Monthly Archives: February 2016

Why I Prefer Old Westerns

The republican primary looks more like a schoolyard game of ‘king of the hill,’ where everybody is trying to knock off the kid at the top of the hill. Cruz and Rubio are both taking shots at Trump who, in actuality, has shot himself in the proverbial foot time and again by addressing David Duke’s endorsement, the Trump University fraud, and blaming the judge in that lawsuit of being biased because he’s Hispanic. Nothing seems to make the Trumpkins waver, as he still draws thousands to hear him hurl threats and insults at everybody.

The Oscars were last night. The annual orgy of self-congratulation by stilted, jaded millionaires whining about climate change, gay rights and diversity, just not in their lily-white world. I read a lot of articles about the gala and decided not to pollute this site with all the meaningless pap.

Multi-multi millionaire finally got his award and used the occasion to whine about climate change:

But the most dramatic moment came towards the end of his speech, when he spoke forcefully about a cause that’s long been near and dear to his heart: climate change. “The Revenant was about a man’s relationship to the natural world, a world that we collectively felt in 2015 as the hottest year in recorded history. Our production needed to move to the southern tip of this planet just to be able to find snow. Climate change is real. It is happening right now. It is the most urgent threat facing our entire species, and we need to work collectively together and stop procrastinating. I thank you all for this amazing award tonight. Let us not take this planet for granted. I do not take tonight for granted.”

If who won last night was important to you, the list of winners is here:

While all this was going on I was watching the Encore Western Channel on demand.
Here’s why I prefer westerns:
The bad guy always gets caught/killed in the end
The cowboys never peed or pooped…no toilets in the west
Dance hall girls never took cowboys upstairs for a bucking bronco ride
The six-guns held 37 shots without reloading
When people got shot,there was no recoil backwards and no blood around the wound
The Indians were all white guys wearing shirts so only their faces needed makeup
They all had headbands to hold om their cheap wigs
The good guys could shoot two redskins off galloping horses with one shot
The Indians spoke in deliciously racist terms like:
‘white man speak with forked tongue’
‘me sendum to happy hunting ground’
‘you needum much wampum for Injun maid’
The walk-on actors never had guns… only the main characters went strapped
It was all in good, clean fun. Something political correctness precludes today.
Keep your modern progress…I like it where I am.




Filed under Academy Awards, Climate, Hollywood, Republicans

GOP Insiders Determined to Make Their Suicide a Messy One


With the most popular Republican Presidential candidate (and possibly the top two) in open existential warfare with the GOP leadership, it’s clear that the party, as we know it, will not survive into 2017.  A leadership change is being forced by deeply unhappy conservative voters, but the old guard leaders, represented by Senators McConnell and Graham and House Speaker Ryan (and Boehner before him) are not going quietly into the night.

In fact, recent actions by the party indicate an unthinkable level of willingness to self-destruct, even to purposely lose the election rather than allow a popular outsider like Donald Trump to win the nomination and the general election.  According to Politico, GOP leadership is taking measures to set up a possible independent run at the last minute in order to split the vote and prevent their own candidate from winning the general.

Although shockingly deceitful and destructive, such a move actually makes sense.  The current party leadership might survive another loss to Democrats with whom they share more in common than they do with their increasingly alienated constituency.  But they might not survive a huge victory by a free candidate, like Trump, “loaded for bear” against them.

Another strategy reported by the New York Times is for the GOP leadership to force a brokered convention and nominate a candidate friendlier than Trump: Marco Rubio or John Kasich – but NOT Ted Cruz.  BlurBrain commented about this as follows (emphasis mine):

Why not just run Romney or McCain again?

Once again the Party elites are bound and determined to find some way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory by dumping some lackluster nominee on the unwilling Republican voters in the mistaken belief that only some Johnny Milquetoast RINO can appeal to the wider segment of society.

Dude, we tried that, TWICE and it failed…

How about for a change they just let the people decide who they want, for better or worse and then get the hell out of the way?

This election isn’t going to be about ‘likes and wants’ as much as who you hate and fear the most. And right now it seems the GOPe is siding with the Democrats.

Cross-Posted at Political Clown Parade and Blog of Monte Cristo.


Filed under Elections, Mitch McConnell, Republicans

Finally Friday

Apparently there was a debate last night. It’s all over the political websites this morning. Unfortunately (or not) I had more important things to watch last night. Like movies on the couch with my beloved child bride. It appears Rubio and Cruz were seen conspiring to gang up on The Donald and to some degree it worked. Trump was confronted time and again about his ever-changing opinions on just about everything. The problem is that at this stage of the campaign it’s probably too late to stop him. It is assured if both stay in the race until the convention they’ll split the opposition to Trump.

I have never made it a secret that I don’t trust Trump. From the polls I’ve seen I am simpatico with 60% of republican voters. You just can’t completely trust someone who was a democrat until his alleged “come to Jesus” moment about 18 months ago. Most of us remember the popularity of ‘spoilers’ like John B. Anderson (my former congresscritter) and that hand grenade with a bad haircut, Ross Perot, who sounded good until you realized he verbalized what people were feeling but offered no solutions. The Trumpster talks a good game but has almost no chance of ever getting anything done. How is he going to build a coalition on the hill without making deals with the entrenched democrats AND the republicans?

There is always deal-making, jockeying for plum positions, and there is now talk of a brokered convention. I will vote for Trump if he is the party’s nominee, since the alternative is unthinkable. The trouble is there are a lot of voters on our side who are willing to “send a message” to the GOP elites at the cost of a third Obama term in the form of a ruthless, cold-hearted, soulless bitch whose greed knows no limits.

WATCH: Highlights From The Houston GOP Debate
Check out some of the most compelling moments from the Houston #GOPDebate:


Trumpageddon: Cruz and Rubio Unveil Plan to Mock and Dismantle Frontrunner

Over the course of the last 48 hours, the Rubio campaign pulled one of the great head-fakes in recent political history by telegraphing that they weren’t at all interested in attacking Donald Trump at tonight’s debate. Technically, this wasn’t a ruse because Rubio didn’t just attack Trump. He went after him with a chainsaw. And Ted Cruz brought a pair of pliers and a blowtorch.


If the normal laws of politics applied to the 2016 race, it would have been a catastrophic night for Trump. By any reasonable measure, Trump had a meltdown. He was exposed as a policy lightweight on a host of issues.

But will it hurt him? Probably not by itself. But if tonight’s debate is the beginning of a sustained counterattack against Trump—by Cruz and Rubio themselves on the stump, by their campaigns on the air, and by reluctant donors who now see that there’s a blueprint for dismantling the orange menace—then it could mark the beginning of the end for Trump.



Wally World 1



Filed under Debates, Elections

Just Some Stuff

Still a little shaken from the last post. Some lightness is in order.








Filed under Funny Stuff

Twenty-One Years

February 25, 1995, a pretty woman, in a fit of madness and heavily sedated, became my lawful wedded wife. Ours has been an amazing relationship in that we’ve never had a serious fight or even a heated argument. It was not the first rodeo for either of us and we were at a time in our lives when it was just time to be with each other. We knew relationships were no 50-50; they’re 100-100 every single day. It seemed we were finishing each others sentences in a very short time, and almost instinctively know what the other is thinking. She raised a son and daughter with almost no help from their father and I consider them every bit my children as I do my two daughters. Through good times and bad we always support each other. My fervent hope is that I’m taken before she is. She’s not young, thin or rich. But she treats me like a king (except when I go off on politics) and I could not imagine ever living without her.

She came to family breakfast with us today and it was the biggest crowd ever. My cousin Pam, her daughter Carrie, cousin Trish, her sonNick, her BF, my Uncle Bob, their dad, and my precious Uncle Roger. Cousin Scott’s memorial is Saturday and we all shared stories of him from long ago happy years.

Scott David Nordstrom
January 28, 1958 ~ February 16, 2016 (age 58)
Scott David Nordstrom, 58, of Rockford passed away peacefully to eternal life on Tuesday, February 16, 2016 in Swedish American Hospital with his loving family by his side. Scott was born on January 28, 1958, the son of Robert Nordstrom and Gloria (Bird) Nordstrom. He attended Auburn High School and served two years in the U. S. Army from 1976 – 1978 training as an electrician. He held various jobs in maintenance and as a machinist. Scott enjoyed reading, watching old tv shows, telling jokes and stories, listening to music, going to Bible study at Calvary Christian Church with his sister Trish, as well as spending time with family and friends. Scott was a kind, caring, and loving man with a great sense of humor who will be dearly missed.

He is survived by his father, Robert (Jan) Nordstrom; sisters and step sisters, Pamela (Erich) Schulze, Patricia Weyl, Sheila (Tom) Klonicki, Peggy (Rick) Seeling, Teresa Moberg; two nieces, Carrie Morris, Jodi Weyl; three nephews, Andrew Heaslip, Joshua Poulton, Nicholas Weyl; four great nieces; and two great nephews. The family extends a sincere thanks to Dr. Sankineni and all of the assisting caring staff in Swedish American Hospital CCU.

Memorial service will be held at 11:00 a.m. on Saturday, February 27, 2016 in Calvary Christian Church, 5455 Charles Street, Rockford with Pastor Steve Doyle officiating. Visitation will be held from 10:00 a.m. until time of service. In lieu of flowers memorials to the family.

My uncle asked me to give the eulogy Saturday because he said I had a way with words. Usually I do, but there are times when the words come hard. He struggled most of his adult life and battle demons we cannot imagine. Maybe he’s finally found the peace that eluded him for so long. Rest easy, Scott.


Filed under Family & Friends

A Cyclone in a Wheatfield

So yesterday I came home from delivering the newspapers, sat down with my coffee and bagel and, to my chagrin, my computer monitor had died. Non-functional. It had ceased to be. I never go to Craigslist for anything but for some reason I had checked on computer services and written down a couple numbers a few days earlier. I found a guy with a small service who had a new monitor he could install the same day. When he arrived at my door, he resembled a Santa Claus on LSD. Pot-bellied, scraggly white beard and hair in a ponytail. He replaced the defective equipment, updated a couple programs for me and tried to convince me to upgrade to Windows 10 (ain’t gonna happen). When we started in on politics, he claimed Obama was not a liberal and republicans were extreme. The service call ended abruptly.

Donald Trump went through the Nevada caucuses yesterday like the proverbial cyclone through a wheat field, garnering 45% of votes cast, more than Cruz and Rubio combined. He is boasting he’ll have the nomination wrapped up in 2 months. I really thought by this time people would realize they were being played by a democrat-cum-republican who is reaping the benefit of years of the pent-up anger of conservatives who have been lied to, sold out, had “electable” moderate candidates forced upon them, and watched the people they elect side with liberals to victimize the shrinking middle class.

We watch as blacks, muslims, homosexuals, transgenders, and sundry victim classes demand we accept their behavior and lifestyle as the belief in God and individual achievement we base our lives on is mocked, assaulted and demeaned. The GOPe that has aided and abetted this war on our morals and values must see what’s coming. Maybe they see it, maybe they don’t. Maybe they don’t care anymore.


It is widely known that Glenn Beck loathes Donald Trump.
But revenge is a dish best served cold.

Tonight in Las Vegas Donald Trump CRASHED a Caucus where Glenn Beck was speaking.


Glenn Beck Calls Trump Supporters ‘Brown Shirts’ after Trump Crashes His Caucus Speech

Beck took to Facebook to protest the behavior of Trump supporters, describing them as “some of the nastiest people I have ever been with.”

“We have their hate and rage on tape,” Beck wrote. “Others around them were embarrassed for them. It was scary and sad.”





Filed under Donald Trump, Glenn Beck

Monday Catch-Up

OK, so over the weekend, what happened? The nation mourned the passing of a great Justice while the leader of the free world couldn’t be bothered with such trifling. He spent all of about 37 seconds by the casket then skipped off, visions of the constitution in flames dancing in his head. Karma: the prick sneaked out for a round of golf and it rained.

In South Carolina Trump won big, even with people of faith who are hoping, at best, that he will at least do nothing to hurt them, as the current occupant of The Peoples House does. Jeb! finally gave up and his big money backers are flocking to Rubio. Cruz has been my personal choice since Gov. Walker dropped out. At least you know what you’re getting with him, and to a lesser extent, Rubio Mcamnesty. With Trump, my greatest fear is if he secures the nomination he will go completely off the rails and start spouting gibberish and at worst, revert to his former liberal self.

Cankles pulled out a victory in the Nevada caucuses, as The Toad ordered the casino unions to all show up to support the bloody bitch. She won every caucus held in a gambling venue. I recall vividly this is how he won his last election even though he was and still is the most reviled man in the state. He won Clark County, where Las Vegas is located, and lost every other county in the state. He was 4 points down the day before the election to Sharron Angle, the weakest candidate they could get for him, and won by 6, with help from the SEIU, who was “maintaining” the voting machines in that county. He flat out stole his position, as he’s done his entire career.

This week the venues switch, with the GOP going to Nevada and the dems schlepping to South Carolina. I pray The Bitch doesn’t break into her homegirl routine. I’m running short of dramamine. Poor Bernie will try to convince the natives a 73-year-old communist is ‘down with the struggle.’ The fact people fall for this charade is more than a little depressing. I’ve stayed away from the conflict between Cruz and Rubio as they try to destroy each other and ultimately hand the nomination to The Donald, master showman and snake oil salesman.


Missing Links 1







Filed under Elections, Funny Stuff

Sometimes You Just Gotta Call the Theory Ugly

This morning, over at the Last Refuge, aka The Conservative Treehouse, the Proprietor-Lord Sundance was justly celebrating the demise of the Jeb! Campaign.  And so he should.  The backroom, stogie-chomping, establishment gurus (GOPe) who pushed a clearly unwilling and unenthusiastic Jeb Bush into running as their puppet deserved to be defeated.  They have corrupted conservatism and ruined the Republican Party for far too long.

But one thing that seems to have passed unnoticed is the additional demise of the glorious “Splitter Theory” that Sundance concocted while soaking in his hot tub in Florida, drinking a few too many Sam Adams, and letting the temperature get a little too high for human brain health.  This is the same theory that got Sundance recognized by Doug Ross just a few months ago in his “Fabulous 50” Awards, and coat-tailed an additional award for his mostly unknown 1st lieutenant and pitbull, YTZ2Mee, and her blog, “StopShouting,” for no particular reason other than that Sundance probably asked him to.


I’m not going to post any links.  Sorry.  I wouldn’t even go over there, frankly.  You’d eventually get banned, anyway, like all the rest of us.

But it’s worth remembering the “Splitter Theory,” not so much for the core idea that the GOPe would attempt to split and manipulate the delegates in order to get Jeb! nominated.  That much is true and obvious to anyone with a brain.

No, the cool thing about Sundance’s Splitter Theory is that he presented it as a complex calculation that only he could devise, consisting of a series of dozens of key events that only he could foresee and that were miraculously verified as being triggered only by him.  Revealed as they were by the Mind of Sundance, these triggered events proved that there was literally nothing that anybody could do to prevent the inevitable: the crowning of Jeb! as the GOP nominee, no matter what.  Basically, all you could do, dear reader, was to sit back and continue to read another thrilling episode of the Sundance Show.  Because, that was kinda the whole point, after all.

Well, it didn’t really happen like that, did it?  But somebody should pause for a few minutes today to mock this particular buffoon and his idiotic theory, because he’s already moved on to his next hard-sell, which is the demonization of Ted Cruz and the coronation of his preferred candidate, Donald Trump.

Is there anything wrong with that?  Mostly, no.  Trump’s not a horrible candidate.  But Cruz is a far better one, and so far, Sundance’s demonization campaign against the worthy Senator Cruz has been mostly fabricated from whole cloth.  That’s usually the way that Mr. Treehouse operates, and that, dear readers, is a very, very bad thing.


Filed under Elections

A Post for Our Liberal Lurkers

In an effort to be inclusive and put our diversity on display, this post is much like the literature progressives are so fond of. It has to be rife with pictures (that means a shitload) and runs from the sublime to the ridiculous to the sophomoric. If any of those words confuse you, ask a conservative… they’ll explain it. Any articles linked to in the comment section are likely above your proficiency level, so just keep scrolling.









Filed under Funny Stuff

Unreasonable Facsimile Chrissy-Substitute Fermentation Post

0% genuine Chrissy added, but almost 10% as good as the original!


Here at the Grunt Ranch, we occasionally do some culinary research for the purposes of healthier eating and drinking.  So, with Chrissy out of commission for a while, we decided to experiment with some pro-biotic food!  We found out some pretty strange things.  For example, did you know that you can ferment cash?  It’s true.  The money in your piggy bank has so many microbes on it, that you can put it in salt water, set it on the shelf, and turn it into a potentially tasty broth.  Then, you can rinse it off and spend the money!  We’re still waiting for someone to taste it first so we can write a review.  Stand by for that.  It may be a while…


In the mean time, here are some other ideas and funnies.  I shamelessly ripped the first one off of Bob’s site!  Thanks, Bluebird!




'Have you been eating fermented birdseed again?'




Filed under Food