The news is still full of terrorism,democrat conspiracy,republican impotence and race-baiting stunts. I figured maybe it was time for some different stuff just for a change.

The temperature is supposed to hit 38 tomorrow. I plan to run the old Ford POS through the car wash,since like most cars it has so much salt on it that it looks like a big margarita. Hopefully it won’t wash off the rust that’s holding the darn thing together.







Jurassic Fart






Filed under Funny Stuff


  1. Pistol Pete

    EXCLUSIVE: ‘What the BLEEP!’ Rosie Perez FIRED from The View, Rosie O’Donnell goes ballistic at the news and delivers a furious on-air denial and Barbara Walters is brought back to restore calm to the shake-up at collapsing talk show

    Rosie O is in the dark about Perez – and even went on the air to deny the story today
    She began today’s show with tirade and almost uttered the f-bomb on air
    Perez became difficult to work with, having gone through six makeup artists, two assistants, and several hair stylists
    I had to take DW to her doctor’s appointment last week and The Spew was on.I suffered mightily for nearly 20 minutes until she was done.


    • chrissythehyphenated

      I have a firm opinion that the people who grow old in this business are the ladies and gentlemen who know how to recognize they are only one small part of a big team of people who all work hard and deserve a pat on the back and a thank you. Most recent example: Michael Keaton’s Golden Globe acceptance speech.


  2. Pistol Pete

    Watch This Little Boy’s Reaction When He’s Presented With a 3-D-Printed Prosthetic Arm…by ‘Star Wars’ Stormtroopers

    For 7-year-old Liam Porter, last Saturday night started out as a regular family trip to the movies.

    It ended with the Augusta, Georgia, boy being surprised by group of “Star Wars” stormtroopers who presented the young science fiction fan with a very special gift: a 3-D-printed prosthetic arm.

    Liam was born without a complete left arm, but now, he doesn’t need to let that hold him back.

    Even cooler? The arm was also built to look just like a stormtrooper’s.


  3. Pistol Pete

    Oxford Press Bans Pigs From Kids Books (They Don’t Want To Insult Muslims or Jews)
    This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home, and this little piggy was banned by Oxford University Press (OUP) because they didn’t want to insult Muslims or Jews. Instructions by the educational publisher “prohibits authors from including anything that could be perceived as pork-related in their books.”
    Somehow a goat,lettuce and tomato sandwich doesn’t sound very appealing.


  4. Pistol Pete

    Karma bites this disgusting he/she in the butt.
    I wanted to beat the shit out of this parasite


  5. Pistol Pete

    NH Man Pleads Guilty to Putting Boy in Dryer

    A man from New Hampshire accused of putting a two-year-old boy in Bangor in a dryer pleaded guilty Tuesday to assault.

    Police say 27-year-old Adam Morton admitted he put his girlfriend’s son in the dryer and turned it on while he was babysitting.

    The boy suffered second degree burns on his back and arms and burns and blisters on his feet.

    Morton is scheduled to be sentenced February 2nd.


  6. Pistol Pete

    How throwing away your saucepans, avoiding clingfilm and other wacky ideas can delay the MENOPAUSE

    Weight gain, lower sex drive and greater risk of heart disease are just a few of the symptoms women get during the menopause
    For many women the menopause seems to be starting sooner than ever
    I’ve known women in their twenties that I’d swear were going through ‘The Change’.Either that,or they were just bitchy.


  7. Pistol Pete

    Al Sharpton Calls For Emergency Meeting To Address ‘Appalling’ All-White Oscar Nominees

    “The movie industry is like the Rocky Mountains, the higher you get, the whiter it gets,” Sharpton quipped in a statement released later in the afternoon.
    I never had any interest in awards shows where people drone on about how great they are.But this is amusing.


    • chrissythehyphenated

      Roger L. Simon posted this:

      Maybe it’s actually a badge of honor — after all Sharpton himself makes Bull Connor seem like Martin Luther King — but the Rev Al has called me a racist because I am one of those (white!) Academy members who did not vote for Selma as an Oscar nominee. I cannot tell a lie. He’s right. … I do acknowledge my vote publicly, although it’s a secret ballot taken online, known only to the Academy and fifty thousand North Korean hackers. …

      But I have bad news for Al … some of us old white guys vote for talent and accomplishment, not skin color. I know that doesn’t fit in with your narrative or whatever you want to call it, but as anyone who has worked in Hollywood knows, it all comes down to the ol’ box office-arooney. …

      Let me tell you what this old lefty thinks of “diversity.” Diversity IS racism. … It divides people and turns them into objects, but that’s probably over your (meaning Al’s) head, so I’ll leave it at that.


  8. Pistol Pete

    The Slightly Awkward James Taylor Performance John Kerry Organized After Missing the Paris Unity Rally
    Pretty sad…the best this country can do is a burned-out,balding druggie who spent time in an asylum and who’s only claim to fame is banging a hottie like Carly Simon.
    Taylor and Secretary of State John Kerry are reportedly old friends, and Kerry stood by as Taylor sang his signature song. Kerry said earlier in the week that he would travel to France, a scheduling change that was announced hours after the Obama administration was widely criticized for failing send anyone to France on Sunday.


  9. Pistol Pete

    WHAT GAVE ME AWAY, OFFICER? … A 50-year-old man, who was wearing a T-shirt that said, “Seriously, I have drugs,” was arrested in Hudson, Fla., for possession of drugs.

    AND THAT’S WHY WE’RE OUT HERE, SIR … A man was arrested for drunken driving on New Year’s Eve in Vineland, N.J., after he told the police officer that “everyone drives drunk” on New Year’s Eve.

    MAN, THEY SURE TAKE SHOPLIFTING VERY SERIOUSLY HERE! … A man shoplifted $170 worth of goods from a store in Monroe, Mich., then went outside and boarded a bus. Sheriff’s deputies happened to be training in a police helicopter overhead, and sprang into action. It ended with the merchandise recovered and the suspect arrested.

    TAKING IT OUT FOR A TEST DRIVE … A couple were arrested for having sexual relations on top of a car in the parking lot of an auto dealership in West Palm Beach, Fla.

    SO WE HAVE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA OF WHO WE’RE LOOKING FOR … A man stole a woman’s smartphone in Virginia Beach, Va., and made the mistake of using it to take a photo of himself, which was automatically uploaded to the victim’s iCloud account. She has turned the picture over to police.

    IS IT ME OR IS IT BREEZY OUT HERE? … A 22-year-old woman led police on a chase in Fife, Wash., after driving the wrong way on Highway 509, swerving in and out of traffic and running a red light. When police pulled her over and got her out of her car, they discovered that she was drunk, naked from the waist down and clad in only a bra. A judge confined her to her home and ordered her to wear an electronic ankle bracelet.

    YOU CAN’T DO THAT! I HAVE SENIORITY! … An engineer at the Central Public Works Department in New Delhi, India, took advantage of that country’s very liberal labor laws, which allow government workers to take extended leave from their jobs. But officials said he pushed things a little too far, as he did not show up for work for 24 years. He was finally fired.

    IT LOOKS LIKE THE BIG HOUSE FOR YOU, ROCKY … A judge ruled that a man’s pet bobcat will be put in the zoo after the animal repeatedly escaped from its owner’s home in Stafford Township, N.J.

    PLUS IT MADE ME SEEM COOL … A man equipped his van with emergency lights and tried to pull someone over in Hernando County, Fla., while impersonating a police officer. The real police who caught up with him found police gear and badges in his vehicle. He told them that he got the equipment so that “no one would mess with him.”


  10. Pistol Pete

    NYPD: Female Student, 17, Brutally Beat Male Classmate Who Passed Gas In Her Direction

    Angered that a fellow pupil passed gas in her general direction, a New York City high school student allegedly clobbered the male victim in the head with a metal stool and repeatedly punched him in the face, according to police.

    Joquasha Rosado, 17, was arrested last week following the bloody attack at South Richmond High School in Staten Island. She was subsequently named in a criminal complaint charging her with felony assault, weapons possession, and harassment.
    Did you have any doubt?


  11. Pistol Pete

    ABC’s ‘Fresh off the Boat’ panel gets rather awkward

    The first question from a TV reporter is a jaw-dropper. The cast and producers of ABC’s new Asian-American comedy series Fresh off the Boat are gathered on a Pasadena hotel stage to take questions from roughly 200 members of the press. And the first comment to the panel is: “I love the Asian culture. And I was just talking about the chopsticks. And I just love all that. Will I get to see that? Or will it be more Americanized?”


    • chrissythehyphenated

      If I didn’t know the current state of what passes for “journalism” these days, I’d want to know if the questioner was Fresh Off Her Meds.


  12. Pistol Pete

    Why Are There No Lefties on Talk Radio?

    Moreover, why when Air America was alive and flush with subsidies did the various wits and sages of Air America not make us laugh and laugh with their jokes about President George W. and soon-to-be Speaker of the House John Boehner and the Tea Party or what was eventually the Tea Party? Why did they drone on and on about the conservatives’ alleged racism and stupidity? Why would they suddenly descend into vulgarity and bathroom humor? One could not listen to Air America for long without hearing one of its luminous minds call some conservative an anatomical part instrumental in evacuation or make some other coarse remark.


  13. Pistol Pete

    Tase Me if You Want To..!”
    He asks for it…he gets it.Then busybody filming gets his knickers in a twist.


  14. Pistol Pete

    I know its not current events,not much to comment on.I just felt like posting something besides the same old crap.


  15. Here’s a something-different.

    Pity the can-fed husbands!
    The lean ones and the pale!
    What tragedy can equal
    The hungry, unfed male?

    How woe-begone their manner,
    What pathos in their mien,
    As they devour with gusto
    The salmon and the bean!

    But with what satisfaction
    They tell their martyrs’ tales!
    Ah, canned meals are the stock in trade
    Of all the injured males.

    I’ve wondered what the others
    For martyrdom have used,
    For even the hand-fed husbands
    All yearn to seem abused!

    From Songs of a Housewife by Marjorie K. Rawlings. “It’s an odd book of poetry, recording in verse all the various complaints and problems of 1920’s housewives, such as husbands who complained about being given canned food.” (c/o Alex at Weird Universe)