Grunt: We have with us today, two experts on the African American experience in America. We’d like to get to the bottom of the latest discussion point: Are African Americans hogging the limelight when it comes to being the most underprivileged group in America? Mrs. Obama?
Mooch: I guarantee you that right now, there are (African American) kids living less than a mile from here who would never in a million years dream that they would be welcome in this [shithole]. And growing up on the South Side of Chicago, I was one of those kids myself. So I know that feeling of not belonging in a place like this. And today, as first lady, I know how that feeling limits the horizons of far too many of our (African American) young people.
Grunt: Mr. Lagoon?
CBL: First off, my people come from the Black Lagoon. Not the “African American” Lagoon. The very fact that you assumed I’d want my title translated like that is proof that African Americans have been hogging the underprivileged spotlight in this country for far too long. Hell, it’s not just us lagoon-dwellers who get pushed aside. What about all the other brown and yellow kids who grow up poor around here, huh? Not only that, but I don’t get this obsession on color, anyway. Down in the American South, where we creatures spend a lot of time swimming around in the bayous, plenty of the poor kids are white. I don’t know how many times I’ve had to attack white women swimming in their sexy bathing suits out a little too far from the beach. You think I like leaving their kids orphans? Of course not, but a creature’s got to eat. Still, don’t think I don’t feel bad about how underprivileged those poor white kids are. We need to raise some awareness about that!
And by the way, is that really the First Lady of the USA? She seems a little scary to me. Does she ever stop scowling or harping about race? One of my people should probably eat her some day, but from what I hear, they’d have to be lurking in the pool of a 5-star Dubai hotel to get a chance. Namaste.