SOMETIMES YA JUST GOTTA SMILE

There are a lot of days where doing this post is a lot like having constipation. It’s difficult getting started, but once it does it can go on for an uncomfortable amount of time. I really try to avoid posting about Killary, but I don’t remember a time when somebody could suck up every CC of oxygen in the room for as long as she has. I’m getting started late, so it’ll take me through an episode of Maverick, 2 Riflemans and a Wyatt Earp just to get finished. I feel pretty goofy today so either it’ll be a good post or I’ll end up with the back door trots.

REMEMBER MY POSTING THE THING ABOUT THE WOOKIE YESTERDAY? GUESS WHAT I FOUND ON FB?
SHE’S GOT AN ASS LIKE TWO SOWS TRYING TO GET OUT OF A GUNNY SACK. I DON’T BLAME BARRY FOR BEING A CLOSET HOMO. GETTING NEAR THOSE THIGHS COULD RUIN YOU. LITERALLY. TIE A BOARD ACROSS YOUR ASS SO YOU DON’T FALL IN, CHUM
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I’D NEVER SERVE THIS PRICK ANYTHING I DIDN’T SPIT IN FIRST
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WHEN YOU GET TO THE POINT YOU CAN TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF AND SHE DOESN’T LAUGH ANYMORE YOU GOT A KEEPER. TOOK MONTHS WITH MY BELOVED CHILD BRIDE.
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I LIE AWAKE NIGHTS DREAMING OF THIS FANTASY
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31 Comments

Filed under Funny Stuff

31 responses to “SOMETIMES YA JUST GOTTA SMILE

  1. Pistol Pete

    “I Love Lucy” was Sunday Night’s Number 1 Scripted Show, Nearly Twice as Many Viewers as “Mad Men” Finale

    I NEVER BOTHERED WATCHING MAD MEN.WOULDN’T WASTE THE TIME.BUT VINTAGE LUCY IS HARD TO BEAT FOR REAL LIVE-ACTION COMEDY.
    Sunday night: Two reruns of “I Love Lucy” from the 1950s, colorized (objectionable, but ok whatever) scored the highest total viewers of all scripted shows that night.

    “Lucy” had 6.4 million total viewers. That’s almost twice the very high “Mad Men” score of 3.3 million viewers on Sunday. That’s shows with scripts. The Billboard Music Awards had 11 million, and “60 Minutes” had 9 million.

    But of all the other shows on TV Sunday night– Dateline, The Simpsons, Battle Creek– Lucy prevailed
    DID ANYBODY ELSE WATCH SUPERMAN THEN TIE A TOWEL AROUND THEIR NECK LIKE A CAPE AND PRETEND TO FLY?OR WAS I THE ONLY ONE?

    http://www.showbiz411.com/2015/05/19/i-love-lucy-was-sunday-nights-number-1-scripted-show-nearly-twice-as-many-viewers-as-mad-men-finale

    Like

    • chrissythehyphenated

      There was a thing I read once by a mom whose son did the towel AND tried to fly by hanging on to the ceiling fan blades. It didn’t work. She told a number of other stories about her inventive and high maintenance off-spring, then concluded with how long it took the local first responders to get to her house. ::snork::

      Like

      • chrissythehyphenated

        Ahh … I googled and found not the original piece, but a part of it:

        If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.

        If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan and tie it to a paint can, it does spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 room.

        You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.

        When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.

        A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

        The glass in windows (including double pane windows) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

        Like

        • Pistol Pete

          We didn’t have ceiling fans at the farm.We did finally get a room air conditioner eventually.I’d tie one of granny’s towels around my neck and jump off the roof of the chicken coop.Surprising I didn’t break something.
          Ah,memories.

          Like

  2. Pistol Pete

    Brian Williams pulls out of hosting awards show for military veterans and will be replaced by Michelle Obama
    NBC anchor, who was suspended after being called out by veterans for lying about his experience in Iraq, said he didn’t want to be a ‘distraction’
    I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M DOIN’ THIS SHIT…I AIN’T EVEN GETTIN’ PAID FOR IT.WHERE’S THE BUFFET?

    Ceremony, to air on PBS Friday, honors people who have helped veterans and military families
    A HOBSON’S CHOICE BETWEEN A CONGENITAL LIAR AND A PAMPERED,ARROGANT WHORE WHOSE MATE HAS COST WAY TOO MANY GALLANT SOLDIERS THEIR ALL.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3090195/Brian-Williams-nixes-PBS-appearance-Michelle-Obama-steps-in.html#ixzz3atV2WcUJ

    Like

  3. Pistol Pete

    Foolin: Handcuffed Baltimore Man Fakes Injury After Noticing Camera!
    SAVE THE DRAMA FOR YOUR HOMEY,OBAMA

    Like

  4. Pistol Pete

    More than 1,200 Clinton emails deemed ‘personal’
    THOSE MUST HAVE BEEN THE ONES WHERE SHE SENT NUDE PICTURES OF HERSELF TO HUMA.THEN SHE HAD TO ROLL THOSE DEFLATED BALLOONS BACK UP AND TUCK THEM IN HER CAST IRON BRA.THAT’S WHERE SHE TUCKED THE BEER TO KEEP IT COLD.

    “The goal of this review was to validate that the department correctly applied federal statues, regulations and guidelines in identifying the personal correspondence of the former secretary,” chief records officer Paul Wester wrote in a letter dated May 6.
    http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/presidential-races/242934-more-than-1200-clinton-emails-deemed-personal

    Like

  5. Pistol Pete

    ‘Pay Pal’ Posters Show Buddies Stephanopoulous & Hillary

    Posters appeared in various locations near ABC News in New York City featuring artwork of real life buddies George Stephanopoulos and Hillary Clinton with multiple dollar signs under the banner of “Pay Pal.” Underneath is a large “Donate” button.
    http://www.truthrevolt.org/news/pay-pal-posters-show-buddies-stephanopoulous-hillary

    BEEN WAITING TO POST THESE:

    Like

  6. Pistol Pete

    ISIS Releases Latest Edition of ‘Dabiq’ Magazine – John Kerry Makes the Cover
    THE COVER,IN ARABIC,READS:THIS IS AMERICAN ZIONIST DOG WHO SMELLS LIKE CAMEL AND BRAYS LIKE JACKASS.

    John McCain, Lindsey Graham and Barack Obama are all pictured in the latest Dabiq magazine.

    The magazine claims, “It’ll be only a matter of time before the Islamic State reaches the Western world.”
    http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2015/05/isis-releases-latest-edition-of-dabiq-magazine-john-kerry-makes-the-cover/

    Like

  7. Pistol Pete

    AP Reporter: Clinton events are STAGED with ‘pre-selected, pre-screened’ SUPPORTERS

    http://therightscoop.com/ap-reporter-clinton-events-are-staged-with-pre-selected-pre-screened-supporters/#ixzz3atbzrmsa

    Like

  8. Pistol Pete

    The hot-dog hustle is over: Man caught charging up to $30 dollars for a sausage and soda near Ground Zero has been FIRED
    Ahmed Mohammed was caught on camera selling hot dogs for $30 to tourists in New York City near the 9/11 Memorial
    The vendor changed his prices depending on the customer and also shortchanged some individuals
    On Thursday, the owner of the car announced he had fired Mohammed
    Mohammed was also issued a summons for failing to advertise the prices on the side of the car
    HE DIDN’T EXPLAIN HOW HE GAVE $5 MILLION TO THE CLINTON FOUNDATION

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3092114/The-hot-dog-hustle-Man-caught-charging-30-dollars-sausage-soda-near-Ground-Zero-FIRED.html#ixzz3atdY5yE2

    Like

  9. Pistol Pete

    Would-Be Victim Pulls Gun On Carjacker: ‘So You Woke Up Stupid This Morning?’
    When Hashim Fannin pulled into an Atlanta, Georgia Family Dollar an alleged carjacker climbed into his passenger seat and said, “You know what this is?” Fannin responded by pulling his gun, ordering the man out of the car and onto the ground, then asking, “So you woke up stupid this morning?”
    While waiting on police, Horn asked Fannin to just let him go. Fannin said, “I told him no, there’s no leaving, leaving was before you hopped into my car.”
    I JUST LOVE A HAPPY ENDING

    http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2015/05/22/would-be-victim-pulls-gun-on-carjacker-so-you-woke-up-stupid-this-morning/

    Like

  10. Pistol Pete

    65-Year-Old Woman Gives Birth—and Sets a Record

    DW IS 65…I SHOWED HER THIS AND SUGGESTED SHE MIGHT GET IV FERTILIZATION AND MAYBE HAVE ANOTHER KID.
    I DIDN’T THINK SHE COULD STILL HIT THAT HARD.
    “We do not recommend this,” says Dr. Tal Biron of Kfar Saba hospital. Nevertheless, he added that the baby is “very cute.” Shahar’s husband is 67, and they’d been trying unsuccessfully to have a baby throughout their 46-year marriage.
    https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/65-year-old-woman-gives-birth-and-sets-a-record-119598057047.html

    Like

    • Ting

      Oh, Lord. I’m 60 and I can’t stand to think of starting over with all of that. In 5 more years when I am her age – I think it will just be 5 years worse!

      Like

      • And isn’t it rather hard on the poor baby, having such elderly parents? When he graduates from high school his mom and dad are going to be in their eighties, assuming they’re still alive. I hope they have legal guardians set up for him, and good life insurance, too.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Pistol Pete

    THIS IS SO MY GRANNY

    Like

  12. Pistol Pete

    11-Year-Old Graduating With 3 Degrees From American River College
    HE DIDN’T EVEN GO TO PUBLIC SCHOOL…IMAGINE THAT

    Tanishq Abraham graduated from high school at age 10, and now has his sights set on a medical degree. He told KCRA he wasn’t intimidated by taking classes with students twice his age.
    http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2015/05/21/11-year-old-graduating-with-3-degrees-from-american-river-college/

    Like

  13. Pistol Pete

    Hillary “Lots of Love” Voicemail to Felon Scammer Norman Hsu

    Like

  14. Pistol Pete

    Are you washing your bra TOO MUCH? Experts advise laundering once every ten days – or risk damaging your breasts
    I GOOGLED ‘BRA PICTURES’ TO GET A SHOT TO POST HERE.NOW I HAVE TO GO WASH MY HANDS.

    According to a textile expert, bras that are washed too frequently can become damaged, which causes them to lose elasticity and become less supportive, which can be harmful to the wearer.
    I ALWAYS WORRIED ABOUT WEARING OUT THE ELASTIC IN MY TIGHTIE WHITEYS.TO TEST,I’D THROW THEM AGAINST THE WALL.IF THEY STUCK IT WAS TIME TO CHANGE THEM.IF THEY DIDN’T,I WAS GOOD TO GO.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3086925/Are-washing-bra-Experts-warn-laundering-intimates-damage-breasts-advise-doing-ten-days.html#ixzz3atmuW4SK

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  15. Pistol Pete

    We Don’t Give a Sh*t About You”: Chris Christie Delivers Profanity-Laced Tirade At NJ Press Dinner
    Gov. Krispy Kreme goes off.
    Even attendees used to Christie’s brusque demeanor thought the speech was unusually biting.

    http://www.hapblog.com/2015/05/we-dont-give-sht-about-you-chris.html

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  16. Pistol Pete

    Not a whole lot of substantive issues today.As Granny would say:’sometimes it bees dat way.’

    Like

  17. Ting

    Happy Memorial Day weekend, everyone. I am going to the sailboat with husband and daughter and try to forget about the rest of the world. I hope all of you have the chance to be with family and decompress, too.

    Like