GOD-INCIDENCE: This reminds me of a similar story I read in Guideposts years ago. A cop couldn’t get to a suffocating baby until a bulldozer operator plowed a path for him through the construction site. Later the cop stopped to thank the ‘dozer driver and tell him the baby survived. The driver told him, “I know. That was my son.”
CORONAVIRUS: Trump signed an $8.3 billion emergency funding bill early Friday to assist the fight against the coronavirus.
SHRILLARY: Hillary Clinton proclaims she is the “most investigated innocent person in America” in a new Hulu autobiographical docuseries about the twice-failed presidential candidate.
“Going all the way back to the Whitewater days. I’ve never understood this and I will go to my grave not understanding it. All these things get disproved, but the press, and I’m talking about the major press, they always bite,” Clinton says. “This is not just politics, this is deep cultural stuff,” she adds.
TRANS: The gender-neutral bathroom at Rhinelander High School in Rhinelander, Wisconsin, has been closed following an alleged sexual assault. The 18-year-old male perp was arrested on charges of child enticement, fourth-degree sexual assault, and exposing genitals to a child.
The idiots couldn’t see this coming? They had to wait until some kid was scarred for life before deciding this was a bad, bad idea?
MATH IS HARD: We already knew Brian Williams is an idiot, so the only thing that is true and disturbing about this is that a member of the New York Times EDITORIAL board didn’t notice that $500 million divided by 375 million people does not equal $1 million per person.
BABYLON BEE: The CDC is suggesting lots of weird ways to avoid contracting coronavirus, such as “washing your hands” and “not licking doorknobs.” These methods sound kind of sciencey, so we were immediately suspicious of them.
Sure enough, it seems the best way to avoid getting infected is supernatural. … They tried other substances, such as liberal tears, hand sanitizer, and essential oils, but only Chick-fil-A sauce proved 100% effective at staving off the Angel of Coronavirus.
GRAMMY NOTES: In case you’re wondering, this (photo) is what I do while I’m listening to all the videos I preview for all y’all. 🙂
In the words of a crochet bud on Facebook, “When I’m stressed I reach for my hook. The repetitive motions are soothing. The colors and patterns make me happy. Creating something gives me a sense of accomplishment.”