Literal vs. Figurative

This is a little side trip into some examples of people who take literal way too seriously. To those of us who are sticklers for grammar and punctuation (Bluebird and myself, in particular), this is a little relief from the angst of bearing witness to lesser individuals’ feeble attempts at communicating properly. Hope you get a few smiles before todays descent into inanity.

The most literal-minded people on the planet: Photos show what happens when people follow instructions to the word

One man kept his phone ‘under watch’, by putting it under his wristwatch
When met with the sign ‘Draw Bridge’, a creative man produced a sketch









http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3525154/Well-read-instructions-Hilarious-photos-happens-people-orders-literally.html#ixzz4545OWLNJ

NOW, DON’T YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF?

12 Comments

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12 responses to “Literal vs. Figurative

  1. Pistol Pete

    DWS quickly morphs to martyr after jaw dropping question on Sanders: I absorb the body blows
    Debbie Wasserman Schultz assumed a role out of character for the typically caustic and belligerent chairwoman of the Democratic National Committee — she played the martyr.

    POOR,POOR DEBBIE DOWNER.I USED TO THINK SHE ACTED LIKE A COMPLETE TOOL.THEN I REALIZED IT WAS NO ACT.
    During her appearance on Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show” Monday, host Trevor Noah asked if the party was “c**k-blocking” Sen. Bernie Sanders on behalf of his rival for the Democratic presidential nomination, Hillary Clinton.

    Schultz, who’s also a south Florida congresswoman, seemed more than a little uncomfortable as she deflected the question.

    “The reality is, is I have a job as the national party chair that is, one that requires a thick skin, it requires me to be able to absorb the body blows so our candidates can stay above the fray.”
    http://www.bizpacreview.com/2016/04/05/dws-quickly-morphs-to-martyr-after-jaw-dropping-question-on-sanders-i-absorb-the-body-blows-325537

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  2. Pistol Pete

    IRS Denied Tax-Exempt Status to 57 Religious Groups in 2015

    THIS BAG OF BASTARDS IS A BIG REASON OBAMA SKATED BACK IN 2012
    The IRS rejected a total of 67 applications for tax-exempt status in 2015, and religious groups comprised the majority of denials. There were 92,653 total applications by religious and charitable groups in 2015. Of those applications, 86,915 were approved, 57 were denied, and 5,681 were left in limbo
    The IRS is playing the ‘delay game’—keeping these organizations guessing about the status of their applications and ultimately whether their applications will be approved,” said Sekulow. “I think that keeping people hanging in the balance can be as destructive as an outright denial because lengthy delays can stop the momentum that many of these start-up groups experienced.

    “Lengthy delays may not only sap the momentum of a group, it produces a chilling effect on the constitutionally protected speech,” he said.

    The IRS did not respond to requests details regarding the 57 denied applications or the 5,681 applications that have neither been approved nor denied.
    http://freebeacon.com/issues/irs-denied-tax-exempt-status-57-religious-groups-2015/

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    • There’s so many angles to this story I’m gettin’ woozy …

      1) Why are ANY organizations tax-exempt? Churches, 501(c)s, non-profits, everybody’s gotta get skin in the game. If the argument is that churches will lose the gravy train if their parishioners don’t get a tax break, that’s a sad commentary on those parishioners.

      2) Abolish the IRS. ‘Nuff said, to quote the inimitable Stan Lee. If FedGuv is in the business of picking winners and losers, welcome to Mother Russia.

      3) 5,681 pending applications? I’ve never seen a more obvious statistic revealing government inefficiency and insouciance. That alone should be sufficient argument to tear it all down and start over.

      4) Were all 57 denials really only religious groups, or was Norman Figglebottom’s House of Pancakes and Tire Rotation tucked in there somewhere? And which religious groups? Some guy who worships his cat, who just doesn’t wanna pay taxes? (though I can’t blame him for trying).

      I was pulled for an audit four years in a row under Obama (never prior), so I hate the IRS. I’m not sure we’ve got all the facts yet.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Pistol Pete

    Morning Joe’s Lame Hillary Interview: No Email, No Transcripts, Should Bernie Get Out?


    Did Huma vet the questions in advance . . . or maybe write them? Talk about your weak, servile interview. This was pitiful. Given the chance to interview Hillary Clinton on today’s Morning Joe, Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski failed to ask a single tough question. Nothing about the email scandal. Nothing about the transcripts of her big-dollar speeches to Wall Street. Nothing about having lost seven of the last eight races to Bernie Sanders.
    http://newsbusters.org/blogs/nb/mark-finkelstein/2016/04/06/morning-joes-lame-hillary-interview-no-email-no-transcripts

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  4. Pistol Pete

    Gap Kids Ad Deemed Racist For Having Short White Girl Lean On Taller Black Girl…


    The ad was meant to be cute and empowering while selling Gap’s new line of athletic kid’s clothes, but many people took issue with the fact that the only black girl featured in the ad, in one photo, is essentially used as an “armrest” by her older, taller troupe member:
    “It becomes problematic when the black child is positioned to be a white child’s prop,” explained Kirsten West Savali of The Root, in the wake of the controversy.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/why-backlash-to-this-racist-gap-ad-is-complicated_us_57027254e4b0daf53af01148?utm_hp_ref=black-voices&

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  5. Pistol Pete

    Any One Of These Four Laws Could Put Hillary, Aides In Jail

    WON’T HAPPEN.PERIOD.
    NOT TODAY,NOT TOMORROW,NOT EVER.BOOK IT.

    Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton and key aides are vulnerable to three felony charges and one misdemeanor count under the Espionage Act because of the unauthorized transfer of classified documents to her private email server, former national security and law enforcement officials tell The Daily Caller News Foundation.

    “The prohibited conduct is the unsecured transmission of highly classified information,” to Clinton’s server, “as well as the receipt and retention of highly classified information in an unapproved manner,” says Bergquist.

    “As a former career senior intelligence officer and special operations special mission intelligence officer and National Security Council staff member, I believe it is inconceivable that if it is verified that Hillary Clinton’s server contained or had SAP information on it that she could possibly escape indictment and criminal prosecution,” adds retired Col. James Waurishuk, a 30-year veteran in the national security field.

    COLONEL,LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON.LAWS DO NOT APPLY TO HER.

    http://dailycaller.com/2016/04/06/any-one-of-these-four-laws-could-put-hillary-aides-in-jail/#ixzz454EkwW7V

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  6. Pistol Pete

    BANNED!! Trump’s henchman Roger Stone is too scummy for even MSNBC!!!

    THIS IS A DESPICABLE LITTLE CRAPWEASEL


    MSNBC has now joined CNN in banning Trump’s old friend, former campaign aide, and scummy political agitator Roger Stone from their entire network.

    They admitted this after editing out an interview with Stone from a show last night on the network.

    http://therightscoop.com/banned-trumps-henchman-roger-stone-is-too-scummy-for-even-msnbc/#ixzz454H2iaj3

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  7. Pistol Pete

    Panama Law Firm’s Leaked Files Detail Offshore Accounts Tied to World Leaders

    THESE ARE KNOWN AS THE PANAMA PAPERS
    AS YOU CAN IMAGINE,CLINTON CRONIES ARE KNEE DEEP IN IT.
    WASHINGTON — A group of news media outlets published articles on Sunday based on what they said were 11.5 million leaked documents from a Panama law firm that helped some of the world’s wealthiest people — including politicians, athletes and business moguls — establish offshore bank accounts.
    The documents revealed the offshore accounts of 140 politicians and public officials, including several individuals with close ties to President Vladimir V. Putin of Russia.
    http://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/04/us/politics/leaked-documents-offshore-accounts-putin.html?_r=1

    Panama Papers: Obama, Clinton Pushed Trade Deal Amid Warnings It Would Make Money Laundering, Tax Evasion Worse

    Soon after taking office in 2009, Obama and his secretary of state — who is currently the Democratic presidential front-runner — began pushing for the passage of stalled free trade agreements (FTAs) with Panama, Colombia and South Korea that opponents said would make it more difficult to crack down on Panama’s very low income tax rate, banking secrecy laws and history of noncooperation with foreign partners.
    http://www.ibtimes.com/panama-papers-obama-clinton-pushed-trade-deal-amid-warnings-it-would-make-money-2348076

    Do The Panama Papers Even Matter?

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