Andrew Klavan Explains The Rules

2019_10 23 Kavanaugh family

Learn To Play By The Rules Of Politics So Democrats Can Destroy The Country By Andrew Klavan

The following is satirical.

If there’s one thing that’s important for every American to know, it’s how to play by the rules of politics. Playing by the rules allows you to maintain an atmosphere of civility and dignity while the Democrats run roughshod over every norm of behavior and destroy everything good and true about America.

So let’s learn some of the rules.

When someone completely unassociated with Donald Trump produces a video in which Trump shoots his enemies in the Democrat Party and the media, it proves that Trump is degrading public discourse and inspiring violence.

When a sportswear company puts an enormous billboard in Times Square showing a woman tying Trump up and stomping on the president’s face, then it’s time to buy some new sportswear.

When Arizona’s lady Governor Jan Brewer pointed a finger at President Barack Obama and told him she needed some border security, that was called “Fingergate” and was an example of Brewer’s racist disrespect for our first black president – who, did I mention, was black?

When House Speaker Nancy Pelosi stuck out her finger at Donald Trump, that was an example of feminist independence and courage and time to buy some new sportswear and stomp on the president’s face.

When Barack Obama’s Justice Department and Intelligence Agencies spied on the opposing party’s campaign, that was our heroic deep state protecting Americans from their incorrect decisions.

When Donald Trump suggested Ukraine examine corruption that might include opposition candidate Joe Biden, that was worse than Watergate in which a president spied on the opposing party like Barack Obama did to Trump.

Finally, when the news media lie and distort in order to support a deep state coup, that’s freedom of speech. When Americans speak out freely against the media’s corruption, that endangers the First Amendment.

You must follow these rules carefully or else you could wake up and find yourself telling a power-obsessed bunch of baby-killing Communist Democrats and media to kiss your butt and then go straight to hell.

And we wouldn’t want that.

CtH: My apologies to Andrew for reprinting this in its entirety and without bothering to ask his permission. It needs to be read.


Filed under Andrew Klavan

10 responses to “Andrew Klavan Explains The Rules

  1. red

    1. The Democrat makes THE RULES. 
    2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice. 
    3. No Citizen can possible know all THE RULES. 
    4. If the Democrat suspects the Citizen knows some or all THE RULES, the Democrat must immediately change some of THE RULES.
    5. The Democrat is never wrong.
    6. If it appears the Democrat is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Citizen did or said wrong.
    7. If Rule #6 applies, the Citizen must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding. 
    8. The Democrat can change his/her/its mind at any time. 
    9. The Citizen must never change his mind without the express, written consent of The Democrat. 
    10. The Democrat has every right to be angry or upset at any time. 
    11. The Citizen must remain calm at all times, unless the Democrat wants him to be angry or upset. 
    12. The Democrat must, under no circumstances, let the Citizen know whether she wants him to be angry or upset. 
    13. The Citizen is expected to read the mind of the Democrat at all times. 
    14. At all times, what is important is what the Democrat meant, not what she/he/it said. 
    15. If the Citizen doesn’t abide by THE RULES, it is because he can’t take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp. 
    16. If the Democrat has PMS, all RULES are null and void. 
    17. Any attempt to document THESE RULES could result in intense bodily harm. 
    18. If the Citizen, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5

    Liked by 1 person

    • chrissythehyphenated

      #17 … how you doing, friend? Do we need to get you a Medic Alert bracelet or anything?

      Liked by 1 person

      • red

        Funny, the VA said the same thing 🙂 But, no. I did get a few beatings for defying the dems in Penna, tho. One party rule is like that. Deer blood in the back of the truck. Another time, lugs loosened on a back wheel. It didn’t work and we talked to curanderos, who told their people HOW to vote for Lou Bartletta, despite the dnc demanding Hispanics had to vote only their party. (write-in ballots in the primary run-off for Hazleton mayor 🙂 On a very serious note, after exposing kids for kash and other dem atrocities, the stepchildren’s father committed suicide a la Joe Paterno. He exposed them by accident. He was a journalist and kept blackmail notes on his computer. After my youngest stepdaughter used his computer to download the anarchist cookbook, all hell broke loose. The FBI confiscated the computer and W got to see some of it. Heads began to roll. An agent said, he had never been anywhere in the US where people would come to him, hug him, and thank him for investigating their area. He said even men would start to cry, that’s how bad the dems are. And, in order to learn what was going on, we had to read papers like the Dakar Times, Tokyo Times, NY Post. But, almost nothing in dem controlled papers like the NYT. Peace to you this beautiful All Hallowed Eve. Remember a stern warning about candy!: A minute on the lips, a month on the hips. niio, walk in God’s beauty

        Liked by 1 person

        • chrissythehyphenated

          Wow … we’re so lucky here. It’s Dem country for sure, but the most that happens is some of the GOP election signs hubby puts up around town get stolen or knocked down.

          I don’t wear my MAGA hat or Women for Trump tee outside. I figure I have a better chance of maybe influencing our liberal neighbors of 35 years that way.

          My dd said that one base they lived at, they were told not to put any military stickers on their vehicles, because the locals had taken to keying cars that were obviously from the base. That made me sad and angry.

          But my anti-war friend put photos of my deployed kids on her wall to remind her to pray for them. Some anti-war buddy was APPALLED and gasped, “You don’t SUPPORT the war, do you?!” My friend said, “No, but I do support the soldiers.” I really appreciated that.

          Liked by 2 people

          • red

            I know that one. I have some pro-gun stuff and military on the truck. I got keyed and rammed (into the left side, of course, where I wouldn’t have known it had some kids not told me). Here, on a truck, it’s called a beauty mark, the lark of a work truck. Now, if only I could get Bossy the cow to run a horn thru a door, i’d get good offers to buy it. Yeah, it is Arizona, but it works in NM, TX, and most of the rest of the West 🙂 Be blessed.

            Liked by 1 person

            • chrissythehyphenated

              “beauty mark” LOL


              • red

                Yup. this is cow country. Only town folks have prissy looking trucks 😉 Maybe it’s a guy thing, too, because that what we call scars. Long years ago, when I was young, a man much older than me, maybe in his 20s, was grousing about something. An old man scowled at him and grunted in contempt. “I guess all them scars and such were acquired when you were modeling lady’s underwear in ‘Frisco.” The younger man got quiet and bitter. Then he laughed. “No, sir. We leave them jobs to east Texas sheep molesters.” “then,” the old man said, “They were bought with blood and should be treated with dignity, not acting like some little kid whining ’cause a girl beat him up and stole his dolly.” I wear mine with pride. niio


            • chrissythehyphenated

              That kind of stuff is a huge detriment to resale value up here in We Salt The Roads All Winter Land. LOL

              Liked by 1 person

              • red

                I know. I used to live in Penna. It eats away the vehicles. Here, Arizona, we don’t have to. Salt in the soil melts it fast 🙂 And no cancer on the vehicles, unless you wash it every day! Most of us just wait till it rains, then park it outside.

                Liked by 1 person

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