Today could be going better.
I put the pot on and prepared my favorite brew in my Bodum coffee press. Then I did some dishes. When it seemed like the water was taking way too long to boil, I realized I hadn’t turned on the (electric) burner. So I did that and got back to the dishes.
When I noticed a burning smell, I thought, “There must be a a piece of spaghetti or some crumbs under the burner.” Picking up the pot to blow under the burner, I realized it was empty … and smoking hot. So I cooled it off, put a cup of water in, put it back on the hot burner and got back to the dishes.
Then I realized I was getting a headache from the burned pot smell. Or maybe caffeine withdrawal. Probably both. So I turned on the exhaust fan and did some more dishes. Yes, there were a lot of dishes.
And since running water sounds exactly like the sound water makes right before it boils, which is when I like it best, I didn’t catch it before it was at a full rolling boil. I don’t want to crack my very expensive glass Bodum coffee press (again … $44), so I put the water pot on a cool burner and tossed in an ice cube.
Again with the dishes, where I realized I had forgotten to set the 8 minute timer I use for steeping coffee. Alert readers will notice I never put the water in the Bodum. I did not notice. I was not alert then. I am not alert now. How can I be alert when I haven’t had my flipping coffee!!??
So yeah … dishes, blah blah, the timer goes off and I find water has not yet met coffee grounds. Only after I dump the water into the Bodum do I have the sparklingly clever idea to check if it is still hot. I wasn’t. Crap. I don’t like lukewarm coffee, but dammit, I needed my caffeine! Back to the bloody dishes until I again realized I have forgotten to set the timer.
By this time, the water has brewed itself into stone cold coffee, which I do not like. Although I am very ready to throw something, I remember that $44 and say a prayer. What was that about trusting God? Oh right. On the off chance that God has an opinion about whether I have a cup of coffee right now, I dump it down the drain and abandon the kitchen, which still stinks of burnt pan.
This would not be a good time to post snarky comments about stupid people who allow themselves to become addicted to drugs, however legal. (See graphic.)