Filed under Funny Stuff
While many chortles were had on this collection (haha! the contrasting apartment door signs), I especially liked the 1040 (had to pop it up in another tab and magnify, but totes worth it).
(Did I just use “totes” unironically? Help me!)
I read some Legislator wants to demand Tide make their pods not so delicious-looking. As if it were being mistaken for candy by children, as opposed to being eaten by idiots for YouTube clicks!
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All I can say is those knuckleheads who are eating Tide pods obviously didn’t have mothers who washed their mouths out with soap whenever they said naughty words. I suffered this unspeakably cruel punishment multiple times in my youth, and I have never forgotten how horrible soap tastes, nor how difficult it is to rid one’s mouth of the taste afterwards. Everyone who has ever watched me wash dishes laughs at how carefully and thoroughly (and yes, obsessively) I rinse everything under running water, but there’s a good reason for it — I know what soap tastes like.
Gotta ask: Ivory, Lava, or (shudder!) Irish Spring? 😉
Never got the soapy mouth treatment, but, then, as 4th of 5 kids, I learned by watching what got the older ones in trouble, and how not to get punished. I was a good boy, but still got the business end of Dad’s belt a couple of times, just because. But no soap.
I didn’t really bust out in bad words, anyway, until the day at the lake when my step-brother threw a huge rock that didn’t make it to the lake but landed instead smack on top of my head. It was like a door opened. I said words I didn’t even know I knew. (With grown-ups within earshot, no less.) Somehow, on that one, I got a pass.
The thing about language was that I didn’t always know what would set my mother off. There were some words I could say and get nothing harsher than a verbal reprimand, and others that would send her into a fit of righteous indignation. We all knew we were NEVER allowed to say “gosh,” “golly,” “gee,” “darn,” “heck,” or anything of that nature (let alone the retail version of any of those words)… but beyond that, it was a little murky. I never knew I had transgressed until my mother got out the soap.
It’s taken me days to get to a reply on this, but I’ve thought of it every day since you posted it.
What you went through is unjust, I deem. I know I got a few undeserved whoopin’s, but I understood what they thought I had done, even if I hadn’t. Like all justice, Parental Justice is best when swift and sure, but the sure part requires knowing where the boundaries are.
I’m glad our Bluebird emerged from your trials.
My family had a, um, live-in nursemaid or something for a while, after my little sister was born, and as a fine upstanding Christian woman she would never say a bad word.
She did, however, frequently employ the variant “Oh, shoot a blue bean!”
GRAB THE SOAP!
😀 😀 😀
Um, after my previous comment, I immediately next found this: TruthRevolt says Schumer wanted to eat a Tide pod.
So we must have Moor Lawz!
Some people worry about non-allergenic laundry materials, others willingly ingest poison. Is being in a free country great, or what? 🙄
I wish Tide would slip some chemical into their laundry pods that caused permanent sterility in anyone who ingested them, so these idiots would be removing themselves from the gene pool.
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