From The Babylon Bee.
NEW YORK, NY—Local white girl Chloe Winters was tragically turned into a pillar of pumpkin spice after she looked back longingly at a local Starbucks.
Her boyfriend, Zander Byers, said they should keep moving as the line was long and the pumpkin spice drinks are “actually pretty gross and don’t really taste like either pumpkin or spice.”
But Winters didn’t listen and as the two fled the area, she craned her neck to get one final glance. Instantly, she was transformed into a pillar of pumpkin spice, along with her Uggs, North Face jacket, and yoga pants.