EPIC WHINE: Senator Cory Booker is whining about Republicans shoving their health insurance bill “down our throats.” Senator Booker, sir, have you forgotten about that time when you Democrats shoved YOUR health insurance bill OUR throats?
EPIC FAIL: Rachel Maddow reported that she had obtained two pages from Trump’s 2005 return. Viewers hoping to hear some dirt on Trump were disappointed, since the pages showed he had paid 25% of his income in taxes that year. Barack Obama paid 18.7% in 2015. Bernie Sanders paid 13.5% in 2014. BTW, it is totally illegal to publish someone’s tax return without his permission.
EPIC VILE: Some feminists, who have apparently misplaced whatever once passed as their souls, staged a mock abortion in front of a church in Argentina. A woman dressed as the Virgin Mary spread her legs and pumped her fist as two other women spilled fake blood and body parts on to the pavement.
EPIC DOLT: An old surveillance video has been released showing Ferguson police shooting victim Michael Brown overseeing a drug deal. CNN New Day host Chris Cuomo insisted that just because Brown was seen dealing drugs didn’t mean he was a drug dealer. Uhh, yes, Chris. It kinda does.