Daily Archives: September 3, 2015

Top Ten Most Unlikely Contents of Hillary’s Mystery Box

Gruntington Post – When the Hillary Clinton campaign announced their latest gimmick to attract donations from misguided individuals willing to add their pocket cash to that of Saudi sheiks, shady arms dealers, Planned Parenthood, union thugs, various terrorist groups and about half the third-world dictators on the planet to help Hillary get what she wants, it started a frenzy of speculation about what useless token was being sent out in the ‘ThxBox.’ Here at the Gruntington Post, we have no idea, and really, really don’t want to know.

However, we have a super-computer capable of running the statistics and determining the objects that you can bet your grandmother will almost CERTAINLY NOT be in any of the boxes. Here’s the top ten.

Top Ten List of Objects LEAST Likely to be in a ThxBox:
1. Comprehensive list of Hillary’s accomplishments as SecState.
Hil-Prison copy2. The half-gallon of Vince Foster’s missing blood that should have been at his death scene if he’d really shot himself in the head at Fort Marcy.
3. Complete collection of futures market investing books that Hillary used to become an expert before she made her cool $100,000 on the only transaction she ever made.
4. Complete collection of endearing and romantic handwritten letters sent between Bill and Hillary during the White House years in the 1990s.
5. Thoroughly convincing autographed photo of Hillary convalescing under doctors’ care for the concussion that prevented her from testifying before Congress about Benghazi.
6. Replica of the ethics medal Hillary was awarded for her truthful and courageous work during the Watergate Hearings in the 1970s.
7. Framed and autographed photo of Clinton advisor Sid Blumenthal and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu with Sid’s inscription: “Sorry about all those anti-Jewbag epithets over the years, Bibi. We love yah, and aren’t actively working toward the annihilation of Israel. We swear!”
8. Actual human teeth collected from the Bosnian snipers captured after firing on Hillary’s diplomatic entourage on the tarmac at Sarajevo.
Scoob9. Authentic pair of Huma Abedin’s panties recovered from somewhere in the Scooby Van that may or may not have been laundered since the Iowa State Fair. You have to contribute to find out!
10. A copy of Dr. Alma Bond’s new book about Hillary being poised to be America’s first Narcissist Lesbian President.

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THE OUTRAGE METER HAS REDLINED

One would think that in more than 4 1/2 years of poring over a multitude of news sources plumbing the depths of human depravity that one would be inured to almost anything. Most times, such is the case. But sometimes the further one goes the worse it seems to get. Some of today’s outrages include but not exclusively are:

Gwen Ifill (who actually moderated a presidential debate) mocking Benjamin Netenyahu
Barbara Mikulski committing to be the 37th vote to insure Barry gets his Iran deal
Black Baltimore judge decides six cops will be tried seperately so racist DA can showboat
Hillary webmaster will plead the 5th rather than testify before Congress
Syrian refugees stopped at Hungarian border
Obama dances with the natives
Policewoman in uniform refused service at Arbys by dreadlocked nigga – claims it “was a joke”
Kerry promises Saudis, Israelis money after he sold them out for a chance at a Nobel prize and Barry’s ‘legacy’
Teenaged male crossdresser uses girls’ bathroom; hundreds walk out in protest

I haven’t scanned the web for a few hours so who knows what else I find.

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