Today is brought to you by the Letter E

Dan Quayle once put an E on POTATO and the media labeled him the Dumbest Politician Evah! Obama left an E out of RESPECT and the media said, Oops, silly boy. Then the White House transcript scrubbed the error. And, hey, remember that time Joe Biden told us there was a three letter word called J.O.B.S. that would fix the economy? They’re such kidders, those two.

Sources:

http://twitchy.com/2014/03/07/totus-disrspects-potus-obama-full-of-r-s-p-e-c-t-for-women-of-soul-video/

Curious about what Catholics do at Mass?

This is the Liturgy of the Word from today’s Mass at EWTN.

At daily Mass, there are two readings from the Bible separated by a Responsorial Psalm. On Sundays, there is an extra reading. The readings for today are posted @ http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/030714.cfm.

At the end of the first reading, the Lector sings, Verbum Dòmini (This is the word of the Lord). The Congregation answers, Deo gratias (Thanks be to God). [All of these Latin/English things can be done in either language.]

The Responsorial Psalm can be read or sung. If you want to participate, today’s words are, “A heart contrite and humbled, O God, you will not spurn.”

Before the Gospel reading, there is a short prayer of joy. Glory and Praise, Alleluia, something like that. Then,

• Priest: Dòminus vobìscum. (The Lord be with you.)
• Congregation: Et cum spiritu tuo. (And also with you.)
• Priest: Lèctio sancti Evangèlii secùndum N. (A reading from the holy gospel according to Saint N.)
• Congregation: Glòria tibi, Domine. (Glory to you, Lord.)

Before reading, the Priest makes a sign of the cross on the Gospel, then on his forehead, lips and chest. The Congregation does the same to forehead, lips and chest. The silent prayer said with this action is, “May the Word of the Lord be in my mind, on my lips and in my heart.”

• After the reading, the Priest says or sings, Verbum Dòmini (This is the gospel of the Lord).
• Congregation: Laus tibi, Christe (Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ).

After the readings, the Priest presents a homily – i.e., a meditation about how to apply the daily readings in our lives outside church.

In today’s Mass, Father Leonard talks a lot about fasting.

FYI: During Lent, healthy Catholics 18-59 who are not pregnant or nursing are required to fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. According to U.S. bishops, fasting consists of only eating one full meal. Snacks are allowed around the times of the skipped meals.

Healthy Catholics 14 and older are supposed to abstain from meat on Ash Wednesday and all the Fridays throughout Lent. (Eggs, milk products and condiments made from animal fat are permitted.)

During Lent, the vestments are purple for penance. On the fourth Sunday of Lent, which is known as Laetare (Rejoice) Sunday, the priest wears pink if the parish owns a set of pink vestments. During Lent, we focus on Jesus’ sacrifice and our sinfulness, but on Laetare Sunday, we kind of lighten the somber mood for a bit cuz, after all, we know there’s a happy ending, right?

There’s a good run down of the parts of the Mass and when you’re supposed to stand, sit, kneel, sing, put your offering in the basket (and why) @ http://bustedhalo.com/googling-god/mass-class/whats-happening-in-the-mass. The full English and Latin Order of the Mass is posted @ http://www.latinliturgy.com/id18.htm.

The video starts after the Opening and Penitential Prayers and stops before the recitation of the Creed, which is a kind of bullet point statement of Catholic doctrines. After the Creed there is a time for Intercessory Prayer, then the Liturgy of the Eucharist followed by the Closing Prayers. On Sundays, there generally are four hymns or songs added during the Processional, Collection, Communion, and Recessional.

PETE’S PAGE; FRIDAY FUNHOUSE

Posted by Pistol Pete

A little late getting started;DW was playing online solitaire (such is the life of the idle rich/retirees). I can see the monitor from my recliner,and most of the time she plays like crap. I love her anyway.

Assemblyman William Boyland (D-Brooklyn) has been convicted on all 21 counts in his corruption trial.  Boyland now faces up to 30 years in prison for various crimes such as falsifying records, mail fraud, soliciting bribes, and a poor selection of mistresses.

Alright, I totally made that last one up.  Even though Ry-Ann Hermon, Boyland’s former Chief of Staff and mistress provided testimony that helped bring him down.  She testified that Boyland used campaign cash for Yoga classes for the couple, as well as accepting her own cash bribe which she said, and I quote, “made me hot.”

Hermon was arrested along with Boyland, but copped a plea in which she was able to testify against him

Read more at http://iowntheworld.com/blog/?p=227863#WXdgKhSKV1zHZmt9.99

Notice he’s wearing his role models’ hat.

Can you guess why this handsome gentleman was arrested?

a. urinated in an open police car window

b. tried to shoplift a car battery from WalMart

c. tried to have sex with a pit bull

d. was caught sniffing childrens’ bicycle seats

e. dug up a corpse to have sex with,claiming it was part of his thesis on necrophilia

ANSWER IN COMMENT SECTION

Hey Grunt: