Daily Archives: December 20, 2017

Checking in with Los Feliz

Los Feliz Daycare (motto: “We do not accept immunized children”) is an ultra-progressive child care center in an unspecified affluent neighborhood on the left coast. Some recent tweets:

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DEMOCRAT SPEECHES: “Republicans just want you to die!”

“Republicans Pass Tax Reform, Everyone DEAD” by Ben Shapiro

Wednesday dawned to the horrifying cacophony of howling dogs mourning their dead masters – men, women and children killed in a mass slaughter by the Senate’s passage of a rather ordinary tax bill from the Republicans. Yes, the Republicans had been warned that their plan would cause a symphony of darkness to play across the land. They’d been warned that the streets would be strewn with bodies. Worse, they’d been warned that those dead people would then move to Chicago and vote Democratic.

But even Republicans, who are also dead, were shocked to find themselves inhabiting the bowels of Hell – in particular, inhabiting a special place therein reserved for women who did not vote for Hillary Clinton and voters who did not stand with Roy Moore.

And all of this thanks to President Trump, who had pitched the tax cut by stating that he merely wanted what was best in life: to crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

It is somewhat awkward writing this piece from the afterlife. It’s even more awkward writing this for a news site that exists on the internet – you remember, the internet, that thing that used to exist before Republicans repealed net neutrality, resulting in the annihilation of entire populations and the end of the internet itself.

And it’s supremely awkward to write it from underwater, given that President Trump’s decision to withdraw from the Paris Accords doomed huge cities to the realm of Aquaman.

What makes things even crazier is that everything is on fire despite being underwater, since Trump’s decision to move the American embassy to Jerusalem angered the Arab street so much.

By my count, I’ve died several dozen times since President Trump’s election, according to the warnings issued by media and Democrats. Yet I’ve never been able to rest in peace, because dead Republicans just keep on passing legislation that affects dead Americans and dead Democrats and dead media members keep resisting dead Donald Trump.

It turns out that the afterlife looks exactly like regular life.

Except, of course, that Justin Bieber hasn’t released any new songs in the Great Beyond. So that’s nice.

https://www.dailywire.com/news/24892/hey-where-everybody-republicans-pass-tax-reform-ben-shapiro

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Filed under Ben Shapiro, Democrats, Republicans, Taxes, U.S. Congress

Clinton Approvals Hit Lowest Ever

2016 Clintons half off toon by Branco

2017_12 Bill Clinton GALLUP2017_12 Hilary Clinton GALLUP

 

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Filed under Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Polls

Tax Reform

2017 Tax cuts toon by Branco

Stilton was in fine form:

Despite the good the tax reform plan might do for their voters, Democrats are unanimously opposed because some cuts go to those who pay the vast majority of taxes (the Evil Rich, who should more properly be hung like piñatas and beaten with sticks until they explode in a shower of bloodstained wealth) and other cuts go to corporations to encourage them to produce more employment. And if there’s one thing Democrats hate, it’s jobs.

On Monday, Nancy Pelosi, who has previously praised unemployment for giving people the free time to become artists, writers, philosophers, or meth addicts, was scheduled to speak before a huge rally of angry anti-tax reform protesters. Hilariously, so few people showed up (about two dozen) that Pelosi simply blew off the protesters – perhaps to spend time with her accountant figuring out how the new tax rates will affect middle-class taxpayers like her who have approximately $200 million in assets thanks to “putting a little aside each month” and clipping coupons.

Democrats are universally against the tax reform simply because Republicans, and particularly Donald Trump, are for it. Because the last thing they want to see for the next three years is America and Americans (of all economic levels) succeeding.

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Filed under Democrats, Donald Trump, Economy, Nancy Pelosi, Republicans, Taxes

Alabama Voter Fraud?

2016 Voter fraud toon by Branco

Alabama Secretary of State John Merrill has decided to launch an investigation into possible voter fraud in last week’s Senate special election that saw Democrat Doug Jones defeat Republican Roy Moore.

The decision came after an interview with a person on FOX10, in which a jubilant Jones supporter told a reporter, “We came here all the way from different parts of the country as part of our fellowship, and all of us pitched in to vote and canvas together, and we got our boy elected!”

SOS Merrill said he is trying to find out who the man is, and if he really meant what he said, or if he only misspoke.

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Filed under Elections, Vote Fraud

A return to principled realism

2017_09 Obama vs Trump doctrines

President Trump formally unveiled his Administration’s National Security Strategy (NSS).

The main points are:

  • Protect the homeland, the American people, and the American way of life
  • Promote American prosperity
  • Preserve peace through strength
  • Advance American influence

At 65 pages, the NSS will serve as the foundation for more granular security plans, including the National Counterterrorism Strategy, the Nuclear Posture Review, and the Ballistic Missile Defense Review.

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Filed under Donald Trump, National Security

Kids Write to Santa… Hilarity Ensues

‘Enough chit-chat, Santa, let’s get down to business’

As excited boys and girls pen their messages to Santa and his reindeer, the festive tradition can throw up some rather unusual requests.

While some kids adopt a flattering or pleading tone with Santa, others take a more aggressive stance as they order Father Christmas to fulfil their wishes

WORLD PEACE AND BEER…AT LEAST THE KID HAS HIS PRIORITIES STRAIGHT

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5185963/Hilarious-letters-pushy-kids-writing-Santa.html

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Filed under Funny Stuff, Holidays