Added by Pistol Pete
REMEMBER WHEN THE LIBERALS THOUGHT THIS WAS FUNNY AS HELL?
NBC News report: Warning if you take photos with your cell phone
WATCH to the end for a super simple way to disable the problem setting!
The mother AND the aunt left a 2- and a 3-year-old ALONE to run an errand. One of them couldn’t stay home? Neither of them had sense enough to think toddlers need constant supervision? Even worse, dear Auntie says she has no regrets about leaving the kids alone. Her big regret about them dying in the fire is their share of the food stamps will stop coming.
My niece responded to my Miracles Thread blog with this delightful true story and gave permission for me to share it with all y’all.
I was in my first year of grad school and had finished with morning classes. Generally, I went straight to my on-campus job, but for some reason, I went home that day and I heard the message Dad had left on my answering machine.
He was on a business trip that wasn’t supposed to put him anywhere near me, but his flight had been changed at the last minute, so he would be stopping over briefly at an airport about 100 miles from my campus.
Being Dad, he added, “Now don’t drive 100 mph to get there! If it doesn’t work out, don’t worry!” By the time I received the message, Dad’s plane was boarding, so I did not know if this would all work out. Nonetheless, I was going to try to take the opportunity.
So, I called work, and despite my giving them less than 20 minutes notice, they said it was not a problem if I took the afternoon off!
I did not have a car that year, but there was a shuttle company in town which took people to the airport. Generally, you would schedule your rides several weeks in advance to allow them time to map out the best route. Still, I called, and they said that they just happened to have space for me on a shuttle that would be passing my apartment in 20 minutes!
When Dad got off the plane, I was there to greet him, and we enjoyed the unexpected gift of lunch together. When I think of the four “small miracles” that all happened in a short space of time to make that lunch happen, I have to marvel at how tender and personal God’s love for us is.
This story reminded me of something similar from my own grad school days.
I showed up to a late morning class only to find a sign on the door that it had been cancelled. Having a few hours unexpectedly free, I decided to treat myself to lunch at a little bagel shop I liked.
While I was waiting for my order, I heard a familiar voice from my past … my first steady boyfriend was sitting on the other side of the room! I hadn’t seen him since he graduated from high school a year ahead of me, so this was … mmm … seven years later? Something like that.
I called to him and we decided to eat at the same table and catch up. He quickly steered the conversation to the Big Thing that was on his mind … faith.
His only sister, with whom he was especially close, had become a Born Again Christian and was encouraging him to do the same. But he also had a lot of friends who were into Buddhism and he felt torn.
He asked me what I thought and I said I’d lay the two side by side and pick the one that was better.
He acted rather offended at the idea that one might be better than the other.
I replied that if you’re going to commit your entire life to a particular path, shouldn’t it be the best one you can find?
He nodded thoughtfully and we parted on that note. I don’t know what choices he made for his life, but I have often wondered just how much organizing our guardian angels had to do to put us in that bagel shop at the exact same time that day!
Nov 2, 2007: The Onion reports “Mel Brooks Starts New Foundation: Schmucks for Schmuck”
NEW YORK—Saying he could no longer stand idly by while a vital part of American culture is lost forever, activist and Broadway producer Mel Brooks has founded a private nonprofit organization dedicated to preserving the word “schmuck.”
An emotional Brooks stopped short of kvetching at a schmuck fundraiser Monday.
“Schmuck is dying,” a sober Brooks said during a 2,000-person rally held in his hometown of Williamsburg, Brooklyn Monday. “For many of us, saying ‘schmuck’ is a way of life. Yet when I walk down the street and see people behaving in foolish, pathetic, or otherwise schmucky ways, I hear only the words ‘prick’ and ‘douche bag.’ I just shake my head and think, ‘I don’t want to live in a world like this.'”
The nonprofit, Schmucks For Schmuck, has compiled schmuck-related data from the past 80 years and conducted its own independent research on contemporary “schmuck” usage.
According to Brooks, the statistics are frightening: Utterances of the word “schmuck” have declined every year since its peak in 1951, and in 2006, the word was spoken a mere 28 times—17 of these times by Brooks himself.
The study indicates that today, when faced with a situation in which one can use a targeted or self-deprecating insult to convey a general feeling of disgust, people are 50 times more likely to use the word “jerk” than “schmuck,” 100 times more likely to use “dick,” and 15,000 times more likely to use “fucking asshole.”
Perhaps more startling, only 23 percent of men know what schmuck means, and only 1.2 percent of these men are under the age of 78.
If such trends continue, Brooks estimates that by 2011, such lesser-used terms as “imbecile,” “dummy,” “schlub,” and “contemptible ne’er-do-well” will all surpass schmuck, which is projected to completely disappear by the year 2020 or whenever Brooks dies.
“We must save this word!” Brooks said to thunderous applause as those in attendance began chanting “Schmuck! Schmuck! Schmuck!”
“How will we be able to charmingly describe someone who acts in an inappropriate manner? Especially given the tragic loss of the word ‘schmegeggie’ in 2001. So I urge you: Tonight, when you get home, please, call up your family, your friends, your loved ones, and tell them they’re a bunch of schmucks.”
“The world cannot afford to lose this valuable and versatile word,” Brooks told reporters during a charity auction in Manhattan’s Upper West Side Tuesday, where attendees bid for the chance to have a private lunch with Brooks and repeatedly call him a schmuck. “You can be a poor schmuck, a lazy schmuck, a dumb schmuck, or just a plain old schmuck. A group of people can be collectively referred to as schmucks. You can call someone a schmuck, and you can be called a schmuck. You can even call yourself a schmuck.”
“Plus, it’s just so fun to say,” Brooks added. “Schmuck.”
To brush up on your Yiddish, go to http://thomer.com/yiddish/
Just in the S section, I found several I recognized, like shiva, shikseh and shmuts, plus some I knew the meaning of but did not realize were Yiddish, like shlep, shlub, shlump, shmaltz and shnook.
And for those inquiring minds wondering the subtle differences between these:
H/t Jim Walter