Daily Archives: March 27, 2018

Middle Earth Announces Heavy Tariffs on Narnian Imports

From The Babylon Bee.

MINAS TIRITH, GONDOR—Kicking off a major trade war between the two kingdoms, the Middle-Earth Trade Federation has announced heavy tariffs on the import of Narnian steel, sending the stock market into a freefall Thursday.

Any steel imported from Narnia to Gondor, Rohan, Erebor, or Mirkwood will be subject to a 30% tax. The move is expected to raise the end consumer price of various imported goods significantly, according to expert economists working at Rivendell.

“Trade wars are great, and they’re really easy to win,” the king of Gondor said in a dispatch via carrier pigeon. “If we keep allowing cheap Narnian steel to flood the market, our own blacksmiths won’t be able to be competitive. This act will strengthen our own economies and create hundreds of thousands of jobs, from the Grey Havens to the far reaches of Ithilien.”

Cair Paravel was quick to respond to the aggressive trade maneuver, planning to levy tariffs on exports of Middle-Earth products like lembas bread, magical fireworks, and oliphaunt tusks. The Kings and Queens of Narnia claim the tactic is designed to force the METF to back off their original restrictive tariffs, which they say will harm both universe’s economies.

The move also ratcheted tensions up between the two fictional universes at a time when Mordor is reportedly on the verge of acquiring nuclear weapons, reporters claim.

More stories of questionable veracity from The Babylon Bee:

All-Seeing Eye of Sauron Unveiled at Facebook Headquarters

Democrats Announce All 2020 Candidates Will Forgo Armed Security to Protest Gun Violence

Ultrasound Shows Unborn Baby Holding “Keep Your Laws Off My Body” Sign

“I’m Sorry, Dave — I’m Afraid I Can’t Do That,” Intones Menacing Mark Zuckerberg As Man Attempts to Delete His Facebook Account

Planned Parenthood Workers Breathe Sigh of Relief as Anti-Violence Protesters March Right On By Their Office

Christian Woman Spends 10% of Paycheck at Hobby Lobby in Lieu of Tithing

Larry Boy Confirmed for “Avengers: Infinity War”

“The Message” Now Available in Popular Comic Sans Font

Facebook Reminds Users Its Terms of Service Specifically Allow for Orwellian Social Engineering

Opinion: If You Like to Talk to Tomatoes, Seek Professional Counseling Immediately

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Filed under Funny Stuff

Hits and Mrs.

Grannyism: no matter how thin you slice it, it’s still baloney.

Jeff Flake: “Only Constitutional Remedy” For Trump Firing Mueller is Impeachment
This punk is leaving in January. Until then he intends to be a major pain in the ass.
If the Democrats get Congress back, the first item of business will be impeachment. That’s no secret. They’d have to rush to the Senate before this jerk leaves office for a chance to actually remove him. There’s virtually no chance of that.
Flake, who is not seeking re-election in 2018 but has flirted with a 2020 run for president, joins at least one other high-profile Republican who has brought up the prospect of impeachment should Trump fire Mueller.
“Probably so, if he did it without cause, yeah,” Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C., told radio host Hugh Hewitt when asked if firing Mueller would be an impeachable offense.
http://www.hapblog.com/2018/03/jeff-flake-only-constitutional-remedy.html

Trump: “There’s No Such Thing As A Blue Dog Democrat – They’re All Pelosi Democrats”
IT’S THE TRUTH. THERE ARE NO MODERATE DEMOCRATS ANYMORE. THEY JUST HAVE DIFFERENT PRICE TAGS. THE OBAMACARE VOTE PROVED THAT.

Nevada GOP Rep Rides The ‘Rumor Mill’ To A Possible Paul Ryan Resignation
I WILL PROMISE YOU HERE AND NOW, PAUL RYAN ISN’T GOING ANYWHERE. HIS SEAT IS AS SAFE AS GASOLINE MAXINE’S OUT THERE IN THE L.A. GHETTO.
“If I was just guessing, he wanted to do the tax bill,” said the Nevada Congressman. “You know, John Boehner said the same thing: ‘Hey, when I checked all of the boxes I thought were important and I’m moving on to whatever else.’”
“The speaker is not resigning,” said Ryan spokeswoman AshLee Strong in a Monday statement directly refuting Amodei’s comments.
http://dailycaller.com/2018/03/26/nevada-gop-rep-paul-ryan-resignation/

No, Hillary Clinton: It’s the Red States That Are Dynamic
THIS IS AN EXCELLENT PIECE CO-WRITTEN BY STEPHEN MOORE AND ART LAFFER
While giving a speech in Mumbai, India, Clinton boasted that she “won the places that represent two-thirds of America’s gross domestic product.” She went on: “So I won the places that are optimistic, diverse, dynamic, moving forward.”
The outpouring of residents from blue to red states almost has been one of the biggest demographic stories in American history, with a thousand people making the move every day on average. If you go to states such as Arizona, Florida, Tennessee and Texas these days, you’ll see many blue-state license plates.
https://townhall.com/columnists/stephenmoore/2018/03/27/no-hillary-clinton-its-the-red-states-that-are-dynamic-n2464886

Obama: I Hope to Create ‘A Million Young Barack Obamas’

WHY WON’T HE JUST GO AWAY??
“If I could do that effectively, then I would create a hundred or a thousand or a million young Barack Obamas or Michelle Obamas, the next group of people who could take that baton in that relay race that is human progress and continue to build on the work that we have done,” Obama said.
http://freebeacon.com/politics/obama-i-hope-to-create-a-million-young-barack-obamas/

Holder group will fight citizenship question on census
HOW DARE THEY ASK IF CITIZENS ARE CITIZENS!
A Democratic group headed by former U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder will go to court over a decision by the Commerce Department to include a question about citizenship on the 2020 census.
“We will litigate to stop the Administration from moving forward with this irresponsible decision,” Holder said. “The addition of a citizenship question to the census questionnaire is a direct attack on our representative democracy.”
http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/380398-holder-group-will-fight-citizenship-question-on-census

Calif. sheriff revolts against Sanctuary State law with bold new move
As of Monday, the Orange County Sheriff’s Department’s online inmate database includes the date and time of a prisoner’s release, a change that agency officials say will improve communication with federal law enforcement partners.
While the database will include release dates for all inmates, not just illegal immigrants, the newly public information is aimed at helping Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) take removable criminal aliens into custody after they serve local jail time.
https://www.bizpacreview.com/2018/03/27/calif-sheriff-revolts-against-sanctuary-state-law-with-bold-new-move-617860

Kathy Griffin to Attend White House Correspondents’ Dinner
THEY REALLY THINK THE PRESIDENT WOULD GET DOWN IN THE GUTTER WITH THIS TWO BIT TRAMP?
Deadline confirmed, “A potential showdown looms next month between comedian Kathy Griffin and President Donald Trump.” The extremely vocal comedienne has tried to make a comeback in her field with her provocative international tours titled “Laugh Your Head Off.” Recently, she announced several shows in the United States, and sold out tickets to her show in Carnegie Hall.
https://www.newsbusters.org/blogs/culture/corinne-weaver/2018/03/26/yikes-kathy-griffin-attend-white-house-correspondents-dinner

Man on the Street: March For Our Lives Protesters Call For Confiscation of Guns
Ban them, fine the people who own them, confiscate them. That’s just a few.
THESE IDIOTS DON’T HAVE A CLUE

Gohmert: Massive Omnibus Bill Could Cost Republicans the Majority

IF THE VOTERS HAND CONGRESS OVER TO THE DEMOCRATS TO TEACH THE REPUBLICANS A LESSON IT’S DEAD BANG CERTAIN THAT THE DEMS WILL TRY TO UNDO EVERYTHING TRUMP HAS ACCOMPLISHED.
“I’m afraid this could end up costing us the majority, in which case you will have total new leadership in the House,” Gohmert said of the budget signed by Trump last Friday. “I don’t know, the Senate likes to hang onto their bad leadership no matter what happens, but it would probably mean new leadership there.”
http://freebeacon.com/politics/gohmert-massive-omnibus-bill-cost-republicans-majority/

This Budget Was Designed to End the Trump Presidency
“Well, I’m telling you, it’s the deep state, I don’t care where you go, it’s the establishment trying to get rid of Donald Trump any which way they can.
You know what? There isn’t gonna be a wall and there isn’t gonna be anything serious on immigration and so having Trump be president is meaningless.”
That’s what this budget is designed to make you think, but after it’s signed into law. It’s 2,200 pages. There is no way anybody could have read all of it and digested it in the limited time they had before the vote.
https://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2018/03/23/cant-sign-budget-mr-president/

The Nuclear Option — Collapsing News Network: CNN, MSM Hope Raunchy Sex Scandal Ends Trump

ALL DURING THE CLINTON YEARS WE WERE TOLD ‘IT WAS ONLY SEX’; IT WAS A PRIVATE MATTER; HE CAN GET ORAL SEX FROM A 22-YEAR-OLD AND STILL SCREW THE COUNTRY.
Frustrated, exhausted and completely out of ideas, the Grand Cyclops of the Washington Swamp has finally resorted to the only thing that has resulted in a presidential impeachment since Reconstruction: a raunchy sex scandal.
So they dredge up old stories from President Trump’s colorful past as a tabloid titan, real-estate showman and reality-TV star. Old stories — stories that keep evolving and remain unverified — about alleged affairs from long before he ever got into politics.
http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2018/03/26/nuclear-option-collapsing-news-network-cnn-msm-hope-raunchy-sex-scandal-ends-trump/

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Filed under Barack Obama, Democrats, Donald Trump, Eric Holder, Gun Control, Immigration, Jeff Flake, Louie Gohmert, News Media, Paul Ryan, Republicans

Placeholder Humor

Have some things to do this AM after my morning nap. Will post later. For now, here are some dog and cat funnies for your viewing pleasure.

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