging from the number of hits this video has,you’ve probably seen it already.In case you haven’t you’re missing a hoot.
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LMAO! I hadn’t seen that. Dude’s not bad!
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I don’t understand all this equating of bread bags with poverty. I grew up solidly middle class. It never occurred to me once in my entire life that wearing bread bags to keep my socks dry was anything other than common sense recycling.
http://twitchy.com/2015/01/30/megan-mcardle-slams-libs-who-mock-joni-ernst-and-her-bread-bags/
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Did your mom get you those elastic straps with the clips on them to fasten your mittens to the sleeves of your snowsuit so you wouldn’t lose them?Mine did.
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No, mine just go mad if I lost them. Her mad was terrifying, so I learned very early on to keep track of my mittens.
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Then I guess I was a victim of white privelege,huh?
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Chris Christie’s PAC is http://LeadershipMattersForAmerica.Org — or LMFAO, in acronym form.
For real.
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State Takes Over Arkansas School District That Had To Make Teachers Wear Underwear
Things have gone from bad to worse for the public school system in Little Rock, Ark.
In August 2013, the district announced — to the great dismay of the teachers union — a dress code that would require teachers to wear underwear. Every single day. Female teachers would have to wear bras, too. And the very worst of all: No spandex.
The thought of some of the teachers I had in spandex is…..disturbing
http://news.yahoo.com/state-takes-over-arkansas-school-district-had-teachers-143143692.html
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Cosmo magazine recommends chocolate butt holes for Valentine’s Day.
http://twitchy.com/2015/01/29/how-low-can-you-go-heres-how-cosmos-empowering-women-this-valentines-day-photo/
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Race Matters: When NY Times Columnist Charles Blow ranted about racism, he neglected to mention that the cop who detained his black son was also black.
http://ow.ly/2TYjaY
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That doesn’t count…he was the po-po.
Didn’t cut a brutha some slack,feel me?
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Mrs. Ford would faint if she knew I just wrote that.
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this is funny!
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Excellent! LOLOL
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Danny Trejo and Steve Whatsisname are a riot.
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That’s great work. There’s a “making of” video for this.
Having never seen the Brady Bunch, I had to be told who Jan was. Didn’t recognize the not-Marcia or the not-Jan. Grunt put a name to the guy with the axe. The making-of vid tells me the other guy is Steve Buscemi. iMDB told me I’ve probably seen ’em in something, but I don’t really know either one. But that didn’t detract from being able to appreciate the bit.
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Leftist hack and junior U.S. Senator Cory Booker (D-NJ) is horrified by animal research. But ripping the arms and legs off unborn humans is totes okay.
http://twitchy.com/2015/01/29/partial-birth-abortion-advocate-cory-booker-condemns-horror-of-animal-research/
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To all dog lovers:
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People Of Walmart (Sexy And I Know It – LMFAO)
DON’T HAVE ANYTHING IN YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU WATCH THIS…TRUST ME
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Tiger scores an 82. Worst game of his pro career. Even Obama could have outplayed him at Scottsdale.
http://xfinity.comcast.net/articles/sports-general/20150130/Phoenix.Open-Woods/
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Another mouth-watering meal from Michelle’s School Kitchens! Yum yum eat-em-up, kids!
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That’s about the most unappetizing thing I’ve seen all week.
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bob: “That’s about the most unappetizing thing I’ve seen all week.”
That possum “sleeping” on the road last night looked more edible. At least it was fresh. I suspect the schools are now serving up leftovers from the USSR.
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Yep. Thanks for nothing, Mrs. Obama.
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Lunch Ladies say: Michelle O’s rules driving kids to junk food
EAGnews c/o IOTWreport
Bitter indeed.
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