Daily Archives: March 1, 2013

Dennis Meets The Menace Plus Mad Maxine Yaps Again

Democrat Leadership at Its Usual

2013_03 01 Dennis and the Menace

Maxine Waters says sequestration will cost “170 Million jobs” [2:19]

   Fact Checking Maxine:

  • 156.5 million Americans have jobs.
  • When she says “cuts”, what she really means is “we won’t get as big an increase as we asked for.”

SEQUESTER DOOMSDAY [1:18]

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Filed under Democrats, Maxine Waters, North Korea, Sequester

Sequester Apocalypse meets Obama Sci Fi Quotes – Hee hee!

Fun @ #SequesterApocalypse and #ObamaSciFiQuotes because if I don’t laugh, I’m going to cry.

  • Obama just told us, “I can’t do a Jedi mind-meld.”
  • When did Princess Leia have a baby with Mr. Spock?
  • Due to sequestration cuts, Star Wars and Star Trek have been merged.
  • Obama confusing Star Wars and Star Trek reminds me of when he confused not hiring lobbyists for hiring lobbyists.
  • “Look, if I knew what Spider-Man’s Kryptonite was, I’d definitely send Spawn on a mission to find it. But it’s hard.”
  • Damn it, Jim. I’m the president, not a dictator.
  • Nixon: “I am NOT a crook.” Obama: “I am NOT a dictator.”
  • Obama’s not a dictator? Oh right. He’s Darth Spock.
  • Make that Darth Evader.
  • Luke Fly-Stalker.
  • Anakin Lietalker.
  • Obi-Wan Youoweme.
  • Darth Taxus.
  • Because of the sequester, the feds will be spending 2.4% less than the 5% more they were planning on spending.
  • They’re increasing spending by 2.6%, but “cuts” are going to happen in vital services?
  • This is no doubt due to Obama’s lack of a Jedi mother and Vulcan father.
  • The farce is strong with this one.
  • Obama says the sequester will force us to lay off meat inspectors. But we can still afford to send $60M to Syria.
  • The needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many.
  • Because of the sequester, the dead have arisen from their graves and are eating the brains of the living.
  • For some reason, they are leaving Joe Biden alone.
  • Obama says Republicans sit around all day hoping bridges will collapse on children and the elderly.
  • Krauthammer: Obama Only Left Out “Pestilence, Earthquake, Brimstone And Plague”
  • The #SequesterApocalypse will be as damaging as #Y2K was.
  • Oh noes! Set your phasers on warp speed.
  • Maxine Waters will have to move to Guam & it will finally tip over from the 170 million job losses.
  • Moochelle might be forced to wear a designer outfit more than once!
  • Make it so, Chewbacca.
  • Deodorant and soap will disappear from shelves at midnight. The world as we know it will stink.
  • I should stop tweeting and make sure my gas mask fits properly.
  • Starbucks only has one working bathroom & my fiber is kicking in too soon. Damn you, #SequesterApocalypse!
  • If only Homer were here to chronicle #SequesterApocalypse as the rosy fingered dawn touched this fateful day.

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Just in case all the funnies put you in too good of a mood, you can go read a list of 20 things the ObamaCo could NOT BEAR to CUT from the federal budget @ http://theeconomiccollapseblog.com/archives/government-waste-20-of-the-craziest-things-that-the-u-s-government-is-spending-money-on

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Filed under Barack Obama, Sequester

Obamageddon

It’s Day One of #SequesterApocalypse! A few choice tweets collected from Twitter this morning:

Breaking: The dead have arisen from their graves and are eating the brains of the living… Biden unthreatened…

Obama: whatever happens, it’s Republicans’ fault. Media: whatever happens, it’s Republicans’ fault.

Beware. We are all losing our jobs, and 20 million of us will lose our jobs twice, according to Maxine Waters.

90 minutes into sequester. Power’s still on, internet’s still up, no sign of looters. Guess I can put the Glock away.

Interns are burning regulations and tax code for warmth, estimated reserves are nearly 100 years.

If only Homer were here to chronicle #SequesterApocalypse as the rosy-fingered dawn touched this fateful day.

In honor of sequester, today I will spend 2.4% less than the 5% more I was planning on spending. Still 40% on credit.

Just remember, somewhere today kittens are being euthanized and it’s all the Republicans’ fault.

Dept. of Agriculture cuts diversity trainer’s salary to $1million. Zombie acceptance seminars still mandatory.

Even though the nation will be enduring #SequesterApocalypse, the murder rate in Chicago will remain unaffected. Congrats, Rahm!

Michelle Obama asked that #SequesterApocalypse be made a federal holiday so she can take one more vacation.

Sent my kids to school, but they’ll probably be bored without teachers.

Is this #SequesterApocalypse gonna be anything like Y2K? Because I have a lot of canned goods which I also didn’t use for the #FiscalCliff.

170 million lost their jobs and Guam has capsized. Oh the humanity!

Will I still get free birth control?

I cut my shower time down 2%, doing my part.

Arugula will disappear from Trader Joe’s.

Scattered reports of teachers beating up students & stealing their lunch money. Details at 11 if we survive that long.

Moochelle will be forced to wear a designer outfit more than once.

After #SequesterApocalypse hits, you’ll no longer be able to breeze thru the DMV in 4 short hours.

Forgot to buy toilet paper for the bunker. Gonna have to use the Obama poster.

My colleagues and I are playing Rock Paper Scissors over who gets to cannibalize the undergraduates.

This just in: submarines are sinking in the ocean due to the #SequesterApocalypse!

Heavily armed in my basement. Let me know when spending exceeds 2011 levels and it’s safe to resurface.

There’s still millions of dollars to study the mating habits of 3-toed pygmy albino river otters, right?

Release federal prisoners, ground all flights, close national parks, but don’t touch my Obamaphone!

Funding for Nancy Pelosi’s cosmetic surgery cut. Get ready for real horror!

OMG the sky is falling! Oh wait, it’s just snow.

Obama cutting back to just 6 days a week of skeet shooting.

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Filed under Funny Stuff