For Thee, Not Me

From the Babylon Bee.
Socialist Leaders Clarify: ‘We Only Want Socialism For Everyone Else’

“I’m doing pretty well for myself and don’t need socialism,” Bernie Sanders, who is a member of the one percent and owns multiple houses, explained. “Other people aren’t doing so well, and we should redistribute their wealth amongst each other, but I’m fine as I am.”


Recently, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was criticized for wearing a $3500 outfit in a photo shoot, which seemed a celebration of the luxuries of capitalism that ran counter to her supposed support of socialism. When pressed on it, she seemed confused by the criticism and simply explained, “I like pretty outfits!” She was also asked again how she plans to pay for her $40 trillion in proposals, though she seemed confused by the numbers and simply blurted, “I like pretty outfits!”

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