Below is just part of the post at Hope ‘n Change, which has been somewhat modified by CtH. You can see the original in full at the URL below.
JANUARY: John “You Rang?” Kerry downgraded our nation’s goal from “destroying, degrading, or disrupting” the maniacal killers to merely “denting” them. He apparently hopes to make Hillary look like only the second worst Secretary of State ever.
FEBRUARY: Beloved conservative Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia suddenly dies. Obama decides to skip Scalia’s funeral owing to an absolutely unavoidable scheduling conflict involving a critical tee time.
MARCH: A series of deadly explosions rocked Brussels, targeting the Belgian capital’s main airport and metro system. ISIS claimed responsibility. Rather than doing diddly-squat about the carnage in Brussels, Obama attended a baseball game with new BFF Raul Castro, then jetted off to Argentina where he performed a stiff and rather bloodless tango at a state dinner.
APRIL: The tone deaf president assembles a group of allegedly popular rappers to help with his “Brother’s Keeper” initiative which aims to keep young minority men out of the criminal justice system. During the president’s remarks, rapper Rick Ross’s court-ordered ankle bracelet went off. It turns out that the man selected by Mr. Obama to serve as an exemplary racial role model was required to wear the device until his trial date for aggravated assault and battery, pistol-whipping, and kidnapping. According to Rolling Stone, other role models at the meeting included Ludacris (left album graphic) and Nicki Minaj (right album graphic).
MAY: By a significant margin, Hoosiers go to the polls to declare that they find Trump to be the candidate who is outstanding in the field. And trust us, Indiana folk (like us!) love jokes about fields. Cruz drops out of the race, practically guaranteeing Trump’s nomination.
JUNE: On June 12, 2016, Omar Mateen shot and killed 49 people and wounded 53 others at a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida. During the shooting, Mateen called 911 and swore allegiance to ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi. After a three-hour standoff, Mateen was shot and killed by police.
Here’s the rest.
JANUARY: “I think that by the end of 2016, our goal of very seriously denting Daesh in Iraq and Syria and of trying to have an impact on Mosul (in Iraq) and Raqa (in Syria) will be achieved,” Kerry told reporters on the sidelines of the World Economic Forum in Davos, using an alternative name for ISIS.
FEBRUARY: Obama had no public schedule on the day of Scalia’s funeral. The last Supreme Court justice to die in office was Chief Justice William Rehnquist in 2005. President George W. Bush gave the eulogy at his funeral.
MARCH: After delivering brief remarks on the terrorist attacks, Obama went to a baseball game. He defended his decision, saying to cancel would have played into the terrorists’ hands. “The whole premise of terrorism is to try to disrupt people’s ordinary lives.” Plus, you know, baseball. Then, Obama went to Argentina where he danced a tango with a professional dancer. While Stilton referred to this as “pelvis grinding”, I noticed the president kept a LOT of air between his pelvis and his partner’s. Well, Michelle was there, after all. And we saw in 2013, when they attended Nelson Mandela’s funeral (yes, he did go to THAT funeral), how she reacted to him getting too flirty with another woman. Pelvis grinding? Not gonna happen.
APRIL: The ankle monitor thing actually happened.