Rich Young Ruler Finds Home at Lakewood Church

From The Babylon Bee.

HOUSTON, TX—A rich young ruler looking for salvation was proud to announce Wednesday that he finally found a place to call home at Lakewood Church.

Calling the revelation “powerful” and “moving,” the wealthy, powerful lover of money said he knew Lakewood Church was the place for him after his lifestyle was affirmed and praised by lead pastor and famous author Joel Osteen.

“This place just makes me feel so comfortable,” the man told reporters. “I came in and told Pastor Joel I was a good person and had kept all the commandments from my youth, and asked him what I still lacked—and do you know what he said? He told me I didn’t lack anything, that I was great just the way I am.”

The young man further stated that other churches had tried to confront his love of money and challenged him to make Jesus his first priority, and that he had just gone away sad.

“That’s not what Jesus would have done,” he said confidently.

More from The Babylon Bee:

Thousands Miraculously Fed at Church Potluck with Just Five Dinner Rolls, Two Tuna Casseroles

Local Man Declares Self Tax-Exempt as Temple of the Holy Spirit

Progressive Pastor Spends Entire Sermon Apologizing for What Bible Says

Awana Olympian Disqualified After Testing Positive for Mountain Dew

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One response to “Rich Young Ruler Finds Home at Lakewood Church

  1. WWJC

    What Would Jesus Charge


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