Day One: Forced to pose for humiliating Christmas card photo.
Day Two: Human has gotten suitcases out of storage.
Day Three: Attempted escape foiled by lack of opposable thumbs. Also car keys.
Day Four: Human attempts/fails to get us to boarding kennel.
Day Five: Human leaves us home alone instead.
Day Six: Bored. Bored. Bored.
Day Seven: Sing to ease boredom. Neighbors bang on walls. Sing louder.
Day Eight: Woke from Worst Nightmare Ever!
Day Nine: Human foolishly expects joy on return.
Day Ten: What? You thought we were done punishing you? You were gone for DAYS!
Day Eleven: Bwahahahahaha!
Day Twelve: Damn.