From The Babylon Bee.
Everybody’s talking about it. Here’s what you need to know.
1.) President Trump on Wednesday rescinded an Obama administration order to all public schools which stated that, in order to comply with federal law, all school policies must be based on “gender identity” and not biological sex.
2.) The overturned Obama order directed schools to thoroughly prove students’ gender identity before allowing them access to the opposite sex’s bathrooms and locker rooms by just asking them if that’s how they really feel.
3.) The overturned Obama order also confirmed that no high school boy would ever pretend to identify as a female in order to be able to shower with naked girls.
4.) The overturned Obama order also mandated large litter boxes be available for students identifying as otherkin.
5.) The overturned Obama order also declared that any father who would be upset about his daughter being forced to share a bathroom and locker room with a biological male is a terrible, disgusting, pig-faced equivalent of a KKK member circa 1960.
6.) By rescinding the order, President Trump has delivered a significant setback for humanity, sending us back to the Dark Ages of pre-May 2016.
7.) In his statement rescinding the order, President Trump specifically encouraged discriminating against, bullying, and harassing all members of the transgender community, as vigorously and often as possible.
8.) Trump titled his statement I Obviously Hate People With Gender Dysphoria Because I Am Asking Everyone To Use The Restroom Of Their Biological Sex Like Everyone Has Done Since The Beginning Of Time.
9.) Critics of Trump’s move cite a desire to protect transgender students from feeling uncomfortable because they have to share facilities with members of what they perceive as the opposite sex, while also having an easy way to identify intolerant bigots (non-transgender students who feel uncomfortable sharing facilities with members of the opposite sex).
More stories of questionable veracity from the Babylon Bee:
Local Believer Shows No Evidence Of Salvation Before Morning Coffee
Church Introduces New Maximum Security Nursery
New Registry Allows Engaged Same-Sex Couples to Choose Which Christian Florist to Put Out of Business