Daily Archives: January 11, 2018

Mayor Declares Chicago Crime-Free Zone, Criminals Disperse

From The Babylon Bee.

CHICAGO, IL—Immediately upon Mayor Rahm Emanuel’s recent declaration of the entire city of Chicago as an official “crime-free zone,” every criminal in the city suddenly and miraculously left the urban area, according to a statement released by the city council.

“We declare every part of the city of Chicago a crime-free zone,” Emanuel announced in a Thursday appearance on CBS This Morning. “It is now physically impossible for any crime to be committed in our great city, because we declared it a zone of peace and harmony and criminals have no choice but to abide by our new rule.”

Emanuel claimed he didn’t want to resort to such extreme legislative measures, but as the crime situation in Chicago didn’t seem to be getting any better, his hand was forced.

“I finally decided to use the strongest weapon at our disposal: declaring things illegal,” he said.

Stunned onlookers claim the second the legislation banning any criminals from the city was signed into law, dangerous gangsters, conniving drug dealers, and thieving hooligans fled the city on foot, as though compelled by some kind of strange, alien force.

“Witness the awesome power of declaring things to be banned and watching them instantly disappear into nothingness!” Emanuel said.

At publishing time, Governor Jerry Brown had taken a page from Emanuel’s book, declaring Hollywood a “perversion-free” zone and immediately ending all ongoing sex scandals in the city.

Also from The Babylon Bee:

In Historic Compromise, Border Wall To Be Built Around Hollywood

Man Bravely Abandons Unpopular Christian Belief to Affirm Extremely Popular Cultural Belief

Biblical Age of Accountability Raised to 30 for Millennials

Nation’s Progressives Suddenly in Favor of Electing TV Personalities as President


Filed under Funny Stuff

Rose Cottage

Mama Buzz asked me to pretty please put my miniatures on Facebook. I did one, Rose Cottage. It took hours and hours, so this is all you’re getting out of me today! LOL

Rose Cottage a full front

LINK to the Facebook album@


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