CLASSIC PORNOGRAPHY — A PRIMER

This is to allay the fears of my good friend and bestest buddy, Chrissy, who expressed concern about a comment I made about the movie Behind the Green Door. This movie was made in 1972 and was in the same genre as Deep Throat and Debbie Does Dallas. The noteworthy thing about this film was that the star, Marilyn Chambers, was the model for the box of Ivory Snow Soap Flakes.

This was during the time when movies were filmed in 16MM and shown in “art theaters” frequented largely by smelly, sweaty men wearing overcoats, loose-fitting trousers and looking much like Harry Reid and Bernie Sanders. Compared to the array of smut available today on any computer screen, these were actually funny, given the contrived plots, dialogue, the actresses all wore wigs and the actors had moustaches like David Axelrod.

Would anybody in their right mind actually take a date to one of these places? Well, OK, but it was her idea. To avoid any possible chance of someone seeing me, we went to a show in a town 30 miles east of here. The theater itself reeked of bodily secretions and heavy duty pine cleaner.

My date was a girl I went to college with, and we had done a couple theatrical productions there. To say she was outspoken would be an understatement. During the entire film she kept a running commentary loud enough for everyone to hear.

‘She’s faking it!’

‘Women don’t sound like that!’

‘Yeah,give it to her good!’

I tried to slink down in my seat as far as I could without sliding onto that nasty floor. When the movie was about over I took her hand and beat a hasty retreat out of there. As we’re heading back to the car I was looking straight ahead, not risking eye contact with any of those perverts. Once we were safely away, I asked her if she learned anything. I had the unfortunate luck of taking her to a movie that starred John Holmes. “Johnny Wadd,” as he was known, had to have had an organ transplant from a Shetland pony. She said,”Yeah,I learned how inadequate you are.”

‘Darlin.’ I replied, ‘me and my two best friends measured end to end wouldn’t be that big.’ We sort of drifted apart some time later and I think she either became a dominatrix or she married a democrat representative. Same difference.

By the time I was married for the second time I came to the realization that art does not, in fact, imitate life. I never came across that van full of cheerleaders all wanting to have their way with me. Once you learn how to appreciate a good woman you don’t need that kind of crap.

10-Liberal-Commandments

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19 Comments

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19 responses to “CLASSIC PORNOGRAPHY — A PRIMER

  1. Pistol Pete

    Obama Sends U.S. Troops To Cameroon In Anti Boko Haram Fight…


    The United States is sending 300 U.S. troops, along with surveillance drones, to Cameroon to bolster a West African effort to counter the Nigerian militant Islamist group Boko Haram, U.S. officials said on Wednesday.

    In a notification to Congress, President Barack Obama said an advance force of about 90 military personnel began deploying on Monday to Cameroon, with the consent of the Yaounde government.

    WHY DO i GET THE FEELING THAT SOME OF THESE TROOPS WILL BE SACRIFICED TO HIS TERRORIST BROTHERS,LIKE SEAL TEAM SIX WAS IN AFGHANISTAN?

    http://www.reuters.com/article/2015/10/14/us-nigeria-bokoharam-usa-idUSKCN0S823F20151014?feedType=RSS&feedName=topNews&utm_source=twitter

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  2. Pistol Pete

    Trump rally gives way to shoving, yelling amid Latino protests

    Around a dozen students tried to interrupt Trump, who had just began his speech at a Richmond, Virginia rally, shouting “We’re here to stay,” and “Dump Trump.”

    Members of the crowd snatched their signs and began shoving, in an episode that lasted several minutes.

    “Go back where you came from!” one supporter shouted.

    At another point, a rally attendee spit in a protester’s face
    “We have thousands of people in this room… We have about ten people over there. They’ll get the headline,” he lamented during the rally.
    http://news.yahoo.com/trump-rally-gives-way-shoving-yelling-amid-latino-024244055.html

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  3. Pistol Pete

    Debbie Wasserman Schultz Refuses to Acknowledge Her Children Were Human In The Womb

    Tuesday night among the post debate spin the DNC Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz was seemingly caught off guard by an Media Research Center (MRC) reporter.

    Instead of asking about her thoughts on the debate the reporter took the opportunity to ask Schultz about abortion inquiring if she believed that her children were human beings before they were born.
    SHE WAS,NO DOUBT ANNOYED

    http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2015/10/video-debbie-wasserman-schultz-refuses-acknowledge-children-human-womb/

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  4. Thanks for the classic primer, Pete. Some of that stuff really was pretty funny. We were just watching a Jason Statham movie that had a pretty good homage to them. “The Bank Job” is a true story about an MI-5 sanctioned bank heist in London back in the 60s, and one of the main crooks was a London porn king who made those cheesy films. One of Jason Statham’s mates was a young dude who is recognized by the porn king and winds up dead because he had starred in one of his films, and he was hung like a draft horse, a la Ron Jeremy or Holmes. As they’re reviewing the film to ID the guy, they’re saying: “That’s him all right. Holy crap, is that thing REAL???” LOL.

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    • Pistol Pete

      On an episode of Wahlburgers,the matriarch,Alma, said that the final scene in Boogie Nights,starring her son,Mark Wahlberg,which was a shot a somebody’s proud manhood,she emphatically insisted it was NOT HER SON!

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      • That was true! It wasn’t her son. It was a prosthetic. Totally fake. Probably modeled after an elephant appendage. Mark said it was the only movie prop he ever took home with him. Presumably to use as a practical joke, but hopefully not to show Alma!

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  5. Pistol Pete

    Tantrum-Throwers Occupying Baltimore City Hall To Get Mayor To Dump Police Commissioner, Threat Made Against Police…Update: 5 Quit And Come Out, Couldn’t Go Without Pizza…Update: Demands Include Right To Be Disruptive, Police Not Be Allowed To Enter ‘Safe Houses’ For Protesters…Update: They Don’t Even Last A Day

    THE NATIVES ARE RESTLESS
    They don’t want him to be voted in as commissioner because they didn’t like what he did as an interim. But he was voted in anyway, despite Mosby (in this case, Nick Mosby, the husband of Marilyn Mosby, voting with the tantrum throwers).


    THESE ARE NOT EXACTLY MENSA CANDIDATES WE’RE TALKING ABOUT HERE

    One included Lawrence More, @BMoreDoc, who teaches at Morgan State, and surprise surprise is a Soros Fellow who we’ve spoken of before. He’s previously said white people should put their ‘unearned wealth’ in black peoples accounts. He was also involved in agitating at the time of the riots.

    The coalition calls for a ban on military-style police equipment such as armored vehicles and rubber bullets, and for “riot gear” to be used only as a last resort to protect officer safety. They demand that police officers wear badges and name tags at all times, and for media and legal observers to be allowed to “do their jobs freely.”

    The group also calls for police to respect as “sacred ground” several locations identified by the group as “safe houses” for protesters — not to be entered without a warrant and never entered with sealed or so-called “no knock” warrants. They call for alternate routes to be created for commuters and other travelers to get around protests, but also call on police to “allow protests to take and occupy larger and more disruptive spaces than would normally be tolerated,” and for “longer periods of time than would normally be tolerated in the interest of constitutional rights.”

    16 #BlackLivesMatter Tantrum-Throwers Arrested For Trespassing After Occupation At Baltimore City Hall

    http://www.weaselzippers.us/236884-tantrum-throwing-youth-occupying-baltimore-city-hall-to-get-mayor-to-dump-police-commissioner-threat-made-against-police/

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  6. Pistol Pete

    Democratic National Committeewoman says her party is ‘clearing a path’ for Hillary because ‘the women in charge’ want it that way
    THE DAILY MAIL UK TREATS THIS AS BREAKING NEWS..STEVIE WONDER COULD SEE THIS COMING YEARS AGO

    She rattled off a list of women at the top of the party hierarchy and said two vice chairs helped craft a decision this summer to favor Clinton
    The committeewoman warned her party could promote Hillary ‘because she’s a woman, and risk having her implode after she’s nominated’
    The Democratic National Committee insisted that it ‘runs an impartial primary process, period’
    But it has sanctioned just six debates this time around; Democratic presidential candidates had to survive 27 of them in 2007-08
    DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz campaigned for Hillary in 2008 when she last ran for the presidency

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3273404/Democratic-National-Committeewoman-says-party-clearing-path-Hillary-women-charge-want-way.html#ixzz3of5ZHJDL

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  7. Pistol Pete

    Ivanka Trump: Criticism of Her Father ‘Orchestrated’ by the ‘Media’
    THE VERY SAME PEOPLE WHO CRITICIZE HER FOR HAVING A RICH FATHER THINK NOTHING OF CLINTON’S UGLY-ASS KID WHO GOT A NO-SHOW JOB AT NBC TO THE TUNE OF $600K

    “Look, my father is very blunt. He’s very direct. He is not gender specific in his criticism of people, and people that he doesn’t particularly like or people that he does like but thinks they’re wrong on a particular issue,” Ivanka told CNN’s Poppy Harlow. “So I don’t think that he’s gender-targeted at all. Like I said, I wouldn’t be the person I am today, I wouldn’t be a high-level executive within his organization if he felt that way.”
    http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2015/10/15/ivanka-trump-criticism-father-orchestrated-media/

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  8. Pistol Pete

    ‘It’s Over’…’The Nomination Contest Ended When Bernie Sanders Said, Were Sick of the Emails’

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  9. Pistol Pete

    Foul-Mouthed Union Chief Dumped At Obama’s Consumer Agency

    Robert Cauldwell, who was handpicked by the National Treasury Employees Union to serve as president of CFPB’s local 335, received only 25 percent of the vote, according to a union tally dated Oct. 8 and obtained by TheDCNF.
    Cauldwell was widely disliked by CFPB union members for his dictatorial style and his liberal use of profanities, including a recent display of anti-Semitism toward one of his own board members.

    http://dailycaller.com/2015/10/14/foul-mouthed-union-chief-dumped-at-obamas-consumer-agency/#ixzz3ofFieMSK

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  10. Pistol Pete

    Target plays PORN video over store PA system; frantic parents, employees freak out!
    I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS,I SWEAR

    Shoppers at a California Target superstore Wednesday got a real dose of the department store chain’s motto, “Expect more, pay less,” but not in a good way.

    The audio from what sounded to be a porn video was played on the store’s public address system, shocking customers and making babies cry.

    Gina Young, a shopper at the Campbell, California location, took cell phone video of the incident and posted it to her Facebook page, and offered this description:

    http://www.bizpacreview.com/2015/10/15/target-plays-porn-video-over-store-pa-system-frantic-parents-employees-freak-out-264333#ixzz3ofHSlYeH

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  11. Pistol Pete

    Nephew of ‘worst aunt ever’ who sued him for hugging her too hard and breaking her wrist speaks for the first time: ‘She would never do anything to hurt me’
    WOMAN ACCIDENTALLY BROKE HER WRIST HUGGING HER 12 YEAR OLD NEPHEW.SUED HIM FOR $127,000.


    Jennifer Connell sued her nephew over an incident at his 8th birthday
    A Connecticut jury took just 25 minutes deliberation to dismiss her case
    The nephew spoke the first time Wednesday, saying he loves his aunt
    Sean Tarala, 12, agreed with Connell that the lawsuit was ‘just a formality’
    She says she had to name him to claim household insurance and settle her medical bills
    Her legal team claimed Connecticut law forced her to take the court case
    Her insurance would not pay to treat the injuries without negligence finding

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3272025/Jury-rejects-New-York-aunt-s-127-000-bid-sue-nephew-breaking-wrist-welcoming-EIGHTH-birthday.html#ixzz3ofJJDdlu

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  12. Pistol Pete

    Gun shop found liable in cop shooting

    Jury’s $6 million fine sends shock waves on 2nd Amendment
    THIS IS CHILLING;A JURY IN MILWAUKEE HAS FOUND A GUN STORE LIABLE FOR SELLING THE GUN THAT EVENTUALLY FOUND ITS WAY INTO THE HANDS OF A (GUESS WHAT NATIONALITY0 THUG WHO SHOT TWO POLICE OFFICERS,OUR 2ND AMENDMENT RIGHTS ARE GOING AWAY SOON.
    Jurors in Wisconsin ruled a gun shop must pay $6 million to two Milwaukee police officers who were shot by firearms sold at the store – a historic decision that legal analysts say will have a ripple effect on Second Amendment rights around the nation.

    The ruling was against Badger Guns, and came after two officers, Bryan Norberg and Graham Kunisch, the latter of whom is now retired, were shot in the face after stopping a suspect from riding a bike on the sidewalk in 2009. The suspect, Julius Burton, has since been sentenced to serve 80 years in prison.

    But further investigation revealed he bought the gun about a month before the shooting for $40 from another man names Jacob Collins. Collins, who’s since served two years in prison, had purchased the firearm at Badger Guns, Fox News reported.

    http://www.wnd.com/2015/10/gun-shop-ordered-to-pay-6-million-to-shot-cops/#gYrw7EBDfbEuPR3S.99

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  13. Pistol Pete

    Hillary Clinton Asked If There’s Anything Wrong With Socialism? “Not Going to Comment”
    NEVER GIVE A STRAIGHT ANSWER…EVER…

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  14. Pistol Pete

    James Taylor, Queen Latifah, Usher Join Obama Concert at the White House
    IT’S NICE TO KNOW OUR LEADER CAN DETATCH HIMSELF FROM ALL THE BLOOD BEING SPILLED ALL OVER THE WORLD AND JUST GET DOWN AND PAR-TAY.

    President Obama is expected to take advantage of the cooler fall weather to host another concert at the White House featuring artists like Queen Latifah, Smokey Robinson, James Taylor and Usher.

    According to the White House, the concert will be held as “A Celebration of American Creativity” to honor the 50th anniversary of the National Foundation on the Arts and the Humanities Act.
    The First Lady hosted a group of children to meet a few of the artists this afternoon to talk about the original Arts and Humanities bill signed in 1965.

    “Way back in 1965, President Johnson created the National Endowments for the Arts and the Humanities,” she said. “And he did this because he wanted to promote the creativity that makes our nation so special and so unique.”
    http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2015/10/14/james-taylor-queen-latifah-usher-join-obama-concert-white-house/

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  15. chrissythehyphenated

    Thank you, Pete. 🙂

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