Missed It by That Much: Hillary Clinton Almost Wins ‘Wheel of Fortune’ but Then Shouts ‘Easter Worshiper’ Instead of ‘Christian’

From The Babylon Bee.

Some people think Hillary Clinton is robotic and hard to sympathize with, but even our hearts went out to her on this one.

On a special politicians’ episode of Wheel of Fortune, failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton nearly took home the grand prize. She was on the last puzzle of the regular rounds of the game, which read, CHRISTI_N. The audience began to cheer as it appeared Clinton had finally won something.

But, as is usual for Clinton, she snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, and shouted “Easter worshiper!” instead of the obvious answer, which was “Christian.”

Heartbreaker!

Clinton has demanded an appeal, claiming that although she lost fair and square, she feels like she won, as Christians are kinda Easter worshipers, even though no one ever says that.

Other stories of questionable veracity from The Babylon Bee: 

Bernie Sanders Vows to Round Up Remaining ISIS Members, Allow Them to Vote

Enraged Pastor Begins Flipping Tables After Catching Women Selling Various Products in Church Foyer

CNN: ‘God Allowed the Mueller Report to Test Our Unshakable Faith in Collusion’

Unforgivable Sin Now Thought to Be Whiteness

Weird: Everyone Who Attended Bernie Sanders’ Town Hall Has Reported Their Wallet Missing

Teen Driver Glances Up at Road, Nearly Misses Something Cool on Instagram

2 Comments

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2 responses to “Missed It by That Much: Hillary Clinton Almost Wins ‘Wheel of Fortune’ but Then Shouts ‘Easter Worshiper’ Instead of ‘Christian’

  1. chrissythehyphenated

    “As president, I will do everything in my power to hunt down each and every one of these terrorist scumbags, bring them to the U.S., and allow them to vote in our elections,” he said sternly, drawing applause from his supporters. “We believe in democracy, right? We believe in democracy and the right to vote, and if that means I have to use every resource at my disposal to make sure ISIS makes it to the polls, I will do so.”

    “This is America, after all,” he said, wildly flailing his hands about before aides rushed to him and gave him his meds to calm him down.

    LOL!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. chrissythehyphenated

    “Anchors at CNN headquarters have made a bold statement of unwavering faith after the Mueller Report revealed no actual evidence that Trump colluded with Russia. “We believe in collusion with all our hearts and will never let the world’s teachings get in the way of that,” said Jim Acosta while mumbling mantras quietly in a room misty with burning incense.”

    Oh man … ::giggling madly.” I hadn’t thought of it this way, but sheesh, there is WAY more evidence of Jesus’ resurrection than there is of Trump’s collusion!

    Liked by 1 person

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