Category Archives: Taxes

Forget the deductions; take the kids

(This letter to the IRS was written by Bob Mullen and first appeared in the book Chicken Soup for the Parent’s Soul.)

Dear sirs:

I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three dependents I claimed on my Federal Tax return. All I have to say is, thank you. I have questioned whether or not these are my children for years. They are evil and expensive. It’s only fair, since they are minors and no longer my responsibility, that the government should know something about them and what to expect over the next year. Please do not try to reassign them to me next year and reinstate the deduction. They are yours!

The oldest, Kristen, is now 17. She is brilliant. Ask her! I suggest you put her to work in your office where she can answer people’s questions about their returns. While she has no formal training, it has not seemed to hamper her from believing she knows everything, so taxes should be a breeze. Next year she is going to college. I think it’s wonderful that you will now be responsible for that little expense.

While you mull that over, keep in mind that she has a truck. It doesn’t run at the moment, so you have the choice of appropriating some Department of Defense funds to fix the vehicle, or getting up early to drive her to school.

Kristen also has a boyfriend. Oh joy! While she possesses all of the wisdom of the universe, her alleged mother and I have felt it best to occasionally remind her of the virtues of abstinence, or in the face of overwhelming passion, safe sex. This is always uncomfortable, and I am quite relieved that you will be handling this in the future. May I suggest that you reinstate Dr. Jocelyn Elders, who had a rather good handle on the problem?

Patrick is 14. I’ve had my suspicions about this one. His eyes are a little closer together than those of normal people. He may be a tax examiner himself one day, if he is not incarcerated first. In February, I was awakened at three in the morning by a police officer who was bringing Patrick home. He and his friends were TP’ing houses. For future reference, would you like him delivered to the local IRS office, or to Ogden, UT?

Kids at 14 will do almost anything on a dare. His hair is purple. Permanent dye, temporary dye, what’s the big deal? Learn to deal with it. You’ll have plenty of time, as he is sitting out a few days of school after instigating a food fight in the cafeteria. I’ll take care of filing your phone number with the vice-principal.

Oh yes, he and all of his friends have raging hormones. This house is filled with testosterone and it will be much more peaceful when he lives in your home. Do NOT leave him or his friends unsupervised with girls, explosives, flammables, inflatables, vehicles, or telephones (they find telephones a source of unimaginable amusement, so be sure to lock out the 900 and 976 numbers!).

Heather is an alien. She slid through a time warp and appeared as if by magic one year. I’m sure this one is yours. She is 10 going on 21. She came from a bad trip in the sixties. She wears tie-dyed clothes, beads, sandals, and hair that looks like Tiny Tim’s. Fortunately, you will be raising my taxes to help offset the pinch of her remedial reading courses. “Hooked on Phonics” is expensive, so the school dropped it. But here’s the good news! You can buy it yourself for half the amount of the deduction you are denying me! It’s quite obvious that we were terrible parents (ask the other two).

She cannot speak English. Most people under twenty understand the curious patois she fashioned out of valley girls/boys in the hood/reggae/yuppie/political double speak. The school sends her to a speech pathologist who has her roll her “r’s”. It added a refreshing Mexican/Irish touch to her voice. She wears hats backwards, baggy pants, and wants one of her ears pierced four more times. There is a fascination with tattoos that worries me, but I am sure that you can handle it. Bring a truck when you come to get her, she sort of “nests” in her room and I think that it would be easier to move the entire thing than find out what it is really made of.

You denied two of the three exemptions, so it is only fair that you get to pick which two you will take. I prefer that you take the youngest two, since even though I will still go bankrupt with Kristen’s college, after that I am free! If you take the two oldest, then I still have time for counseling before Heather becomes a teenager. If you take the two girls, then I won’t feel so bad about putting Patrick in a military academy.

Please let me know your decision as soon as possible, as I have already increased the withholding on my W-4 to cover the $395 in additional tax and made a down payment on an airplane.

Yours truly,

Bob

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under IRS, Taxes

San Fran Nan

If it were not for the political power she wields and the money she rakes in, her family would probably have her institutionalized. It seems like she’s suffering from a bad case of dementia.

Nancy Pelosi slams Trump for ‘wasting resources on pointlessly sending troops’ to border

THE ONLY TIME THEY GRIPE ABOUT COST IS WHEN SOMEBODY ELSE IS SPENDING IT
The California Democrat wrote: “@realDonaldTrump is using every cynical political trick in the book to ignite anti-immigrant fervor. Needlessly militarizing our southern border won’t make Americans more safe – it’s just another political calculation.
“Instead of wasting resources on pointlessly sending troops to our border, @realDonaldTrump should work with Democrats to pass the DREAM Act & #ProtectDREAMers,” she added.
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/nancy-pelosi-slams-trump-for-wasting-resources-on-pointlessly-sending-troops-to-border

Pelosi: If We Win, We’re Going to Turn Back the Clock By Repealing the New Law and Massively Increasing Taxes
THEY WOULD HAVE TO HAVE ENOUGH VOTES TO OVERRIDE A PRESIDENTIAL VETO.
Uprooting the entire tax law would inflict massive tax increases on nearly every American family. Approximately nine-in-ten taxpayers are experiencing a reduction in their tax burden thanks to the new policy, on which every last Democrat in Congress voted ‘no.’ Republicans’ parallel programs of de-regulation and tax relief have helped fuel and sustain a sizzling US economy, the positive effects of which are simply undeniable.
https://townhall.com/tipsheet/guybenson/2018/04/05/pelosi-you-bet-democrats-are-going-inflict-massive-middle-class-tax-increases-if-we-win-n2467855

A huge champion of the poor, Nancy Pelosi’s $22 million Napa home boasts tennis courts and a Bocci ball court. She is lucky enough to also have a helicopter landing pad.

Being poor is GREAT! Just not for Nancy
A political creation of unions, she employs ZERO union people at her vineyard and at her luxurious bed & breakfast, Auberge de Soleil, where a burger and fries will set you back $22 before tax and tip.
The same is true of the 16-branch, upscale restaurant chain Pelosi partners in, Piatti, located in 5 states in the USA, shown below. Of the nearly 1,000 employees working there, ZERO are members of a union.

Employing union people is FANTASTIC!!! Just not for Nancy
Pelosi also played a critical role in exempting American Samoa, where 80% of the island works for Starkist Tuna, from a mandatory minimum wage hike, from $5.35 per hour. Advocate For The Poor Pelosi is a major Starkist shareholder, you see.
Bad working conditions, and $5.35 each hour. Sorry Charlie..!
In a single year the bar tab for Pelosi’s huge government plane exceeded $100,000 — one time she diverted it over 1,000 miles in order to pick up a single order of chocolate-dipped strawberries.
In Feb 2018 Chris Matthews claimed the GOP’s strategy to maintain its congressional majority was to relentlessly attack Nancy “because she is an ethnic sort of person”.
Behold the highly ethnic, hardscrabble Pelosi clan below, decked out in gangsta finery in South Central Napa Valley:


1 Comment

Filed under Democrats, Immigration, Nancy Pelosi, Taxes, U.S. Congress

Bits & Bytes

2016 Hillary meets Obama Legacy car crash toon

Democrats have just pledged to repeal the president’s popular tax cuts if they win this fall? Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R., Ky.) rightly declared the plan a “nonstarter” and the White House concurred. “Only tone-deaf Democrats could think the proper response to the booming Trump economy, higher wages and hard-working Americans keeping more of their own money is to reverse the policies that got us here.”

Unions have been seen as the foundation of Democrat election victories for decades. But that could now be changing due to the popularity of Trump’s tariff proposals with the major unions. During a Thursday interview with the decidedly anti-Trump MSNBC network, the president of United Steelworkers had shockingly positive words to say about Trump and his tariff plan. “We’ve been trying to get Democrats to this for more than 30 years.”

2018_03 01 Obama Library by Terrell

Since President Trump’s election, the left has morphed into a bizarre mixture of fascist groups “against fascism,” free speech groups that fanatically shut-down speech with which they disagree, and pro-illegal immigrant groups that ignore DACA.

Unfunny Kathy Griffin’s career imploded after she posted a photo of herself holding a bloody severed Donald Trump “head.” Now she says she’s going to do it again with Mike Pence.

2018_03 Broward Coward and 911

A concealed-carry license holder in Grand Prairie, Texas stopped a violent crime spree by holding the suspect at gunpoint until police arrived on the scene.

Despite what the mainstream media and LGBT groups have long claimed, the 2016 mass shooter in Orlando had no idea that Pulse was a gay nightclub.

Leave a comment

Filed under Crime, Democrats, Donald Trump, Law Enforcement, Taxes, Unions

Bits & Bytes

Ancient Grammar Police

The New York Times had to correct their story about how a hypothetical New York couple’s taxes would go up … after it was shown that their taxes would actually go down.

Donald Trump’s tariffs on nations that cheat on trade agreements are exactly what he promised during the campaign.

The Trump Department of Justice will be giving the Operation Fast and Furious documents that the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform failed for years to get the “transparent” Obama’s DOJ to produce.

The House Select Committee on Intelligence has begun investigating former Secretary of State John F. Kerry’s connection to the fake Trump-Russia dossier.

2018_03 Broward Coward

The real reason for gun violence is not a lack of government control, but the fact that our souls and our society are desperately corrupt, sick, and immoral.

2018_03 08 GOP v Dem by Branco

Valerie Huber, the acting deputy assistant secretary for population affairs at HHS and longtime advocate of abstinence is now the final arbiter of which groups will receive federal family planning funds.

Oscar Romero and Pope Paul VI will be canonized in 2018.

Leave a comment

Filed under Catholic Church, Crime, Fast & Furious, HHS, John Kerry, Russia, Taxes, U.S. Congress

More reasons for Dems to sit down and scowl

2018_02 SOTU Democrats

Last week, the numbers of Americans filing for unemployment benefits fell to its lowest level in nearly 45 years.

The number of individuals getting food stamps (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program or SNAP) has continued to decline under the Trump Administration.

The satellite provider DISH announced that it is bringing about 1,000 sales, human resources, and customer relations jobs back to the U.S. from overseas.

This week, Chipotle joined the ranks of companies giving out cash, stock bonuses, and improved parental leave benefits to workers following sweeping changes to the outdated U.S. tax code championed by President Trump.

1 Comment

Filed under Democrats, Economy, Taxes, Unemployment

Still Keeping Promises

2017 Bitter Clingers toon

“With Home Depot and Starbucks moving to offer employees bonuses as a result of President Trump’s tax reform package, the total number of firms rewarding workers has reached 250, a jump of 525 percent in just two weeks,” Washington Examiner reports. “The companies have credited the tax changes for plans to offer bonuses of up to $3,000, increases in retirement plans, wage hikes and even adoption benefits,” Paul Bedard writes.

Reuters reports that FedEx “will spend more than $3.2 billion on wage increases, bonuses, pension funding and capital investment, taking advantage of the U.S. tax overhaul signed into law in December.” Eric M. Johnson writes that “the announcement makes FedEx the latest U.S. company to promise higher pay for workers, citing the tax cuts.”

Sources:

Comments Off on Still Keeping Promises

Filed under Donald Trump, Economy, Taxes

And in the Rest of the News

Wall Street Whistleblower: Clinton Foundation is the ‘Largest Charitable Fraud in American History’

Former investment banker and self-styled Wall Street whistleblower Charles Ortel is one of the foremost experts on Clinton Foundation corruption. According to Ortel, “examination of available facts demonstrates the Clinton Foundation and its network of false-front charity “initiatives” and affiliates remains the largest set of unprosecuted charitable frauds in American history.”


The FBI has asked retired Australian policeman-turned investigative journalist, Michael Smith, to provide information he has gathered detailing multiple allegations of the Clinton Foundation receiving tens of millions of mishandled taxpayer funds, according to LifeZette.

One report after another from various media outlets have shown strange coincidences involving the Clinton Foundation.

The Clinton Foundation would receive huge donations from donor X only to have donor X magically get favorable decisions by Hillary Clinton’s State Department around the same time.

http://thegatewaypundit.com/2018/01/wall-street-whistleblower-clinton-foundation-largest-charitable-fraud-american-history/

Judge acquits Sen. Menendez on some charges

A federal judge has acquitted New Jersey Sen. Bob Menendez and his friend Salomon Melgen of several charges, according to a new order filed Wednesday.

The order from Judge William Walls comes days after the Justice Department announced that it would retry its case against Menendez. The original trial, which took place in the fall of 2017, ended after the jury failed to reach a unanimous verdict on any of the 18 counts in the case.

THIS IS WHY I STATE WITH CONFIDENCE THAT NO IMPORTANT DEMOCRAT WILL EVER SEE ANY PRISON TIME BECAUSE THE JUDICIAL SYSTEM HAS BEEN SO HOPELESSLY CORRUPTED.

[CtH: Thankfully, GOD’s justice is perfect!]

Walls wrote in a 50-page opinion that while political contributions can be the subject of a bribery case, the prosecution in this case did not demonstrate an explicit “quid pro quo” agreement between Menendez and Melgen in relation to Melgen’s contributions.

https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/24/politics/menendez-acquitted/index.html

Sessions DOJ Moves To Protect Deep State AGAIN, Warns Against Releasing FISA Memo Without FBI Review

The Sessions Justice Department is calling on House Intelligence Chairman Devin Nunes (R-CA) to allow the FBI to review the “shocking,” FISA abuse memo to ensure its release will not harm national security.
SESSIONS IS STILL PROTECTING HIS FRIENDS

While on the face on it, the Justice Department’s request is both logical and prudent. However, once in possession of the memo, which is likely to expose the role of top level FBI and Justice Department officials in using the Steele dossier to obtain FISA spy warrants, what do you think bureau officials will do? Wage a fierce PR campaign against it and the Republican lawmakers who demand the memo to be released.

http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2018/01/wow-sessions-doj-moves-protect-deep-state-warns-releasing-fisa-memo-without-fbi-review/

James Woods Says What We Are All Thinking About Jeff Sessions and ‘Missing’ FBI Text Messages

It is obvious to anyone paying attention that Jeff Sessions has no control over the Justice Department.  Jeff Sessions has pretty much surrendered the DOJ to Deputy AG Rod Rosenstein.

Rosenstein thanked Sessions for the exchange of power by appointing Special Counsel Robert Mueller to carry out a coup d’etat.

AG Sessions has the ability to unrecuse himself and end this Mueller witch hunt once and for all but he continues to sit on the sidelines as Americans watch Mueller take scalps.http://thegatewaypundit.com/2018/01/james-woods-says-thinking-jeff-sessions-missing-fbi-text-messages/

Steve Schmidt Dismisses Reports of Corruption in FBI as a ‘Smear Campaign’

There’s the main reason MSNBC has this Trump-hating phony Republican on. To say stuff like this to the delight of host Chris Matthews.  Unbelievably, Schmidt’s deranged rants kept host Chris Matthews from seizing the mantle as the nuttiest person on Tuesday’s show.

http://www.hapblog.com/2018/01/steve-schmidt-dismisses-reports-of.html

John Kerry Tells Palestinian Official in London – “Trump Will Not Remain in Office Long”

John Kerry met with a top Palestinian official in London recently.  Kerry told the Fatah leader to stay strong because Trump will not be in office long.  Kerry also hinted that he may run for office again.

During the conversation, according to the report, Kerry asked Agha to convey a message to Abbas and ask him to “hold on and be strong.” Tell him, he told Agha, “that he should stay strong in his spirit and play for time, that he will not break and will not yield to President Trump’s demands.” According to Kerry, Trump will not remain in office for a long time. It was reported that within a year there was a good chance that Trump would not be in the White House.

http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2018/01/john-kerry-meets-palestinian-fatah-leader-london-says-trump-will-not-remain-office-long/

John Kerry tells Mahmoud Abbas ally that he might run for president in 2020 as he urges Palestinians to ‘play for time’ and ‘not give in to Trump’

Former secretary of state told a close confidant of Mahmoud Abbas that he’s considering another run for the White House.  Urged Palestinians to ‘play for time’ while Trump is president and said he could broker a separate peace deal with Israel.  Lebanese academic who met with Kerry in London relayed the conversation back to the Palestinian Authority, and an Israeli newspaper reported it.  Kerry, 74, was the Democratic presidential nominee in 2004 but lost to George W. Bush.

[CtH: Funny thing how nearly all the Democrats talking about running are old, rich, white guys.]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5308005/John-Kerry-says-run-president-2020.html#ixzz55DHLPA9Q

Sessions Threatens Sanctuary Cities With Subpoenas

The Justice Department warns it may subpoena documents explaining illegal alien-shielding policies.
TOUGH GUY…GO AFTER CITIES WHERE YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING AND TRY TO ENFORCE FEDERAL MARIJUANA LAWS IN STATES THAT HAVE MADE IT LEGAL. BUT DON’T PROSECUTE YOUR FRIENDS. NOPE, NOPE, NOPE.

“I continue to urge all jurisdictions under review to reconsider policies that place the safety of their communities and their residents at risk,” Attorney General Jeff Sessions said in a statement.

“Protecting criminal aliens from federal immigration authorities defies common sense and undermines the rule of law. We have seen too many examples of the threat to public safety represented by jurisdictions that actively thwart the federal government’s immigration enforcement—enough is enough.”

THEY JUST WANT THE VOTES. PERIOD.

https://www.frontpagemag.com/fpm/269127/sessions-threatens-sanctuary-cities-subpoenas-matthew-vadum

Cuomo wants to let Dreamers go to college for free

Cuomo tucked a provision in his $168 billion budget plan that would amend state education law to make the undocumented students eligible for the Excelsior Scholarship program, which covers tuition costs for students from families with incomes of up to $125,000.

On Tuesday, he said the state would continue providing Medicaid to Dreamers regardless of any federal changes to the Deferred Action Childhood Arrival Program, or DACA.

MEANWHILE AMERICAN KIDS PAY FULL PRICE

https://nypost.com/2018/01/24/cuomo-wants-to-let-dreamers-go-to-college-for-free/amp/

Mayors boycott White House meeting after administration threatens sanctuary cities

The leaders of New York, Chicago and New Orleans were among the Democrats who snubbed the Tuesday afternoon event after the Justice Department sent a threatening directive to their cites and 20 other cities and counties over their sanctuary policies regarding immigrants.

New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu, president of the mayors conference, also said the Justice Department’s attack on so-called sanctuary cities moved him to boycott the White House meeting.

“I cannot in good conscience as president of the Unites States Conference of Mayors go to a meeting under false pretenses,” he said.

The list of invitees made public by the White House did not include Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel, whose city is also one that the Trump administration has challenged over sanctuary policies. His office said he was invited and opted not to attend.

[CtH: Are they all going to hold their breath and kick their heels on the pavement until mean Donald gives them what they want?]

LANDRIEU IS THE BROTHER OF MARY “LOUISIANA PURCHASE” LANDRIEU AND PART OF THE MOST CORRUPT FAMILY IN LOUISIANA.

http://www.latimes.com/politics/la-na-pol-essential-washington-updates-mayors-boycott-white-house-meeting-after-1516819159-htmlstory.html

De Blasio abruptly cancels White House meeting with Trump

“I came down here ready to have a serious meeting and what I got was a publicity stunt from Trump,” Hizzoner told reporters in Washington D.C.

“He said, ‘Come over to my house but I’m going to take your wallet while you’re there.’ It was a slap in the face to our cities and our people.”

https://nypost.com/2018/01/24/de-blasio-abruptly-cancels-white-house-meeting-with-trump/

Trump lashes out at mayors boycotting White House event
The mayors who choose to boycott this event have put the needs of criminal, illegal immigrants over law-abiding America,” Trump told a group of mayors who attended the event. “So let me tell you, the vast majority of people showed up.”

The president spoke after the Justice Department threatened to legally compel almost two-dozen cities to show that they are cooperating with federal immigration laws.

[CtH: Remember when Obama sneered at Bush for refusing to meet with certain foreign leaders?]

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/trump-lashes-out-at-mayors-boycotting-white-house-event/ar-AAv7Ysj?li=BBnb4R7&ocid=UE12DHP

New Missouri Rising Digital Ad Likens McCaskill to Clinton, Calls Her ‘Too Liberal for Missouri’

HER LAST TERM WAS AN ABSOLUTE GIFT AFTER TODD AKIN SAID RAPE VICTIMS SHOULD RELAX AND ENJOY IT. SHE MUST HAVE BLOWN OATMEAL OUT OF HER NOSE, SINCE UP TO THAT POINT SHE WAS AS GOOD AS GONE. SHE’S BECOME EVEN RICHER SINCE THEN.

Pelosi Tries to Extend $137,000 Tax Break for Two of Her Multi-Million-Dollar Homes

Congress’s wealthiest woman plays the tax game too: Pelosi rushed to pre-pay property taxes after decrying GOP tax overhaul as middle-class tax hike and corporate giveaway

Largely thanks to her husband Paul, a real-estate and venture-capital investor, Pelosi is the wealthiest woman in Congress with a net worth of more than $100 million and the seventh wealthiest member overall, according to the Center for Responsive Politics.
In fact, assets and cash disclosed in her 2016 financial-disclosure statement places Pelosi in the top one-tenth of the 1 percent of Americans.

Pelosi’s annual property tax bill alone on three luxury homes last year—$137,000—is more than twice the 2016 U.S. median household income of $59,039, which the U.S. Census reported last fall.

http://freebeacon.com/politics/pelosi-tries-extend-tax-break-two-multi-million-dollar-homes/

I CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOW ROCKFORD GOT ON THIS LIST…WE’RE AN HOUR NORTHWEST OF CHICAGO. MAYBE THEY COMMUTE.

Comments Off on And in the Rest of the News

Filed under Andrew Cuomo, Bill Clinton, Bill de Blasio, Chris Matthews, FBI, Government Corruption, Hillary Clinton, Immigration, Jeff Sessions, John Kerry, Nancy Pelosi, Robert Menendez, Taxes

Crumbs

2018_01 24 Pelosi Bah Crumbs

Because of the Republicans’ Tax Reform …

  • Walt Disney Co. is giving a one-time cash bonus of $1,000 to about 125,000 employees.
  • Verizon is giving each employee stocks worth about $2,600.
  • Starbucks will give domestic employees pay raises, company stock and expanded benefits with a combined worth of more than $250 million.
  • J.P. Morgan is raising the hourly wage of workers an average 10%, hiring 500 new bankers to focus on small business lending, and opening up to 400 new branches which will directly employ around 3,000 people. The company has pledged to increase lending for affordable housing and ramp up its community investments by 50%.

No word yet from Nancy Pelosi on what kind of “crumby” raises and/or bonuses she is giving HER employees.

Sources:

Comments Off on Crumbs

Filed under Taxes