From the Babylon Bee.
Vast Swathes Of Pumpkin Spice Deposits Discovered Beneath Seattle
SEATTLE, WA—Miners working for Starbucks have confirmed an exciting discovery: vast swathes of pumpkin spice buried deep beneath the earth, just under the coffee company’s Seattle headquarters.
The valuable spice is thought to be deposited by giant, killer earthworms known to roam the rocks and dirt throughout the Pacific Northwest. The rare, mesmerizing substance reportedly glows an orangeish hue, and has been described by some as potentially addicting.