Life is precious

Today, author Gavin McInnes slammed abortion by tweeting his kids’ remarks during the day. Twitchy posted the tweets. I’ve added some pics and a link at the end that might save you a trip or three to the ER someday.

I have my own stories, one about a might-be-broken arm (it wasn’t), one about a might-need-stitches gash (it did) and a third about a might-be-suffocating wheeze (a trip out into the frigid winter air cleared it right up). But I had to parent pre-internet, when getting free medical advice meant conning some nervous-about-getting-sued health care professional into actually telling you something useful over the telephone. Parents today are So Spoiled!

Anyway, enough of that. On to the CUTE stuff. FYI: Gavin’s daughter Sophie is about 5 yo and his son Duncan is maybe 3. (Last February, they were 4 and 2.)

Gavin McInnes and Duncan

28 Dec 12: Gavin McInnes @Gavin_McInnes

I’m going to Tweet my kids’ quotes for a day so you can see how lame abortion is.

“I want to get healthy and drink milk because I’m going to fight you in a few days.” -Daughter

“That’s the way it was back in the old days. You had to fight before you eat.” -Son

“Thank you, cow” daughter after drinking from milk carton. “Don’t drop this cow’s guts” to brother.

“Scientists say: When you read a book of love, you just fall apart.” -Son

“I wish you were fried chicken.” -Daughter

“I’m hungry to the touch.” -Son

“It’s the world to give, my darling.” -Son handing me a drawing of a castle

“When great granny gets to be 100, is she going to be taller than you?” -Son

“Oh I get it. He has tricks that I don’t have.” -Son

He has tricks

“What if the principal at my school was named Ms. Chickanoodoo?” -Son (laughing)

“I’m not crying. When it’s really cold, my eyes get sweaty.” -Son (outside)

“I have to go poo and I want YOU to wipe my butt.” -Son (said like my wife just won something) <– My favorite!

Now all you parents of very young people, go read this. You might need to know it someday.



Filed under Funny Stuff, Little Sprouts

10 responses to “Life is precious

  1. Violet

    These quotes are adorable! I have a younger sister who was also an excellent one-liner machine as a toddler. When asked why she continued to wet her pants despite months of toilet training, she replied, “well, the pee comes out very close to the pants.”


    • chrissythehyphenated

      ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL My mother bucked the dependence on Dr. Spock and early toilet training movement that is now blamed for widespread neuroses.

      In her opinion, if you couldn’t explain toileting to the kid, then the kid was not ready to use one. It made sense to me, so I just waited until my kids were ready.

      I recall explaining one day to my very bright, very verbal eldest about how much more comfortable she’d be in panties. She listened, then smacked both palms firmly on her hips and said, “Mommy? I lahka mah doppers!”

      Probably just as well I told that story a million times, because Lil Buzz is now taking his own sweet time not only with toileting, but also with talking. He’s gonna get evaluated for the speech thing, but he clearly understands and we’ve heard him vocalize, so we know he can hear and say sounds.

      I think he just can’t be bothered to share his opinions with the world. His dad is like that too. Very deep, thoughtful guy, but he doesn’t talk unless and until he’s got something worth saying. Bunny, now, is like her mom and I predict she will not only talk early and incessantly (as her mother did), but that her talking will induce Buzz to finally use his words in self defense! LOL

      I hope it is soon, because Mama Buzz remarked just this week how much she is looking forward to hearing what is going on inside her kids’ heads!


      • I was always eager for my kids to start talking, since from the time they were born I was always wondering what was going on in their little minds. The toilet training I was a lot more laid back about. I was too lazy to employ any of the methods then in vogue that required a lot of work and effort on the part of the parent. If you just wait until they’re ready, then it becomes very easy.

        But I do recall being impatient for them to talk, and my son was a late talker. He could build the most elaborate and imaginative three-dimensional structures out of Legos, so I knew his brain was hard at work, but talking just wasn’t a big priority with him. Once he finally started talking, he had a rather severe speech impediment, which made it difficult for anyone outside our immediate family to understand him. Because he was so big for his age, people assumed he was retarded (not an unreasonable assumption for them to make, since at 3 years old he looked like he was 5 or 6 but talked like a baby). Some people thought I should put him in speech therapy and special ed, but it was obvious to me that he was a perfectly intelligent little kid who just heard a different drummer, so I resisted the pressure. He eventually outgrew the speech impediment and learned to communicate just fine. He was late learning to read, too, but when he finally got the hang of it, he made up for lost time and began devouring books by the hundreds. Kids have their own schedules for things, and every kid is different. You can make childhood into a constant battle by trying to force them to conform to some arbitrary schedule based on averages derived from research by so-called experts… or you can relax and let them do things at their own pace, which makes the whole process a lot less stressful and a lot more fun.


        • chrissythehyphenated

          You are a wise mom. Your kids were lucky to get you!


          • Well, aren’t you sweet!♡

            Actually, I think motherhood is one of the few occupations where certain faults come in handy — in my case, laziness. A lot of times, people thought I should DO SOMETHING about a “problem” I was having with one of my little ones — something they defined as a problem, but which I saw as just normal childish behavior that they would outgrow if I left them alone. I got so much unsolicited advice from women who thought I was doing everything wrong and ruining my kids! I usually listened politely, then just ignored the advice… and 99% of the time, doing nothing ended up being the best course of action (or inaction). I gave my kids plenty of love (which was very easy to do), and I read to them all the time (which is the most fun part of having kids), but apart from that I wasn’t a very hard-working mother. I figured they’d grow up plenty fast on their own without any pressure from me to do so. About that, at least, I was right. 🙂


            • chrissythehyphenated

              My sister is a very skilled elementary school teacher. The “Mr. Chips” things runs deep in my gene pool … like my high school teaching brother, she’s also won awards, even got to go to Space Camp once!

              She was explaining a stage of cognitive development her pre-schooler was working on, that involved sequencing instructions. She talked about telling her dd one instruction at a time … go over to the television … and when she got there … find the row of buttons … point to the biggest one … push that. Then she remarked wryly how it took a lot longer to do it this way than to just get up and turn on the t.v. herself, (long time ago obviously! LOL), but “Fortunately, we’re very lazy.” LOL

              She and Mr. Chips both had kids before me, so I got to observe and learn. He said two things I took very much to heart. One was “you can’t be a good parent unless you’re willing to make a jackass of yourself in public.” He was so right. Doing what was best for the child sometimes meant major embarrassment or, as you say, getting unsolicited criticism.

              The other thing he told me was about having let his diapered toddler fall on her bum once and what he told his fil who criticized him for it. “Better she fall off that little stoop on to that carpeted floor while I’m here watching than I run over and help her so she gets the idea she’s ready for climbing and does it somewhere really dangerous.”

              That exact thing happened to me with Mama Buzz and Dearest’s doting, interfering aunties one holiday. I had gone to great lengths to teach her to do stairs backwards. We didn’t have safe stairs to practice on, so I took her somewhere that did. I never carried her or let her walk on the stairs. She had to go up and down on hands and knees.

              But we got to this family thing where the den was two small carpeted steps down from the dining room and every time she got near the steps, some auntie would rush over and take her hand and help her walk down. I could see this cocky look growing on her face and it scared me. So I begged them to STOP HELPING HER. One was outraged and said I acted like I wanted her to fall.

              Pointing to the little carpeted step, I said, “I do want her to fall THERE, so she doesn’t get the idea she’s ready for stairs and tries to do them by herself THERE or THERE.” The other two sets of stairs in that house were a single, long and very steep set up to the 2d floor and the 7 concrete steps from the front porch down to the concrete sidewalk. The critic BLANCHED and said, “I never thought of that.” They stopped helping.


              • So true… you have to be willing to let them fall. Not always the easiest thing to do! Once again, being basically lazy helps. 🙂

                In our first house, we had hard wooden steps going down to the basement, with a concrete floor at the bottom. Sure enough, my firstborn went down the stairs in one of those little collapsible baby walkers that have since become illegal because they’re so unsafe. She bounced all the way down and landed on her head on the concrete floor. Fortunately, no permanent damage was done, and very little temporary damage. I guess she had an unusually hard skull.

                We built the house we live in now shortly after our son was born, and I insisted that the stairway be carpeted. All our kids fell down those steps many times, without suffering anything worse than a little rug burn.


                • chrissythehyphenated

                  My middle one rode her sister’s toy motorcycle down our uncarpeted steps, landed on her head on the flagstones at the bottom. I blame myself. I KNEW she had to be told everything 3 times before she’d obey and I only told her once to keep the motorcycle away from the stairwell. She proved that day and many times since that she has a hard head and a high tolerance for pain. But her sister has never quite forgiven her for totaling the motorcycle! LOL