Nation Shocked, Horrified As Christians Hold Christian Position

From The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—Reports from around the nation Thursday indicate that millions of American citizens were still reeling from the revelation that a prominent Christian couple holds a historically Christian position.

“We’re not saying people can’t be Christians,” a Seattle woman said in a Facebook comment. “This is a free country, after all. But when Christians decide to actually have Christian beliefs about things—I’m sorry, that’s just too far.”

A man in Denver agreed, stating that he prided himself on his deep appreciation of and support for freedom of beliefs and religious tolerance, “so long as Christians don’t publicly hold opinions I find disagreeable.”

“It’s almost as if they take the Bible seriously or something,” he added, shaking his head.

This revelation comes on the heels of a national Gallup poll released earlier this week indicating that over 95% of Americans agreed with the statement, “Christians are allowed to practice their beliefs, as long as everyone agrees with them.”


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5 responses to “Nation Shocked, Horrified As Christians Hold Christian Position

  1. chrissythehyphenated

    In other “news” at Babylon Bee: Junior Asparagus arrested on drug charges!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Some important context here: If you’ve ever watched the previous, ubiquitous househunter TV shows on HGTV, you would have noticed that something like 40% of all the couples they put on the show are gay/lesbian couples. It’s way out of proportion to the percentage in the population. Gruntessa watches that stuff a lot, but she frequently complains that it gets old how often they put gay couples on there. It just makes you roll your eyes. Not that they’re uninteresting people. It’s jut stupid to push it that far.

    So, one has to ask if that’s not the REAL reason this couple is getting criticized. “Other shows have 40%. What’s YOUR excuse???” It matters not that their show is still within the rough percentage of the population, which is like 1%. After their 100th show, maybe they could consider whether they’re being fair enough.

    Liked by 1 person