My latest update from the campaign trail
ABORTION BERNIE: In 1987, Bernie Sanders said, “If we expanded Medicaid [to] everybody. Give everybody a Medicaid card—we would be spending such an astronomical sum of money that, you know, we would bankrupt the nation.”
This is still true, but now he has introduced legislation to actually do it.
LEFTIST MIND: This reminds me of the briefly exciting notice I got from Medicare at the beginning of this year informing me that acupuncture is now covered and that, for a small monthly fee, I could also get some dental coverage.
The acupuncturists in my area told me they don’t accept assignment, because the amount is so pathetically low they can’t be bothered. And the dental coverage is so minimal that the “small” monthly fee isn’t worth it, so I didn’t even bother to call my dentist.
Medicare-for-All would be more of the same, but much, much worse.
BERNIE’S BROS: Babylon Bee used this illustration for its satirical article, “After Bernie Sanders praised elements of Cuba’s totalitarian regime, the presidential candidate’s loyal supporters scrambled to cobble together makeshift rafts so they could paddle over to Cuba to experience the Communist island’s renowned literacy programs, medical care, and other social services.”
But it seems to me that if Bernie gets robbed again this year, like he did back in 2016, his outraged followers really should abandon this corrupt and capitalistic country for Cuba or one of the other properly-managed, totalitarian utopias around the globe.
SLOW JOE: [:13] – Joe Biden, 77, made this incredible statement recently in South Carolina – “My name is Joe Biden. I’m a Democratic candidate for the United States Senate.”
Some sites are saying he said “choose the other Biden” at the end, but I think it’s “choose the other guy.”