Sexual Revolution Working Out Great, Reports Nation Full of Perverts

From The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—The aftermath of the sexual revolution is working out just splendidly, reported a nation filled with perverts, pedophiles, and sexual predators Friday afternoon.

The country currently reaping the consequences of decades of declining sexual morals reported it would do it all over again in a heartbeat, further stating that it was “really proud” of the progress it had made over the past fifty years. When asked about the numerous scandals, controversies, and painful repercussions of the sexual revolution coming to light in recent months, nearly every person in the nation confirmed it was “feeling great” about the sexual revolution and its insidious consequences.

“This is fine—totally fine,” one political commentator on NBC filling in for Matt Lauer said. “I think the sexual revolution is working out just great, and I’m proud to live in the US where we’re uninhibited by outdated ideas about human relationships, like monogamy and faithfulness.”

According to the country with dozens of famous celebrities, television pundits, and politicians currently embroiled in sexual scandals, the sexual revolution was a necessary period that allowed the nation to throw off the outdated, restricted shackles of religion and biblical morality.

“I really pity all those backward parts of the world that haven’t had the privilege of experiencing their own sexual revolution,” one politician said as he checked Twitter to see if his own personal indiscretions had been revealed yet. “One day, they’ll be enlightened too.”

Related:

Entirety of Congress to Preemptively Resign over Sexual Improprieties

Unrelated:

Church Solves Tardiness Problem by Volunteering All Latecomers to Children’s Ministry

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Sexual Revolution Working Out Great, Reports Nation Full of Perverts

  1. chrissythehyphenated

    I came here to post this, but Bob beat me to it! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. red

    there is a note of macabre humor in all of this. It started out with accusations against Judge Moore and Trump. Prior to that, any black conservative was lynched by the liberals. It’s on par with Kids for Cash. Luzerne County, PA judges sold children to out-of-state juvenile halls. For one cuss word, the police would take a child to court and the parents wound up paying 16K to support the child. A very lucrative scam with one-party rule. But, the irony is, the dnc locals demanded the FBI investigate two (sole, only) Repubs who ran for office in the county and won. The FBI did it’s job and the two were ruined financially tho they came up clean. Not satisfied, the dems then demanded they be investigated again! This time, the FBI agents started to do a little ex-office investigation of their own and came up with slavery. It was so rotted into society, people were terrified to protest. After a few years of investigations, both judges are in prison, along with almost a hundred other dem politicians. And the dnc is right back in power, along with Gov Wolf, who has plenty of underworld contentions. BTW, a dem judge passed a ruling the two other judges could not be sued, tho one teenager committed suicide after being beaten and worse in a distant state juvvie hall.

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