Posted by Pistol Pete
Hoping for decent weather tomorrow…they’re calling for temps in the upper 40’s/lower 59’s. We’re planning to go to the big complex where kids play on multiple baseball diamonds. My grandson is playing there at 9:30 and his sister is playing on a different field at 11:30. Really looking forward to it.
I’d like to thank you for the kind words yesterday. It was appreciated more than you know.
I want to apologize in advance to Grunt…I don’t go looking for bizarre pictures of Killary,they just show up,and like a train wreck you just can’t avert your eyes.
A couple things before we get to the silliness.
Baba Wawa filmed her last episode of The Leftist View yesterday before she formally retires to spend her days counting her money and pretending she’s still relevant. A gaggle of A-listers showed up to do the fake hug and kissy thing including the Butcher of Benghazi and the most powerful man in the country,Orca Windpasser.
Speaking of Orca,she’s being sued by a man in Telluride,Colorado whose property is next to the 66 acres she bought for $10.5 million and plans to close access to ski trails that have been used by thousands for many years. I imagine Barry has his BLM army at the ready if she needs them.
Once again we find this regime is conspiring to cover up yet another atrocity concerning veterans on a secret list that are dying before they get treatment. Jake Tapper tried to get a straight answer out of a Spite House spokespuke yesterday and got the same self-serving gibberish we’ve come to expect from this bag of bastards.
It’s looking more and more like the dems will be able to whine about global warming and racism while the republicans push to exterminate themselves by passing amnesty to please their big corporate donors who only want cheap labor. We have a golden opportunity this November but I can promise if they push this immigration crap through many millions like me will stay home. Then we start working on our own party.
OK,now that I’ve depressed everybody,let’s get to the good stuff.
If our foreign policy in WWII was fought with hashtags:
Washerwoman had to pry another reporter off Obama’s ass.
MEANWHILE,AT CASA PISTOLA:
polination.blog 
Target Stores to Stop Selling Cotton–Made Products Due to Crop’s Role in Slavery
“Clothes made of cotton, cotton balls, cotton gauze for medicinal purposes, and all other materials made from cotton are no longer welcomed at Target,” stated an ardent Jeffery J. Jones II, Executive Vice President and Chief Marketing Officer of the national department store Target in a formal press release Thursday.
So why don’t they stop selling plasic products and anything alse made of petroleum from the eeevil oil companies.Then the Target stores will all be farmers’ markets.
http://clashdaily.com/2014/05/target-stores-stop-selling-cotton-made-products-due-crops-role-slavery/#WOUopRsz026MZVOp.99
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This is the dumbest thing I’ve heard all day, and I have had a long day.
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It’s satire, thank heaven!
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Thank heaven is right. I’m glad I read this before I had a chance to click on the article because I’m with Violet. Except that I thought it was the dumbest thing I have read in months! Now, I can go read the article with a better attitude! Ya got me, Pete!
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Is this a joke or a parody?
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oops, just saw the other comments, yep it is.
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So men ARE the weaker sex: Blokes wired up to machines which simulate pain of childbirth – can’t last 30 seconds
•Men in Chinese city hooked up to machines simulating pain of childbirth
•Volunteers given electric shocks with ‘agony scale’ ranging from 50 to 500
The old maxim goes that if men rather than women had to have babies, the human race would have died out long ago.
I’ve heard this from every female I’ve ever known.
Bill Cosby once said his wife described childbirth as taking your lower lip and pulling it over your head.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2626363/Now-know-feels-Men-wired-machines-simulate-pain-childbirth-30-seconds.html
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She must have been medicated, then. If a woman attempts to deliver unmedicated, it’s more like taking one of those cardboard tubes from the middle of a roll of paper towels, and forcing a bowling ball through it.
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I totally believe childbirth is hard. The 3 I’ve witnessed seemed pretty much physically impossible. But I’ll never believe that some Chinese machine accurately simulates the pain of childbirth. Besides, if it’s so accurate, why didn’t they try it on any females? Shouldn’t they be able to “test” it to make sure it’s right? My guess is that nobody can take the machine for very long – voluntarily.
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Yeah, and did the test also inject or adjust for the hormones and adrenalin that goes along with the women’s pain? Sure, it can (ok. IS) painful but women are DESIGNED to bear children. With that said I had to eat my words along these lines. I used to say I could never be a midwife because I would end up slapping the screaming mothers and telling them to buck up. Well, the ninth one cured my smart attitude! There were some complications causing the pain though so I guess it does not qualify as normal, everyday childbirth but I don’t think I would slap all the screamers now. Just the divas.
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Hoot, the labor room nurse I had when I was having baby #1 acted just as you said you would if you were the midwife. Apparently she thought I was faking it just to make her life difficult. It was so humiliating.
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Well I hope your midwife eventually was humbled as I was! I think I might even encourage some good screaming during labor.
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She had a couple of kids at the time, but I guess her labors and deliveries were easy. Otherwise she wouldn’t have been so mean to me.
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I have run into a couple of midwives that were downright mean! It was their birth and they were going to have it their way! And the person having the baby had better do exactly as they say. Had some awesome ones, too and two of them helped put one of the sadist out of business. Yeah.
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Tell me again that God is not all-powerful….go ahead
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Hmmm… wish we’d had a little of that divine intervention here on March 31…
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So do I. Sorry that the drain angels weren’t on duty in your part of the neighborhood that day. I hope the lower floor is getting close to repaired, though. Maybe the lawyer angels, at least, will come through.
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It’s progressing very, very slowly. Our son is doing all the work. He’s young and strong and energetic and a very hard worker, but the job is huge. All the carpeting, flooring, baseboards, trim, and the lower section of drywall had to be torn out, so it’s almost like starting from scratch. My husband doesn’t have time to help, since he’s swamped with work in his day job… and I’m no use, as I have zero construction skills, not to mention a bad back and arthritic hands. And we’re still fighting city hall for compensation. They are desperately trying to weasel out of it, claiming that they were not negligent (what a joke) and that the sewer backup was not their fault (so whose responsibility is it to maintain the sewer system? Are we supposed to be doing that ourselves now?). We provided them with incontrovertible evidence that it was absolutely their fault, but they’re still dragging their feet.
Anyway, it’s going to be months before we get our house back to normal. Good thing my husband’s collecting Social Security, so we can afford to pay our son for his labor. Luckily, he doesn’t have to pay income tax on what we pay him, since he’s our son… which means we can get by with paying him less than we’d have to pay a construction guy who was not related to us. 🙂
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Prayers for you and your gang! I have not been around as much and am now just seeing/hearing of your calamity. Ouch.
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Thanks Hoot! ♡
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Houston Stripper Being Sued, Customer Wants His Money Back
This happens more than you know.Lonely guy tries to buy friendship with stripper who only wants his money,and gets as much as she can before she splits.
http://news92fm.com/438236/houston-stripper-being-sued-customer-wants-his-money-back/
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Fleeing Florida Car Thief Hit Alligator, Crashed
Only in Sunshine State can reptile help cops take bite out of crime
Car thief goes to jail,alligator becomes luggage.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/alligator-helps-foil-car-theft-487632
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Someone stole a $4,200 GoCycle electric bike belonging to the man who happened to run the GoCycle shop in East London. After the theft, the victim got a call from the thief asking how he could get a charger. The victim got his address and appeared at the thief’s home.
WE’RE SENSING A PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR HERE … A man showed up at the courthouse in Daly City, Calif., in a stolen car to answer a charge of car theft.
THAT’LL SHOW ’EM! … After being fired from his job, a man got drunk and stole a forklift from the company. He was arrested when he drove it up onto the West Illinois Highway in New Lenox.
SO, DO YOU WANT US TO SHOOT HIM OR WHAT? … A 72-year-old man called police to his South Amherst, Ohio, home to complain that his grandson, who lives with him, is lazy and “does nothing around the home.”
CAN’T YOU READ!? IT SAYS ‘OCCUPIED’! … A young woman, flying from London to Las Vegas with her parents, got drunk and started flirting with the man who was seated next to her. One thing led to another, and the pair went into the plane’s toilet to consummate their relationship. But she made so much noise that the flight crew forced open the door and made them stop.
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33 YEARS OLD,40 WEEKS PREGNANT,DEADLIFTS 215 POUNDS!
I couldn’t do that on the best day I ever had
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S.T.U.P.I.D. thing to do.
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Mystery of how the octopus never ties itself in knots solved: Tentacles are coated with repellent that stop suckers sticking together
•An octopus’ brain doesn’t know where each of its arms are at any one time
•But, despite the potential confusion, the creature doesn’t get tangled up
Another burning question answered.
This ends our science lesson for today
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2629497/Mystery-octopus-never-ties-knots-solved-Tentacles-coated-repellent-stop-suckers-sticking-together.html
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It’s this kind of thing that gives the lie to Darwinian evolution.
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Anonymous Grandmother Pays Restaurant Bill for Autistic Students’ Field Trip
A group of 25 autistic students and 21 school staffers got a generous surprise during a recent lunch outing when they discovered that their bill had been paid for by an anonymous stranger.
At the end of the meal, instead of presenting the group of special education teachers, speech therapists, and teaching assistants with the $485 check, the manager informed them it had been taken care of.
The Good Samaritan, who is reportedly a frequent patron of the restaurant, chose to remain nameless, but she did relay to a restaurant employee that she has a grandchild with special needs and wanted to show her appreciation for the hard-working professionals. “We all were just taken aback,” one of the teachers, Jeannette Gruskowski, told MyCentralJersey.com. “Nobody’s ever done such a generous, anonymous thing like that.”
It’s called paying it forward.Some people still do it….just because.
https://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/anonymous-grandmother-pays-restaurant-bill-for-autistic-students-field-trip-220633557.html
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Awww…..Love this!
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THEY SHOULD REALLY RAISE THE STANDARDS FOR BEING ON THE TV NEWS:
Today Show slip-up “Get out of my pants”
BE VERY CAREFUL HOW YOU SAY:FIRE TRUCK
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You should also prepare your readings before getting on the altar. For example, [ahem] it’s “burning bray zher” … not “burning bra-zeer.” I’m thinking that was the last time ever that this particular lector decided he could wing it during Mass. Talk about RED FACE.
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This West Virginia 17-year old just beat an incumbent state delegate
Saira Blair will graduate from a West Virginia high school later this month. She posts photos of her smoothie habit on Instagram, volunteers at the Martinsburg VA hospital and helps raise money for the Make-a-Wish foundation. She will not be eligible to vote until July.
But on Tuesday, she beat a sitting state delegate who was seeking a third term in office.
With all 13 precincts in her Martinsburg-area district reporting, Blair beat state Del. Larry Kump (R) by an 872-728 vote margin.
Something tells me this kid has a bright future
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/govbeat/wp/2014/05/14/this-west-virginia-17-year-old-just-beat-an-incumbent-state-delegate/?hpid=z4
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I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT THIS THROUGH … A woman breached the perimeter fence of the Mesa County Jail in Colorado in an effort to free her younger brother who had been locked up on a DUI charge. Ironically, he was released on bond a few hours later, but she remains in custody for criminal trespass.
NO WONDER YOU GUYS WERE SO ANGRY … A 40-year-old woman, who had gotten her driver’s license only a few weeks ago, ran a stop sign in South Brunswick, N.J., and was chased by a police cruiser, with siren blaring and lights flashing for more than a mile before the officer broke off the chase. Officers confronted the woman at her house where she explained that she didn’t know she was required to stop for police, and just wanted to get home.
AND YET THEY’RE SMART ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY BE IN COLLEGE … Two coeds at the University of Georgia found that they were unprepared to take their final exams, so they put an ad on Craigslist for someone to hit them with a car and injure them “enough to get out of taking our finals.” The ad has been removed.
OH, DID I SAY ‘HATE’? I MEANT ‘LOVE’ … A woman posted a message on Facebook detailing just how much she hates her boss, probably assuming that he would never find out about it. She was disabused of this notion when she received this message from the boss-man: “You do realize we’re friends on fbook, right?”
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Man steals Subway toilet in West Seattle
An employee checked the bathroom and found the toilet tank gone, as well as the bathroom key. The sink was stuffed with paper towels and still running.
The toilet tank is reportedly worth $550.
$550?? Was it made out of gold?Or was it a government contractor?
still pretty cool somebody walking out with a toilet.
http://blog.seattlepi.com/seattle911/2014/05/12/man-steals-subway-toilet-in-west-seattle/
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Ever hear a heavy metal ukulele?
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Want to keep flowers fresh? Add a splash of mouthwash… and other crafty tricks to extend the life of everything from razor blades to bras
Anybody remember hints from Heloise?
Granny used to read them religiously.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2628607/Want-flowers-fresh-Add-splash-mouthwash-crafty-tricks-extend-life-razor-blades-bras.html#ixzz31u1UsHas
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Mom fights court order to circumcise toddler
An appeals court in Florida has stepped into a fight being waged by a mother to prevent the circumcision of her three-year-old son.
Jumping into a fight that so far has pitted the child’s mother, Heather Hironimus of Boynton Beach, against the father, Dennis Nebus of Boca Raton, the Fourth District Court of Appeal in Florida said it was calling a halt to a circumcision plan by a lower court – “pending further order.”
“The court finds that there is no reason why the parties should not be held to the terms of their Agreed Parenting Plan.
Parenting plan?Thats what happens when people don’t bother to get married before they have kids.
http://www.wnd.com/2014/05/mom-fights-court-order-to-circumcise-3-year-old-son/#ePXE3lioIw4Ve1VY.99
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Kiss of meth: Arrested duo caught trying to dispose of drug by passing it to one another in back seat of cop car so they could swallow it
•Timothy Povlick and Derek Boff had been stopped for traffic violations
•They were in possession of 10.5 grams of methamphetamine at the time
•Povlick had drugs in his mouth, but Boff was worried they may kill him
•They were filmed passing the drugs to each other by kissing on the lips
They should make this into an anti-drug message.
Don’t want whisker burns?play tonsil hockey with another dude?
DON’T MESS WITH DRUGS!!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2629043/Kiss-meth-Arrested-duo-caught-trying-dispose-drug-passing-one-seat-cop-car-swallow-it.html
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What Friday post would be complete without a piano-playing dog?
His name must be Furry Manilow
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For those of you who are always dissing cats…
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Bob, after seeing that cat in action, I will never diss cats again. I swear. 🙂
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I’m curious what happened to the dog. Where I live, an attack on a human nets a death sentence.
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The dog was euthanized, with the owner’s consent. That dog stalked and attacked the child like prey. Whether it was a product of it’s environment or had a screw loose from birth, it was a danger to the whole neighborhood. Sad, but necessary.
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That was one vicious mutt. I shudder to think how badly that little boy could have been hurt if Ninja Cat had not intervened.
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Absolutely. At first I thought it was a feral dog and was shocked to hear it was a neighbor’s pet. Crazy stuff. It’s like it was part dingo or something.
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So glad there was surveillance footage. It was clear from the video the dog had stalked and attacked, not been provoked in any way.
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I’m glad to hear it. The attack had that look to me. We had an irresponsible neighbor once who had 2 little dogs his daughter had dumped on him. He never walked them on a leash, just let them out at night to run and they formed a hunting pack mentality.
I took a walk one night and they backed me up against a group of mailboxes, lunging and snapping in turn. Scared the crap out of me. I played submissive dog and backed away from their territory, then called the animal control people in the morning.
That guy begged me to come in and swear out a formal complaint. He’d had numerous requests from neighbors (one who had a toddler) but no one would risk offending the neighbor and without a signed complaint, all he could do was knock on the door and say, “Control your dogs.” He’d done that. The guy didn’t care.
With my sworn complaint, he had the authority to impound the animals and take the owner before a judge. I understood the neighbors’ reluctance, but felt if anyone – esp that little boy – were attacked for real, I’d be partially responsible.
Faced with a fine, the owner (who didn’t want the dogs anyway) was very happy to surrender them. I think his real problem is that his daughter was such a bitch, he was more afraid of her than the animal control officer! But once there was a judge and some money involved, his priorities switched.
His daughter was a real piece of work. I hired her once to babysit, which involved picking up the kids at the on-our-street day care when it closed, walking them to our house and staying there until hubby got home from work. She didn’t show up. Turned out she didn’t “feel like” babysitting, so she didn’t. No big surprise when she dumped her dogs on dear ol’ dad.
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Wow. I understand the natural desire to have dogs out without leashes. Ours is well-behaved enough that I prefer to take him on walks unleashed, and it works pretty well. But I don’t understand people who let dogs run loose, especially multiple dogs. They cannot be controlled when the pack dynamic is in play, and they become dangerous. Almost any breed can be dangerous in those circumstances. Why some folks don’t see that is beyond me.
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If you enjoy heart-stoppingly beautiful nature photography, check out this guy’s website:
http://www.vmishchenko.com/#home
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Love it! There’s a lizard one that is like boot camp. Second down on right side.
http://www.vmishchenko.com/#gallery-Lizards
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That lizard in boot camp one was one of my favorites too! You should have one of your kids who’ve been through basic training come up with a great caption for that picture.
I thought about Mama Buzz when I saw all the great frog pictures. Be sure to send her the link. 🙂
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I sent the frog and lizard links to her. 🙂
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Have fun at the ball park tomorrow, Pete!
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Funny parody at Rush (H/T GP)
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My sentiments exactly.
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‘I Was Bored Out of My Mind’: ObamaCare Contract Worker Claims She Was Paid to Do Nothing = Greta Van Susteren interview.
http://foxnewsinsider.com/2014/05/16/i-was-bored-out-my-mind-obamacare-contract-worker-claims-she-was-paid-do-nothing
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