Satire from Andrew Klavan
At this magical Christmas season of the year, it’s good to remember that Jesus told us to love our enemies, and to ask ourselves: “What the hell was that guy talking about?”
After all, when one thinks of all the years in which left-wingers branded us racist and deplorable and then scolded us for being uncivil whenever we fought back; when we think of all the times leftist institutions censored us and shouted us down and even staged riots to attack us and then claimed we were a threat to American freedoms; when we remember how they made movies and wrote books and articles mocking our patriotism and trying to insulate our enemies from criticism and then suddenly dragged out the flag when it came to overturning our votes with a specious impeachment plan — well, it’s easy to imagine it would be fun to drag some of these people out of the Capitol or the New York Times building, whichever was closer, tar and feather them, tie them to a rail, carry them down to the Potomac or the Hudson, whichever was closer, all the while cheering at the sight of their much-deserved humiliation, and finally hurl them into the river where they belong and point and laugh as they are swept out to sea in the debris-filled water while occasionally also pelting them with rotten fruit and vegetables and maybe a few crumpled up newspapers or maybe a few crumpled up anchor people from the news networks and did I already say we could point and laugh at them — I think I did — but there’s no reason we couldn’t point and laugh at them some more until they were finally washed out of sight leaving this great country they in no way deserve better, freer, richer, more powerful and more united than ever before.
I forgot where I was going with this.
Oh yeah. Jesus said love your enemies. So I guess we can’t do any of that.
So… Merry Christmas.