Wanted by the White House: more sob stories!

From The People’s Cube.

Comrades, President Obama needs your help to raise everyone’s awareness of how the government shutdown is utterly ruining everyone’s lives and destroying everything in its path, and all at the behest of those greedy, evil anarchists, arsonists, extortionists, bomb-throwers, flame-throwers, terrorists, fearmongers, hatemongers, hostage-takers, killers, murderers, and thieves that make up the Tea Party Republicans, who are holding their guns, including assault weapons, to the heads of the American people, strapping explosives to the chests of children, and chowing down on kittens and puppies and bunnies while forcing everyone else to starve to death!

How can you help? By clicking on this link and sharing your courageous story of how the government shutdown has affected you, or more specifically, what the Republicans are doing to terrorize and torture you and take away your right to all the free stuff that makes America great!

Only tales of terror, woe, desperation and despair will be accepted. Your story must include at least one sentence blaming Republicans. Grammar, spelling, punctuation, facts and coherence are not important—what IS important is how horribly you are suffering!

We also accept photo selfies of you holding up a sign telling Republicans in your own unique way that you want your government back.

Undocumented/Aspiring Americans, Non-Aspiring Non-Americans, and children of all ages are encouraged to submit! As you can see at the above link, there is absolutely nothing that says you must be at least 18 years of age or a U.S. citizen to share your story—because let’s face it, the shutdown affects EVERYONE on Earth!

We will not accept any of the following: Anything that blames Obama and/or the Democrats. Any accounts of self-reliance. Of how people are making do. Of the many ways people are managing to get by without all that government, in its benevolent goodness and good benevolence, provides. Of the mythical resourcefulness that conservatives claim dwell inside every human as some sort of God-given free will crapola. Anyone who says the government shutdown is affecting them in these or other so-called “positive” ways is a ten-Pinocchio, raging, flaming Pants-on-Fire LIAR! (continue reading)


Filed under Barack Obama, Funny Stuff, Government Shutdown

4 responses to “Wanted by the White House: more sob stories!

  1. “God-given free will crapola” ROFLLL great line!

    I got a request in my email to sign a thing about NIH cancer trials, so went and wrote my letter to my legislators along the lines of “Obama Democrats are being spiteful and should knock it off.” After I sent it, I was sent to five more petitions, all very left-wing, which I checked, “No I don’t want to be kept abreast of this organizations activities.”

    Then, I was sent back to the original page but with comments enabled. I realized the tone of the original letter was all “end the shut down” NOT “Democrats should get off their thumbs and fund the NIH.”

    (“I’m Michelle and my chance at a life-saving experimental cancer treatment has been canceled by the govt shut down” with photo of pretty bald lady holding adorable toddler … God knows if she’s real or not)

    The first few comments were MSM enabled GOP haters, so I blasted off my own comment about how the GOP passed a bill funding the NIH and Democrats killed it. “Look it up. Do your own research. Stop letting them use you to further their agendas at our expense.”

    Maybe it’ll wake someone up to actually DO just that.


    • I hope lots of people read your comment, and that it penetrates at least a few thick leftist skulls!


    • GP

      This is why I NEVER sign petitions, even at tea party rallies. I just do not trust that those passing the petitions do not have some ulterior motive, like collecting names of people at the event for further Big Brother harassment. That petition is a prime example. They pretend to care, but they actually doing the opposite. Isn’t that one of Alynski’s rules?


      • chrissythehyphenated

        I’ve got mixed feelings about petitions, but I think I need to be more cautious and skeptical since this one. I don’t LIKE and SHARE the political ones on Facebook… you know, “If you think Obama should be impeached, …” How do I know what list I’d end up on?!