As Justice Kennedy Retires, Nation Takes Moment to Thank God Hillary Clinton Not President

From The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—After Justice Kennedy announced his retirement Wednesday, the nation took a brief moment to thank the Lord that Hillary Clinton lost the 2016 election, and thus would not be able to select his replacement for the Supreme Court.

The nation acknowledged that it didn’t deserve God’s blessings but thanked Him anyway for sparing them a Clinton presidency.

“Father God, we just want to thank You that Hillary Clinton didn’t win the presidency. We know, Lord, that Trump isn’t ideal either, but hoo boy. That was a close one,” one man said in a special emergency prayer and thanksgiving service held at his church in Kentucky. “You truly are wise and sovereign.”

The nation’s “Never Trump” movement reportedly remained steadfast in its opposition to the president, still being troubled by his policies and lack of moral character, but silently thanked God anyway that “at least that crazy woman didn’t win.”

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Liberals Horrified at Thought of Losing Legal Right to Kill 60 Million More Babies

Resistance Activists Form Angry Mobs Targeting Undesirables in Order to Stop Rise of Nazism

Report: God Still Has No Plans to Retire as Righteous Judge of Universe

DISGUSTING: Fueled by His Hate for Muslims, Trump Went Back in Time and Made Obama Pick the Countries Targeted by His Travel Ban

New ‘Left Behind’ Action Figures Just Empty Boxes

1 Comment

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One response to “As Justice Kennedy Retires, Nation Takes Moment to Thank God Hillary Clinton Not President

  1. Ting

    I thank Him every single day for all my many blessings. And He knows how much I appreciate that HRC is not our POTUS. Oh, boy, does He know!

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