Category Archives: Funny Stuff

Checking in with Los Feliz

Los Feliz Daycare (motto: “We do not accept immunized children”) is an ultra-progressive child care center in an unspecified affluent neighborhood on the left coast. Some recent tweets:

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God Apologizes for Gendered Language in Bible

From The Babylon Bee.

HEAVEN—Remorseful for using terms that fly in the face of contemporary progressive sensibilities, God Almighty issued an apology Tuesday for the gendered language found throughout His Word, the Holy Bible.

“The fact that gendered language has been non-offensive for millennia is no excuse, since through my omniscience I knew that by the time the 21st Century rolled around it would no longer be considered acceptable,” the statement, miraculously delivered through a heavenly messenger, read in part.

“Please accept my deepest and most sincere apologies for using such offensive terminology when describing humankind and myself throughout the pages of Scripture, and feel free to edit the eternal Word of God so that it aligns more closely with your current, advanced understanding of the nature of things,” he continued, adding that it was never His intention to advance the agenda of the patriarchy.

“My choices were unfortunate and regrettable, and I have no intention of trying to mansplain them away. I will do better.”

Bible publishers worldwide reportedly began work Tuesday on new translations of the Holy Scriptures, removing any pronouns or phrases which specify a gender either directly or by implication.

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Creative Conservatism

As you may or may not be aware, some nitwits flew a chicken balloon over the White House that was supposed to resemble President Trump. He wasn’t even there, but that didn’t stop these retards. Given the superior intellect and imagination of conservatives, they jumped all over this idiotic stunt.

After liberal protesters set up a 30-foot inflatable chicken outside the White House, President Trump’s supporters joyfully appropriated the image for their memes.
On Reddit, Trump fans rendered the chicken into meme-worthy images, setting free a torrent of pro-Trump chicken memes.

http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2017/08/11/trump-fans-gleefully-appropriate-trump-chicken-meme-magic/

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Funny! “Don’t eat that food!”

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Filed under Food, Funny Stuff, Health & Nutrition

Hillary’s Late Night Phone Call To the President

REBLOGGED FROM JAN AT DIOGENES’ MIDDLE FINGER:
Hillary Clinton phoned the President’s office shortly after midnight. “I need to talk to President Trump, it’s an emergency!” exclaimed Hillary. After some cajoling, the President’s assistant finally agreed to disturb his boss’s important study time…….

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Checking in with Los Feliz

Los Feliz Daycare (motto: “We do not accept immunized children”) is an ultra-progressive child care center in an unspecified affluent neighborhood on the left coast. Some recent tweets:

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Palate Cleansers

In modern politics, nothing ever changes much. Democrats hate republicans, republicans hate each other, and they all pretend to have the best interests of the folks back home at heart. In the end, the rich (them) get richer and we get played for fools as our pockets get picked. It’s a crappy system, but it is what it is.
There’s plenty of time post-nap for more serious things, but I want to post some things that make you forget momentarily what a brutally sinful world we live in. You might want to keep a kleenex handy. Just sayin’.

Wedding Bride Receives Priceless Surprise As Her Deceased Son Shows Up Vicariously
This is beautiful.
For one bride in Alaska, the heartbreaking death of her son as a teenager meant she was not able to include all of her children in the ceremony. Her son had died years before she ever expected he would. Most parents would agree this is the worst case scenario, hard for most to recover from. Becky Turney made a choice to donate her son Triston Green’s organs when he died two years before her wedding day. One of his organs, his heart, was to play a significant role in the big day.
At the time that Kilby received the heart, he had already waited on the transplant list for a year and a half. He had also been in the hospital for 45 days after his first transplanted heart stopped working fully. After receiving the transplanted heart, Kilby recovered enough to live a normal life.
It was through this Facebook contact that Kilby’s aunt met Turney’s fiancé. This contact put a plan into effect that reunited Turney with her son’s heart just in time for the wedding.

https://conservativedailypost.com/wedding-bride-receives-priceless-surprise-deceased-son-shows-vicariously/

Disabled Former Marine Meets His Grandson in Uniform for the first time after 2 years
IMAGINE THIS GRANDFATHER’S PRIDE

Man Takes a Bath in the Flooded Streets of Saskatoon
THINK YOUR TOWN GOT A LOT OF RAIN?

Diamond and Silk Let The Women On The View Have It

BE VERY, VERY CAREFUL WHOSE PURSE YOU TRY TO GRAB… SERIOUSLY

15 pounds of frozen Italian sausage crashes on Florida family’s roof
CALL PIZZA HUT… SEE IF THEY’RE MISSING ANYTHING
Family wonders how mystery meat ended up there
“We got up, found two packages of sausage on our side yard, and then we were like, ‘OK, well, we got to go on the roof and check and see if we find more of this stuff,'” Austin Adair said.
Sure enough, there were three more packages of Italian pork sausage.

https://www.clickorlando.com/strange-florida/15-pounds-of-frozen-italian-sausage-crashes-down-on-familys-roof

Soldier salutes funeral procession in pouring rain

Erin Hester was on her way to work after a lunch break when a soldier got out of his car in the pouring rain to salute a funeral procession as it drove by in Vine Grove, Kentucky last week.
“As soon as he got out of the car, it made me tear up,” Hester told Fox News.
Kentucky law states that funeral processions have the right-of-way at intersections when accompanied by an escort.
Hester said that lately she had noticed that people weren’t pulling over and stopping for funeral processions in the town, adding that the soldier “went above and beyond
Hester posted a photo of the soldier on Instagram and Facebook and the post has received over 100,000 shares and 142,000 likes.
“It was true honor, respect, integrity, and humanity…I want people to see this,” she said.
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/07/11/soldier-salutes-funeral-procession-in-pouring-rain.html

‘Cereal’ burglar hog-tied on Lewis Co. roadside after stealing a bowlful
A homeowner in rural Glenoma in Lewis County got a big shock Monday morning when he awoke and found a stranger sitting at his kitchen table calmly eating a bowl of cereal. A few minutes later, the stranger found himself hog-tied along the roadside after he tried to flee.
Meanwhile, another resident of the home called 911 and deputies were dispatched to the scene.
The homeowner found the suspect — later identified as a 52-year-old transient from Tampa, Fla. — along the roadside about 500 feet from their residence and ordered him to the ground at riflepoint.
The suspect complied and the homeowner put away his rifle. The residents then hog-tied the suspect and waited for deputies to arrive, Breen said.

COMMENTS:
Clearly, irresponsible cereal owners are the actual problem here.
Having common sense laws in place regarding safe cereal storage in the home obviously would have prevented this tragedy if it weren’t for the powerful national cereal lobby. Write your congressman today.
Justice! Now send him to Seattle for a free tent, 3 squares, and health care.
Good thing all he wanted was cereal and wasn’t a cereal killer. Good, no kill defensive maneuver by the homeowners to hog tie him for the cops. This is none to subtle reminder to lock up your house, including your garage which is favorite snatch and grab for thieves.
http://www.seattlepi.com/local/komo/article/Cereal-burglar-hog-tied-on-Lewis-Co-roadside-11297641.php

Walking while texting
THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS
I WATCHED A COP SHOW WHERE A GUY GOT ARRESTED, AND EVEN HANDCUFFED HE NEVER LET GO OF HIS PHONE.
SOME PEOPLE CAN’T BEAR TO BE WITHOUT THEM EVEN FOR A SECOND.

SJW Teachers get trolled by students who decorate entire classroom with Trump pictures
THERE MAY BE SOME HOPE FOR AMERICA’S YOUTH AFTER ALL

FINISH WITH A FLOURISH:

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Checking in with Los Feliz

Los Feliz Daycare (motto: “We do not accept immunized children”) is an ultra-progressive child care center in an unspecified affluent neighborhood on the left coast. Some recent tweets:

1 Comment

Filed under Funny Stuff