You complain about long lines and lousy service at the post office and the DMV, but you’re sure our health care system would work better if government ran it.
You think that raising taxes on cigarettes will lead to less smoking, and raising taxes on gasoline will lead to less driving… but scoff at the notion that raising the minimum wage would result in less employment.
You deplore cultural appropriation by white women who wear their hair in dreadlocks, but think it’s fine when black women straighten their hair or color it blonde.
You support a mandatory minimum wage because employers are stingy and greedy, while also believing that employers pay men more than women for doing the same job.
You think Christianity is inherently violent and Islam is a religion of peace.
You think the United States is unjust, oppressive, tyrannical, and downright nasty, and you favor open borders so everyone who wants to come to the U.S. can do so.
You believe the Violence Against Women Act is necessary because women need protection from men, but you favor the armed forces putting women into combat.
You think sexual orientation is immutable but gender is fluid.
You think a 12-year-old should be able to have an abortion without telling her parents… while also believing that Happy Meals shouldn’t contain toys because children are immature and make poor choices.
You approve of U.S. citizens undergoing rigorous background checks before purchasing firearms, but you think foreign refugees should be allowed to enter the U.S. without any vetting.
You believe that cops kill black people deliberately but Muslims kill Jews by accident.
You believe that one in four female college students will be victims of sexual assault… yet you favor allowing biological males to use women’s locker rooms.
You oppose the death penalty for convicted murderers but favor it for unborn children.
If white people move out of an urban neighborhood, you call it “white flight” and blame it on racism; if white people move into an urban neighborhood, you call it “gentrification” and blame it on racism.
You can find a right to abortion in the 14th Amendment, but you can’t find a right to bear arms in the 2nd.
You can detect the secret motivations of conservatives, Christians, and anyone else who has the effrontery to disagree with you… but you’re clueless as to what motivates militant Islamists who make no secret of their motives.
You think guns are evil, and can’t see why anyone should have one… but if an intruder were trying to break into your home, the first thing you would do would be to call someone with a gun.
You think burning the American flag is free speech, protected by the First Amendment… but if anyone burned a rainbow flag, you would consider it a hate crime.
You consider reparative therapy for gays to be a human rights abuse, tantamount to torture… but you consider gender reassignment surgery to be a fundamental human right, and think it should be provided free of charge to anyone who wants it.
If an undercover reporter documents abuses in the farming industry, you want the farmers responsible for it to go to prison; if an undercover reporter documents abuses in the abortion industry, you want the reporter to go to prison.
You applaud fashion designers who refuse to design for Melania Trump… but you think florists, bakers, and photographers who choose not to provide services for same-sex weddings should lose their businesses, their homes, and their life savings.
You say that men aren’t qualified to have an opinion on the legality of abortion, since men can’t get pregnant… conveniently forgetting that abortion was legalized by seven men on the Supreme Court.
You think Hillary Clinton should be president because she won the popular vote… but if Hillary had won the electoral vote and Trump had won the popular vote, you would think Hillary should be president because she won the electoral vote.