DW and I have had our star boarders since yesterday morning, and while it’s a joy,it’s really tiring trying to keep up with a 7 and 11 year old. We watched something on the Disney Channel last night called Bad Hair Day. They’re getting more into pre-teen and away from cartoons. The jury is still out as to whether that’s a good or a bad thing. Before I turned in for the night they brought me Valentines they’d made with grandma from construction paper,glitter and crayons. As I type this they’re taped to my computer desk. Their mom called to check on them at bedtime last night and she and daddy were enjoying a rare quiet night alone. I’ve got some funny stuff today since I didn’t do it yesterday,plus a few political things.
THIS IS FROM DIOGENES’ MIDDLE FINGER,IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
The Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has opened in Manchester, just off Deansgate where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more.’
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework…
‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’ Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor.. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street with the same rules.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
I DON’T RECALL ANY VALENTINES LIKE THIS WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL