FINALLY, FERGUSON-LESS FRIDAY

It took more than a little doing,but I figured you might be as sick of all the racist garbage,protests in the street,politicians moralizing and race hustlers basking in the glow of their own egos as I am. Therefore today’s post will be weird,bizarre,outrageous,funny and really sick. But nothing to do with race.
You’re welcome.

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THIS IS WHY DW WON’T LET ME GO SHOPPING WITH HER
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GRANNY USED TO STEP ON ONE OF THESE HIDDEN IN THE LIVING ROOM RUG AND SUDDENLY SHE STARTED SPEAKING IN TONGUES.
IT’S A DIFFERENT KIND OF PAIN
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CtH: I had to add this one here!

SECURITY Clear Lego blocks

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29 Comments

Filed under Funny Stuff

29 responses to “FINALLY, FERGUSON-LESS FRIDAY

  1. Pistol Pete

    New Minnesota law lets transgender student athletes choose whether to compete as boys or girls
    The policy, which will take effect next school year, allows transgender athletes to pick the team that fits with their gender identity
    It also provides an appeal process for students whose schools turn down their request
    For being less than 3% of the population homosexuals sure do get a lot of special consideration

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2861610/Playing-Minnesota-passes-bill-allowing-transgender-school-athletes-compete-team-sex-choice.html#ixzz3L2nrLCSd

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  2. Pistol Pete

    Florida man charged with stealing beef tongue
    HOW HARD UP DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO NEED TO GO TO WALLY WORLD TO GET SOME TONGUE?
    DELAND, Fla. — Police in Florida say a Wal-Mart shopper denied slipping $35 worth of beef tongue into his pants, but the telltale tongue told a different story.

    DeLand police say 44-year-old Jason Puckett was charged last week with misdemeanor theft after a Wal-Mart security guard spotted him slipping two packages of tongue into his waistband.

    When the guard confronted Puckett at the store’s exit, Puckett denied stealing the packages and said he had put them back on a shelf.

    But the guard told authorities Puckett then removed the tongue from his pants when he didn’t think he was being watched and ran from the store.

    Jail records show Puckett remained in jail Tuesday. Bail was set at $2,500.

    A public defender assigned to Puckett did not immediately return a call seeking comment.

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  3. Pistol Pete

    Frenchman develops pills to make flatulence smell of roses

    65-year-old inventor says he came up with his range of indigestion tablets after he was “nearly suffocated” by the smell of farts
    A Frenchman has developed a range of pills aimed at making people’s flatulence smell sweeter – of chocolate or of roses – which he says will make the perfect Christmas present.
    I WISH MY WIFE’S FARTS SMELLED LIKE CHOCOLATE
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/11253203/Frenchman-develops-pills-to-make-flatulence-smell-of-roses.html

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  4. Pistol Pete

    Kim Kardashian Model Snowblower
    WE RUN A CLASSY BLOG HERE

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  5. Pistol Pete

    Wal-mart Now Selling Islamic-Themed Christmas Tree Topper

    Wandering through the Christmas décor section, we found the products we wanted to shop, as well as one we really never imagined we would see – ever.
    INFIDEL,PUT THE STAR OF ISLAM ON YOUR FILTHY TREE….OR WE KILL YOU!
    http://www.hapblog.com/2014/12/wal-mart-now-selling-islamic-themed.html

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  6. Pistol Pete

    Workers free Pennsylvania inmate’s arm from toilet

    SHAMOKIN, Pa. — A Pennsylvania prisoner is free — relatively speaking — after spending part of the weekend with his arm stuck in a toilet.

    The News Item (http://bit.ly/1zdEyYr ) in Shamokin (Shuh-MOH’-kihn) reports that maintenance and emergency teams at the State Correctional Institution-Coal Township worked for several hours and wound up removing the toilet from its moorings to free the trapped limb.

    They say the prisoner’s arm became stuck Sunday morning when he reached into the toilet to fetch an item that had fallen in. They say removing the toilet allowed the man to pull his hand out of a connecting pipe and free his arm.

    Officials didn’t release the prisoner’s name.
    I’LL BET HE WAS SHAMOKIN HOT ABOUT IT.

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  7. Pistol Pete

    Michael Sam

    I’m Not in the NFL Because I’m Gay

    Michael Sam believes he’s not on a NFL roster because of the fact he’s openly gay — telling TMZ Sports he strongly believes he’s got the talent to play in the league.

    Sam was at LAX this morning when he was asked if he thinks NFL teams are shying away from him because of his sexual orientation … or if it has to do with the level of talent he faced after college.

    “I think I was the SEC Defensive Player of the Year last year … so I don’t think it had to do with talent.”

    Translation — he believes he’s on the outs because he’s out.

    Sam says he’s still focused on getting back into the league … and told us the chances of Oprah ever reviving the reality show that was in the works before the draft are slim to none.

    ITS NOT ALL BAD,THOUGH
    Gay NFL player Michael Sam kisses boyfriend as he wins GQ Man of the Year award
    Michael Sam made history as the the first openly gay player in the NFL
    The athlete was selected for the St Louis Rams but was later dropped
    Then he was selected for a Dallas Cowboys squad before being cut again
    Last night he was named the GQ Man of the Year 2014 in West Hollywood

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2861885/Gay-footballer-Michael-Sam-kisses-boyfriend-wins-Man-Year-award.html#ixzz3L2vXFUWT

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  8. Pistol Pete

    How to start a camp fire with a Harley Davidson

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  9. Pistol Pete

    Mooch Preaching Class Warfare: “Small Number” Of Students Sucking Up “Every Advantage”…

    AH CAIN’T SAND WHITEYS…NEVER COULD.BUT THEY MONEY IS JUST FINE.
    “[T]he fact is that right now, a small number of students are getting every advantage in the college admissions race, while millions of other students who are just as talented can’t even begin to compete.”
    http://cnsnews.com/news/article/susan-jones/michelle-obama-small-number-students-are-getting-every-advantage

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    • chrissythehyphenated

      Include yourself, your husband and your two daughters in this “small number” sucking up the advantages, sweetie pie. My folks couldn’t afford swanky schools like Punahou, Sidwell Friends, Princeton and Harvard. And we couldn’t afford to help our kids with college at all. They’re paying for it with jobs, loans and the GI bill.

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  10. Pistol Pete

    FateofDestinee + Machine Gun = HUGE Explosion!

    Like

  11. Pistol Pete

    Sadie Robertson Gives “All Glory To God” After Dancing With The Stars Finale

    Sadie Robertson and the Duck Dynasty clan said their goodbyes to Dancing with the Stars after finishing second to actor Alfonso Riberio, better known as Carlton from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

    On Sadie’s Instagram, she posted a message thanking everyone for the experience and wanted to give “all glory to God” for the time on the show.
    GIRLS NEED MORE ROLE MODELS LIKE SADIE AND FEWER LIKE MILEY CYRUS
    http://www.westernjournalism.com/sadie-robertson-gives-all-glory-to-god-after-dancing-with-the-stars-finale/#IJIDKG5dl1bpRBhe.99

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  12. Pistol Pete

    Woman Arrested For $6400 Sausage Heist

    Cops: Texas perp, 45, swiped a pallet of products
    A Texas woman was arrested yesterday for stealing more than $6400 worth of sausage from the Kiolbassa Provision Company, a San Antonio firm that has been smoking meat since 1949.

    According to an arrest affidavit, Regina Shaw, 45, was linked to the September 14 theft via surveillance footage that recorded her taking a “pallet of meat product” from the purveyor.
    MAYBE SHE WANTED TO START HER OWN MARITAL AID COMPANY?
    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/Texas-sausage-thief-caught-675432

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  13. Pistol Pete

    Wisconsin boys dial 911 in search of Santa

    MAYVILLE, Wis. — Two young brothers from southeastern Wisconsin are likely hoping they haven’t landed on Santa’s naughty list after police showed up at their doorstep.

    The boys, ages 3 and 6, thought the best way to get in touch with the North Pole was by phone. And for youngsters of that age, their Christmas lists could be considered an emergency.

    So, the brothers used their Dad’s cellphone to place a 911 call, hoping to be connected with the North Pole and the big guy himself.

    The Beaver Dam Daily Citizen (http://bit.ly/1zj7Nce ) says that brought police to their Mayville home where officers gave the boys some advice. If you want to talk to Santa, do it in person.

    Mayville is 50 miles northwest of Milwaukee.

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  14. Pistol Pete

    FANTASTIC New Web Ad by Ted Cruz — Keep your promise and #StopObamasAmnesty
    BEHOLD THE RARE REPUBLICAN WITH A FULL SET OF BALLS

    http://therightscoop.com/fantastic-new-web-ad-by-ted-cruz-keep-your-promise-and-stopobamasamnesty/#ixzz3L33fNf4r

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  15. Pistol Pete

    Iowa Man, 21, Arrested For Assaulting Pregnant Wife With McChicken Sandwich

    CAN’T SAY I BLAME HIM…THOSE THINGS ARE AWFUL
    An Iowa man yesterday assaulted his pregnant wife with a McDonald’s McChicken sandwich during a dispute in their Des Moines residence, police say.

    Marvin Tramaine Hill, 21, allegedly became upset when his spouse arrived home with “a McChicken from McDonald’s for him to eat prior to them going to their ultra sound for their unborn child,” according to a police report.
    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/wife-assaulted-with-McChicken-sandwich-687432

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  16. Pistol Pete

    Would YOU work in an office that banned toilet paper? Futuristic firm runs paperless workplace powered only by wind and water
    The office was built for Noordwijk-based technology firm Decos
    Firm has removed all paper such as letters, files and even toilet roll
    Instead, employees use apps, digital signatures and ‘shower toilets’
    Its futuristic design was inspired by structures in Star Wars
    Building is powered by energy from wind farms, and its fleet is electric
    Decos 60 employees use Geberit Aqua Clean ‘shower toilets’ (pictured). An integrated shower function is started by pressing a button, and a nozzle extends that sprays warm water. A dryer function is then used to remove the water
    OH,HELL NO

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2860696/Would-work-office-banned-toilet-paper-Futuristic-firm-runs-paperless-workplace-powered-wind-water.html#ixzz3L36TppUZ

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  17. Pistol Pete

    THIS IS PAINFUL;AT LEAST MOOCH HAS SOME RHYTHM(FOR A WATER BUFFALO) BUT BARRY CAN’T HIDE HIS WHITE HALF COMING THROUGH WHEN HE TRIES TO DANCE WITH SANTA
    THE AD FOR THE NEW TERMINATOR MOVIE IS WAY,WAY BETTER
    President Obama Dances With Santa

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  18. Hey, I don’t think anybody cares, but I had the privilege of getting dressed down by both Sundance and Ytz4mee over on the neutral ground of iOTWreports yesterday and today.
    http://iotwreport.com/?p=264378
    I made the mistake of pointing out that iOTWr might be praising the TreeStump a little too much for a graphic that they actually just stole from somebody else without attribution while claiming they did it. I also pointed out that it wasn’t really cool for the Tree Folk to be bragging recently on a Ferguson thread about calling some poor guy’s parole officer and getting him surrounded by a SWAT team with guns pointed at his head just for fun.

    For his part, BFH was good enough to change his post to reflect the fact that the graphic was actually done by someone else. Then SD and Yatz were good enough to write a few pages of testimony about how I’m really a mental patient escaped from some institution. Yatz even apologized for me, like I was an ugly puppy that had piddled on BFH’s carpet. I thought that was a nice touch. They both sounded pretty loony, so I left them to dig their own holes, but it took all the restraint I had to not start cracking jokes about all their drama. I know I shouldn’t risk exposure to evil of this magnitude, but I couldn’t help it. What use is blogging if you can’t even have an opinion?

    Like

    • chrissythehyphenated

      Sheesh! Grunt, I’ll take your brand of looniness over their “sanity” any day of the year. Yatz used to be on my bloggy mailing list, but a long time ago, she emailed and asked me to delete her. No loss, IMHO.

      Like

      • Thanks, Chrissy. In those days, there was some sanity present, to be sure. But some things have gone dark for a very long time. I try to avoid such conflict, honestly, but there are times when I can’t be silent. I guess they could sue me, but their lawyer quit about the same time me and Zoph did, almost 3 years ago.

        Liked by 1 person

  19. chrissythehyphenated

    The & symbol really does remind me of my dog itching his butt by dragging it along the floor. LOL

    Like