North Koreans Hack Grunt’s Computer, Leaving it Infected with Viruses & Porn

Denver, Colorado – The primary work computer of PoliNation blogger GruntOfMonteCristo was found yesterday to be yet another victim of the ruthless hacker army of the rogue state of North Korea. Not long after the U.S. State Department confirmed that the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK) was behind the hacking of Sony Corporation’s emails, it became clear that other smaller targets have been likewise hit.

The “Grunt Hack,” as it’s become known, was discovered by Grunt’s secretary, Gruntessa of MonteCristo, during a routine security check on his workstation while he was away on business to the east coast. “God knows what he’s doing down here in this dark basement office when he’s supposed to be working, but even I can’t see how he could have amassed over 350 Gigabytes of soft porn on this workstation,” mused Gruntessa. “And the 1268 viruses, of the kind commonly infecting “vintage warbird nose art” and “1940’s nudie art” websites, … where those came from is just a mystery to me.”

When reached by phone for comment, Grunt responded: “Those Nork bastards! Is nothing sacred to those animals?” He insisted that he had no knowledge of the mostly very tasteful bikini calendar content, but begged that all 350 GB be preserved until he returned in order to sort through it and look “for clues” to the identities of the hackers.
Ripped off inspired by this Duffel Blog satire piece.