Author Archives: bluebird of bitterness

Bigoted Progressive Christian Refuses to Call God by His Preferred Pronouns

From The Babylon Bee.

PORTLAND, OR—Local bigot Jordyn Michaels reported Wednesday she is still refusing to call God His preferred gender pronouns, insisting on referring to Him as “God the Mother,” “She,” and “Her,” sources confirmed.

 

Despite being called out for hate speech by her fellow progressives, Michaels continues to refuse to utilize the pronouns God used for Himself in the Bible.

“I know our great Mother God never refers to Herself as a woman in the Scriptures, but I’m gonna go ahead and do it anyway,” the backward, prejudiced woman said on a Patheos blog entry entitled “Discovering Sacred Serenity In Mother God.”

“I refuse to bow to male normative traditions imposed on me. My own feelings dictate reality, and right now they’re dictating that God can be communicated with as a female if I really want Her to be.”

At publishing time, the hopelessly bigoted woman had confirmed she would continue upholding oppressive gender norms by referring to God with female pronouns that were created by a patriarchal gender construct.

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Perv Al Franken: The Video Was Funnier, Shows Me Saying Honk, Honk

From The Barbed Wire.

MINNESOTA – Senator Al Franken, busted today for a photo showing him groping Leeann Tweeden in 2006 while she was sleeping on a flight back from the Middle East, says the public would get the joke if they could just see the video of the incident.

“The photo alone makes me look really creepy and perverted,” Franken admitted, “But the video is what everybody needs to see. It’s much funnier. Right after the shot in the photo was taken, I said ‘honk, honk!’ as I squeezed my hands over her breasts. It was priceless!”

Franken

Al thinks America would cut him a break if they could see the incident in proper context. “Look, she had already rebuffed my open mouth kiss during a skit onstage. She owed me…..Al Franken. I don’t even know why people are making such a big deal about this. I’m not a Republican.”

The senator also said that if anyone doubts that he’s a straight-up gentleman, and always treats the ladies right, they should ask his best friend Fred Garvin, male prostitute, about his integrity. “He’ll vouch for me,” Al said.

Fred Garvin…..male prostitute.

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Tech giants and ideological cleansing

If you work for Big Tech, never, ever challenge leftist orthodoxy. If you do, you could end up like this unfortunate young man: out on your ear.

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Another Actress Accuses Kirk Cameron of Treating Her with Respect

From The Babylon Bee.

HOLLYWOOD, CA—An unnamed actress has come forward and accused outspoken Christian actor Kirk Cameron of treating her with respect and dignity—the seventh one in recent weeks—reports confirmed Monday.

As a seemingly endless wave of sexual misconduct and abuse allegations continue to rock Tinseltown, the actress reported numerous instances when Cameron, who is vocal about his Christian faith, showed her the utmost respect, never once approaching anything even resembling an explicit or implied request for sexual favors in exchange for career advancement.

“I never felt threatened, and I always felt safe and respected around him,” the actress told reporters. “Something about it felt really strange.”

“It was a bit odd, but I quickly got used to it,” she added.

At publishing time, additional actresses had come forward to identify Cameron, along with several openly Christian filmmakers, as men who treated them like fellow humans with inherent value, and not as sexual objects to be exploited. Multiple witnesses confirmed the allegations.

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The truth about Thanksgiving

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A prayer for peace

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Checking in with Los Feliz

Los Feliz Daycare (motto: “We do not accept immunized children”) is an ultra-progressive child care center in an unspecified affluent neighborhood on the left coast. Some recent tweets:

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Halloween funnies

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