Bill Gates Is Full of S*it

Chcken s*it, that is.

Keep CHICKENS if you want a better life, billionaire Bill Gates tells poor people
Super-rich Microsoft founder claims ‘anyone living in extreme poverty is better off if they have chickens’

“I’ve met many people in poor countries who raise chickens, and I have learned a lot about the ins and outs of owning these birds,” he wrote.

“It’s pretty clear to me that just about anyone who’s living in extreme poverty is better off if they have chickens.”

Growing up on a farm, the first chore I can remember was throwing scratch to the chickens. Scratch is a term for material like eggshell fragments that they store in their gizzards to help grind up grain, bugs, whatever they eat. They’re not particular when it comes to diet. Granddad used to determine if eggs were fertile by holding them to a candle. I was never sure exactly how. I can tell you in order to raise chicks you need a rooster (makes sense.) From what I read, one male per 15-20 hens is about the limit. They’re not studs.

We had what we called ‘sitting hens’ that would incubate eggs until they hatched. Grandpa built nesting boxes, like P.O. boxes
where they laid their eggs. I was about six when I started gathering. Most hens would let you reach under them and take the eggs. We had one hen that was extremely belligerent. She’d ruffle her neck feathers and dare me to try to put my hand under her. One of the worst parts of the job was taking the eggs in the basement and using sandpaper to scrape the poop off the eggs, because they weren’t always particular where they left them. Anybody who has had farm-fresh eggs or eaten chickens raised in a barnyard on natural feed can tell you there is no comparison to what is available in stores.

The bottom line is Gates should stick to making millions of dollars a day. It’s not as easy to raise chickens as one might think. People who are starving aren’t particularly interested in poultry husbandry. They eat whatever they can find. Ask Venezuelans.

Some fun facts:

Raising Chickens 101: Collecting, Cleaning, and Storing Chicken Eggs

Chickens like to eat eggs as much as we do. Most egg-eaters learn on broken eggs and then begin to break eggs themselves. Chickens are opportunists and will pick at whatever looks edible. If you clean up broken eggs immediately and throw out any “eggy” straw or shavings, you can prevent egg-eating. A chicken that learns this habit can’t be cured, and others may follow her lead. You don’t want the chickens eating your eggs—you want them yourself!

A cooking tip: To make deviled eggs, use week-old or older eggs, not this morning’s. The shells of really fresh eggs stick rather than peel cleanly.

Farm chickens can live 4 to 7 years and lay eggs for most of that time. Every year they go “off-lay” (stop laying eggs) for several months. This happens over the winter, when there’s too little daylight to trigger egg-laying. They’ll begin again in the spring.
http://www.almanac.com/blog/raising-chickens/raising-chickens-101-collecting-cleaning-and-storing-chicken-eggs

THIS IS A RHODE ISLAND RED

THE WHITE CHICKEN IS A LEGHORN,THE MOST COMMON BREED.
THE ROOSTER HAS A SPUR ON IT’S HEEL,MUCH LIKE A TURKEY. THESE ARE WHAT WE RAISED.

RAISING ANY KIND OF LIVESTOCK TAKES A LOT OF KNOWLEDGE TO BE SUCCESSFUL.
(AND YOU THOUGHT YOU WEREN’T GOING TO LEARN ANYTHING TODAY.)

OK….NOW THE FUNNY STUFF

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funny-chicken-quotes003
How-to-catch-a-chicken

ACTUALLY,YOU CAN CATCH A CHICKEN. WE USED A COAT HANGER STRAIGHTENED OUT WITH A CROOK AT THE END LIKE A SHEPHERD’S STAFF TO HOOK A LEG AS THEY RUN FOR THEIR LIVES. WITHOUT IT, YOU HAVE NO PRAYER OF CATCHING ONE.

This-chicken-is-so-black---meme

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2 Comments

Filed under Bill Gates, Funny Stuff

2 responses to “Bill Gates Is Full of S*it

  1. Hilarious, Pete! Loved it!

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  2. In the small town where I live, it was illegal until just a few years ago to keep chickens inside the city limits. I always thought it was a stupid law, since it’s legal to keep dogs, many of which are much larger and noisier than chickens, and at least as messy. And it’s perfectly legal to keep birds that are purely ornamental, such as parrots and canaries, so why the prohibition on birds that are useful? Well, a coalition of pro-chicken citizens got together a few years ago and lobbied the city council relentlessly until it finally lifted the prohibition, and now it’s legal to keep chickens inside the city limits. The victorious pro-chicken people started a Facebook group to share information and helpful tips on where to buy feed and equipment, etc. I was not motivated enough to start keeping chickens myself (I have my hands full already and don’t need any more projects), but I really wanted fresh, all-natural eggs from free-range chickens… so I joined the Facebook group and asked if any of the chicken-keepers in town had surplus eggs they’d like to sell. I got a response almost immediately from a very nice couple in town, and have been buying eggs from them ever since. I’ve gotten so used to opening the egg carton and seeing twelve eggs of all different sizes and colors that it looks downright weird to me now when I see eggs from the grocery store that are all identical.

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