Democrats Unveil Surefire Plan to Get Trump Reelected In 2020

From The Babylon Bee.

WASHINGTON, D.C.—At a recent press conference, Democrats unveiled an aggressive, surefire plan to ensure Trump gets reelected in 2020.

“Every part of this proposal was designed to make us look absolutely insane, making sure that Trump regains the White House in two years,” said one Democratic lawmaker at the unveiling of the bill. “From far-left radical agenda items to scientifically impossible goals and economic suicide, this plan has it all.”

The bill was specifically designed to turn off everyone in the country except the far left. Architects of the proposal were careful to include crazy ideas like eliminating cars and airplanes, replacing or upgrading every building in the country at taxpayer expense, and handing control of the economy over to the already bloated federal government.

“We’re just doing our part to make sure Trump wins again,” said one Democratic senator. “We did everything we could to get him in the White House in 2016, and we’re gonna do it again.”

At publishing time, Democrats across the country had expressed their support for the proposal, stating they were going to “destroy the country to own President Trump.”

Other stories of questionable veracity from The Babylon Bee:

Facebook to Replace All Reaction Buttons with Pure Outrage

Virginia Democrats Announce They Would Only Resign for a Real Scandal Like Getting Caught Wearing a MAGA Hat

‘We Must Treat the Constitution as if It’s Alive,’ Says Man Who Doesn’t Treat the Unborn That Way

Americans Totally Unable to Remember What They Were Outraged About Last Week

4 Comments

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4 responses to “Democrats Unveil Surefire Plan to Get Trump Reelected In 2020

  1. It’s not easy doing satire in this age where the Enemy is so wonderfully self-satirizing, but the Bee is staying ahead of the curve.

    Have you seen Donny TwoScoops’s latest fund-raising effort for border defense?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. chrissythehyphenated

    “We’re just doing our part to make sure Trump wins again,” said one Democratic senator. “We did everything we could to get him in the White House in 2016, and we’re gonna do it again.” ROFLLL

    Liked by 1 person

  3. chrissythehyphenated

    “Look, let’s try to keep things in perspective here: all we’ve done is wear blackface, advocate for infanticide, and allegedly assault some women,” said Lieutenant Governor Justin Fairfax. “It’s not like we were seen wearing a MAGA hat or something.”

    https://babylonbee.com/news/virginia-democrats-announce-they-will-only-resign-if-theyre-caught-in-a-real-scandal-like-wearing-a-maga-hat

    Liked by 1 person

  4. chrissythehyphenated

    “I vaguely remember something about some kids in a red hat? And there was, like, a Native American dude there? Huh,” said one woman in Portland. “Did somebody get arrested at some point? I think so. I even tweeted about it in a rage, and now I just have no idea what I was mad about.”

    At publishing time, the nation had tuned in to their favorite cable news channels to see what it is they would be foaming at the mouth over this week.

    https://babylonbee.com/news/report-americans-totally-unable-to-remember-what-they-were-upset-about-last-week

    Liked by 1 person