Posted by Pistol Pete
Its Friday,which shouldn’t mean anything to me since I’m retired,but I really enjoy bringing you some crazy stuff so maybe you can decompress a little bit.
Wonder how many Madison Avenue suit-types are wondering how a television show about a bunch of God-fearing,duck-shooting,family and fun-loving rednecks can draw 11.2 million viewers for the start of a new season?Let them figure it out for themselves.
GRUNT:IS THIS YOURS?
Filed under Funny Stuff
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polination.blog 
Men mostly have sex, food and sleep on the brain, says survey – and they have naughty thoughts TWICE as often as women
Wonder how many mensa students it took to figure this out?They could get the same result by asking any woman.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2389740/Men-sex-food-sleep-brain-says-survey.html
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Weymouth Man Arrested After Bragging To Undercover Officer About Being ‘Wanted’
If you’ve committed felonies it might be a good idea to keep it to yourself
http://boston.cbslocal.com/2013/08/10/weymouth-man-arrested-after-bragging-to-undercover-officer-about-being-wanted/
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About the Molon Labe “Grunt Style” graphic, I’ve never heard of that. But I agree with the sentiment. 🙂
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Faith, family and ducks: Behind the scenes of ‘Duck Dynasty’
Oldest son,Pastor Alan Robertson,joins the cast this season
http://www.christianchronicle.org/article2159776~Faith,_family_and_ducks%3A_Behind_the_scenes_of_'Duck_Dynasty‘
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This one gets the bluebird of bitterness’s highest rating: ♡♡♡♡♡
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THERE ARE FAT CATS ON WALL STREET,THEN THERE’S…BUDDHA
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2390512/Meet-Buddha–31-pound-feline-forced-diet-hates-cat-food-loves-pasta.html
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“The fat cat is now on a special diet and the goal is for him to lose one pound a month as rapid weight loss can lead to heart failure. They want him to get down to around 20lb – a healthy weight for a cat.”
Twenty pounds is a healthy weight for a cat? When one of my cats got up to 13 pounds, my veterinarian had a conniption — she gave me a big lecture on how I needed to feed the cat less and make her exercise more. Even gave me a lot of unsolicited advice as to how, exactly, one forces a cat to exercise. Which I ignored. I don’t keep cats as companions so that I can waste my time trying to make them exercise! I changed vets.
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Good idea.I’ve never yet seen a cat you could make do anything he didn’t want to do.
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Our vet told us that we should be BRUSHING OUR CAT’S TEETH. She is the meanest, most attack-prone, half-feral cat I’ve ever known, and her hatred has not mellowed with age. Riiiiight. That’s gonna happen…
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Haha! My old vet told me to brush my cats’ teeth too. It was only with great effort that I kept myself from bursting into hysterical laughter.
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Maybe this is why I prefer dogs. I can actually make them do stuff. I relieves a lot of my left-over “nailing jello to a tree” (aka, parenting teens) angst.
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Louisiana man facing charges after riding his horse into a bar and lassoing a man outside
After I came of age,a neighbor friend and I used to saddle up on Saturday afternoon sometimes and ride to the nearest tavern.We traded drinks for rides around the parking lot until we were properly stewed and hoped the horses were sober enough to find their way home.
http://dailycaller.com/2013/08/14/louisiana-man-facing-charges-after-riding-his-horse-into-a-bar-and-lassoing-a-man-outside/
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::imagining the morning after when Pete woke up still on his horse, with his mouth full of mane and a saddle horn bruise in his gut::
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Attention Media: Dummy Wearing George H.W. Bush Mask Attacked By Bull at 1994 Rodeo
Nobody even raised an eyebrow
http://newsbusters.org/blogs/noel-sheppard/2013/08/13/attention-media-dummy-wearing-george-hw-bush-mask-attacked-bull-durin#ixzz2c9ersTMv
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Vive la double standard!
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Its the only standard liberals have.
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I saw comments supporting the IRS targeting right wingers, cuz you know like duh, those racist bastards like totally deserve it.
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BAMSTER’S AMBULANCE RUNS OUT OF GAS
there’s a metaphor in there somewhere
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The POTUS limo driver put the wrong fuel in the tank one time too. I’m thinking their hires are largely Affirmative Action. The Qualified Need Not Apply.
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Bra sizes of female Detroit cops mistakenly emailed to officers
Did you seriously think I’d miss a story about ladies’ ta-tas?
http://www.myfoxdetroit.com/story/23118642/bra-sizes-of-female-detroit-cops-mistakenly-emailed-to-officers#ixzz2c9fr37Ht
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“mistakenly” … ummmmmmmmmmmmmm, I doubt it. LOL
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Woman stands by a busy road with a sign begging for motorists to help buy her bigger breasts
Not even close
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2389191/Woman-takes-busy-roadside-sign-begging-bigger-BOOBS.html
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ER patients agree: Malt liquor is the way to go
I never had a taste for beer…I just didn’t like it
http://dailycaller.com/2013/08/15/4-of-5-er-patients-agree-malt-liquor-is-the-way-to-go/#ixzz2c9hNxAiY
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Man arrested for DUI attempts to urinate out the window of a moving police cruiser and instead sprays the inside of the vehicle
That’s what drinking beer can get you
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2392131/Man-arrested-DUI-attempts-urinate-window-moving-police-cruiser-instead-sprays-inside-car.html#ixzz2c9i0KhcS
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Billboards give wrong date for Detroit election
Not a problem…Detroiters will vote on Sept. 2 AND Nov. 5.its only legal in certain cities.
http://bostonherald.com/news_opinion/offbeat_news/2013/08/billboards_give_wrong_date_for_detroit_election
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CONFESS…WHO AMONG US DIDN’T ABUSE THEIR KIDS WITH THIS TRICK?
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Me. I feel exactly like that baby. It said at the top the kid had seen the toy only once and I could see on his face he was NOT happy about hearing that tune, because he had had a taste of what happened at the end.
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Beware the testicle-biting fish, Swedish men are told after relative of the piranha appears in Nordic waters
If you’re going swimming on your next Scandinavian trip,pack a stainless steel jockstrap.Just sayin’
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2388811/Beware-testicle-biting-fish-Swedish-men-told-relative-piranha-appears-Nordic-waters.html#ixzz2c9k7CxQt
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Pepsi-flavored Cheetos on shelves in Japan: Coming to the U.S.?
I saw Lay’s new chicken and waffle flavored chips this morning at one of my store deliveries.They even sounded yucky.
http://www.latimes.com/features/food/dailydish/la-dd-pepsi-flavored-cheetos-20130815,0,5513075.story
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Pepsi chips? NEVER. I ate a chicken and waffle chip, though. They sounded yucky to me too, but curiosity overrode my better judgment. It tasted basically like salty bouillon and cheap maple syrup, or in other words, a total abomination.
Chicken and waffles as a meal in their true form, though? Yum.
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I can see one purpose for this stuff. It probably NEVER spoils, so you can keep a bag of it on hand, with a few cans of the equally vile celery flavored soda. Nobody will touch it, so it’ll be there for when people you dislike drop in and you really want them to leave and not come back.
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Dating Site Offers Three Chicago Couples Free Divorces
http://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/20130814/chicago/dating-site-offers-three-chicago-couples-free-divorces
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So they can what … be single again and sign up for the dating service? This is almost as offensive as the abortions on Sunday coupons.
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I BRING YOU A TRILOGY OF STORIES ABOUT THE AWESOME POWER OF LOVE…KEEP SOME KLEENEX HANDY
Paralyzed bride’s tears of joy as she keeps her vow of walking down the aisle on her wedding day
God put Jared in Stevie’s life for a reason
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2392902/Paralyzed-brides-tears-joy-keeps-vow-walking-aisle-wedding-day.html#ixzz2c9nFqXMx
Woman who fell in love with first responder who saved her life stares down ex-boyfriend in court as he pleads guilty to stabbing her 32 times
May Melissa’s ex rot in hell
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2393635/Melissa-Dohme-Woman-fell-love-responder-saved-life-stares-ex-boyfriend-court-pleads-guilty-stabbing-32-times.html#ixzz2c9o89UAA
Something borrowed, something new: The amazing bond between 911 operator who loaned wedding dress to bride who called to report hers stolen
Sometimes things happen just because they’re supposed to.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2395711/911-operator-Candice-gets-new-friend-Amanda-visits-return-dress.html#ixzz2c9ogE6lC
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Bad idea trying to eat while reading these! :o)““““““ I love that Stevie had PINK handles on her walker! 🙂 And the loaned dress fit perfectly!!
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Some people have way too much time/money on their hands
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I got indigestion just watching that one, Pete.
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This could feed a small African village.Or Michelle Obama,whichever you got.
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What are you talking about, Woman? Indigestion? I’m so hungry after watching that, I may not be able to finish off the work day. Maybe I can get Gruntessa to bring back a half-dozen double bacon cheeseburgers on her way home… At least I can go check the beer supply right now and make sure we’re adequately stocked for later. 🙂
But one correction: there are a few places that offer more expensive hamburgers. I’ve seen $100 burgers at least twice, one being the Hamburger Hamlet in Cupertino, CA on Stevens Creek Parkway. It’s no longer there, dangit. They had a really good cheeseburger that came with a bottle of Dom Perignon for a C-note. The other place… I forgot.
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ROFL
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We have a Five Guys and a Red Robin here in town.Can’t afford to go to either one of them.We have to save up to go to Golden Corral at 4PM for the senior discount.Now if they ever build a White Castle in our town all bets are off….diabetes or not.
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I’m with ya there. We hit the White Castle pretty hard when we were in Indiana last month. Five Guys is good, but pricey, like you say. I should have pointed out that I never actually attempted to buy one of those $100 cheeseburgers. That would be a waste of about $95, especially since I have no use for fancy champagne. I’m a little ashamed to say, but I most often end up with the McDouble off the dollar menu. Can’t beat that number of calories for a buck, when you’re hungry.
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I like just REMEMBERING how good it tasted and skip the eating part, since that always ended up with me feeling like death warmed over for the whole night.
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