Amazon reviews are a great way to research whether to click that buy button, but they can be entertaining as well.
Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife: “I tried to file my nails, but in the process I accidentally fixed a small engine that was nearby. Which was nice.”
Stainless steel whistle: “Whistle goes whooo.”
A Daddle (saddle for riding on your dad): “Please note that this Daddle is Western Style and will not be appropriate for those trained in the English Father Riding Method whereby one holds a rein in each hand and posts the trot. If you are looking forward to father jumping, father fox hunting, father polo or daddy dressage you will not be able to use this Daddle.”
Horse head mask: “It is day 87 and the horses have accepted me as one of their own. I have grown to understand and respect their gentle ways.”
High fiber breakfast cereal called “Poop Like A Champion”: Apparently, it really works. Reviewer wrote, “I remember thinking, ‘So this is how I’m going to die. In a Walmart restroom.'”
Giant latex lobster claws: “i prowl the neighborhood by night…lobsterman! evil flees in the face of my mighty pincers…the streets are safe…the night breeze is cool on my bony armor…i sleep in a tide pool by day protected by vigilant trigger fish..these claws have opened a whole new vista of existence…highly recommended…they were the last pair in stock when i bought them…weep if the tears will come.”
18 Gauge, Black Brush Metal Casket with Velvet Interior: “Haven’t heard a single peep from grandma since she received this.”
Large latex rooster mask: “When I received this my wife was at work. I waited until she was getting ready for work the next morning and put it on with my face right in front of hers while she was blow drying her hair with her eyes closed. When she opened them and saw me she screamed like I’ve never heard her scream and punched me in the arm. Hard. So yeah, it’s a great quality mask.”
A book called “A Million Random Digits” that was written by the RAND Corporation in the 1950s to provide random numbers for research workers to use: Reviewer complained the title is deceptive. “They only used 10 [digits], and just kept repeating them in different combinations! Don’t be fooled!”
A computer desk that mounts on your car’s steering wheel: “You wouldn’t believe how much more interesting my commute is now that I have something to do other than just stare out the window! I’m using it right now to post this review and I never”
Click on the links. These two products have far too many funny reviews to share here.
- Book titled “How to Avoid Huge Ships”: https://www.amazon.com/Avoid-Huge-Ships-John-Trimmer/dp/0870334336/.
- Gallon of “Tuscan Whole Milk”: https://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0.