Posted by Pistol Pete
Following the birth of a child there are at least three significant milestones in their lives that caring parents/grandparents look forward to:
3. the birth of their first child.
Our granddaughter Jessica is 18 years old.
She is not married.
She is not pregnant (so we haven’t had to bail her dad out of jail yet).
She did finish her studies and will be receiving her diploma tomorrow. Things did not come as easily for her as it did for some of us,but she persevered and reached her goal. We are so looking forward to seeing her tomorrow. She’s always had a penchant for dyeing her hair neon colors like electric blue,bubble gum pink and Obama-lips purple. Hopefully her hair is its natural color tomorrow. Time will tell.
Mindful recalled a grannyism yesterday and I got to thinking its been awhile.
Typical conversation at Granny’s would be as follows:
‘Granny,I want a dollar.’
‘People in hell want ice water.’
‘Will you drive me to the store?’
‘Walking ain’t crowded.’
‘I want chicken for supper instead of pork chops.’
‘There are two choices on the menu every night…take it…leave it. I’m not running a restaurant. Supper’s at six. If you’re here you eat. If you’re not you don’t. It’s not complicated.’
‘You must be twins because one person can’t be that stupid.’
‘I’ll be switched and the hay ain’t pitched.’
‘I’ll slap you so hard your kids will be born dizzy.’
‘If wishes were horses beggars would ride.’
‘How come there are so many more horse’s asses than there are horses?’
(that one was grampa’s)
This was just how granny showed she loved us without getting too emotional.
In all my years with her I only heard her drop the F-bomb once…but that’s another story.
SOME OF THESE PUNS ARE FUNNY; SOME ARE JUST REALLY WRONG