THE CHRISSY’S BIRTHDAY GRUDGE

Posted by Pistol Pete

Given the trials you face every day I thought the best gift I could send you was the gift of laughter.Hope you enjoyed your day!

The Obama campaign advance team said yesterday in view of the poorly attended kickoff rally the next event will be held at Goldie’s Tattoo and Massage Parlor in Chillicothe,Ohio.Good seats are still available and a luncheon may be served depending on whether or not Moochele shows up.

On Sunday Joe Biden declared he is “perfectly comfortable” with gay marriage.He also stated he preferred KY jelly as a lubricant and favors Cover Girl base makeup to hide the whisker burns.

Elizabeth Warren,looking to burnish her Native American cred,changed her name to Princess Squat-en-got-it.Her great-great-great grandmother was married to Chief Rain-in-the-Face.Her name was Princess Pain-in-the-Ass.

Obama announced plans today to increase our strategic oil reserve by wringing out Debbie Washerwoman-Schultz’ hair.

Yesterday the CIA uncovered a plot to make more underwear bombs in Yemen.They were tipped off when an informant showed them a pair of shorts that were labeled Fruit of the Boom.

In a related case,a suspected terrorist was detained aboard a US-bound flight when a flight attendant noticed him squirming in his seat and suspected him of smuggling small fur-bearing rodents.Air Marshals found an explosive device in his underwear along with a fig, two dates and a half-eaten goatcheese and olive sandwich.

ADDED BY CtH … I went looking for a ROFL graphic to thank you for the belly laughs but none of the pics spoke to me. Then I found this, which made me howl, so here you go, Pete. ROFLMAO!!

33 Comments

Filed under Funny Stuff

33 responses to “THE CHRISSY’S BIRTHDAY GRUDGE

  1. Pistol Pete

    FOR YOU,CHRISSY

    Like

  2. Pistol Pete

    TERRORISTS DEFENSE ATTORNEY DEMANDS ALL WOMEN WEAR HIJABS IN COURT(OUT OF RESPECT FOR THE PIGS ON TRIAL)
    The female prosecutors ignored her,but one guy did show up in a black robe and a Darth Vader mask and kept saying: “Mustafa,I’m your father.”
    http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2012/05/terrorist-defense-attorney-cheryl-bormann-demands-all-women-wear-hijabs-to-court-video/

    Like

  3. Pistol Pete

    IN NEW BIOGRAPHY,OBAMA ASKS: ‘AM I AN AMERICAN?’
    No,but you’re still an asshole
    http://campaign2012.washingtonexaminer.com/article/new-biography-obama-asks-am-i-american/526196

    Like

  4. Pistol Pete

    EU VOTERS NIX AUSTERITY,ALTHOUGH IT’S NEVER BEEN TRIED
    Hollande won by promising everybody everything.When I was in 8th grade,Artie Butler ran for class president promising more recess,less homework and a candy machine in the cafeteria.Artie Butler turned out to be a democrat.
    http://news.investors.com/article/610596/201205071832/european-voters-swallow-media-myth-of-budget-austerity.htm

    Like

  5. Pistol Pete

    JUSTICE FOR SALE AT HOLDER’S DOJ
    They won’t investigate corrupt banks whose law firms employ DOJ lawyers.It’s the Chicago Way.
    http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2012/05/07/justice-for-sale-holder

    Like

  6. Pistol Pete

    IF THERE WERE ANY JUSTICE THE ONLY SECOND TERM THIS FAT BASTARD WOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT WOULD INVOLVE ORANGE JUMPSUITS AND EXERCISE PERIODS

    Like

    • GP

      All part of his grand scheme to “funnamenally” change America to his view of Utopia.
      Why the hell do so many idiots still not get it!

      Like

  7. Pistol Pete

    THE PLANNED REELECTION OF OBAMA–REVOLUTIONARY STYLE
    The frightening thing is he may get away with it if we are not vigilant
    http://www.canadafreepress.com/index.php/article/46516

    Like

  8. Pistol Pete

    OBAMA TARGETS THE TEA PARTY
    The feeling is mutual
    http://spectator.org/archives/2012/05/08/obama-targets-the-tea-party

    Like

  9. Pistol Pete

    IF OBAMA WINS,WHAT WOULD HE DO IN A SECOND TERM?
    We must make sure we never have to find out.
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/if-obama-wins-what-would-he-do-in-a-second-term/2012/05/04/gIQANPsx1T_print.html

    Like

  10. Pistol Pete

    TAPPER:HOW ABOUT YOU CUT THE CRAP AND COME OUT AND ADMIT OBAMA SUPPORTS GAY MARRIAGE?

    Like

  11. Pistol Pete

    WASHERWOMAN-DOLTZ: ‘I’VE EARNED MY CADILLAC HEALTHCARE COVERAGE’
    Fine.Jump in that Cadillac and drive your scrawny ass to Cuba.
    http://www.examiner.com/article/rep-wasserman-schultz-says-she-earned-cadillac-healthcare-coverage

    Like

  12. Pistol Pete

    MISSING:$400 PURSE WITH $200 BILLFOLD,$800 CASH, AAAAAND FOODSTAMPS!
    Is this a great country,or what?
    http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=51338

    Like

  13. Pistol Pete

    A PARTY SHOWDOWN IN INDIANA,DEMOCRATS GEAR FOR WISCONSIN RECALL
    Mourdock still leading Lugar
    Lugar counting on Samoan and Tajikistani votes to put him over the top
    Lugar promises if he wins he’ll use a GPS to find where his Indiana home is located.
    http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2012/05/08/Tea-Party-Showdown-in-Indiana-Democrats-Gear-for-WIsconsin-Recall

    Like

  14. Pistol Pete

    REP. KAREN BASS:FOOD STAMPS GOOD FOR SMALL BUSINESS
    A lot of people trade their food stamps for drugs.Is drug dealing a small business?

    Like

    • chrissythehyphenated

      Depends how many people the CEO has in his drug ring, wouldn’t it? I believe the cut off between small and big business is 500. Then there is the confusing issue of whether the various cartels are each a single, multi-national mega-businesses that employ and sub-contract growers, processors, transporters, security, bulk distributors and local point of sale outlets. Oh, and the small issue of them being so shy about filing 1099s and whatnot.

      Like

  15. Pistol Pete

    LOSSES AT ORCA’S NETWORK APPROACH $330 MILLION
    Spokesman says she’s practicing to be a Democrat senator
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2140773/Oprahs-OWN-network-Losses-approach-330m-amid-predictions-axed-year.html

    Like

  16. What A Hoot

    Happy Birthday, Chrissy!!!!!

    Like

  17. What A Hoot

    Say what? Can’t sell these in US? Is this video a hoax? VW PASSAT 78.5 MPG (IMPERIAL GALLON) 65 US MPG… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBnlXGvA1Wk&feature=youtube_gdata_player

    Like

    • What A Hoot

      A comment left on youtube video
      “I have a VW Polo Bluemotion 2008 model in the UK. I averaged 70.3 mpg (UK Gal) on the very first road trip I made in it from Scotland to Dorset (400-ish miles). In regards to emissions; this car is exempted from road tax (yearly license fee) here in the UK due to its low emissions. I am a US citizen living over here and it makes me angry that I can not buy this car back int he USA. High mileage & low emissions from modern diesels are facts!”

      Like

      • Ting

        My father in law and his brothers always swore by diesels, which they learned to appreciate while in Europe during WWII. In fact, one of them had a station wagon that was a diesel imported from the UK about 15 years ago.

        Like

    • A Mindful Webworker

      Hoot, thanks for posting this! Since they said on the radio this morning that gas went up 14¢/G overnight, it was especially… energizing to have this new knowledge!

      I’ve embedded the video on my site’s Transportation section, (with a hat-tip link to Hoot’s message).

      Blog techies note: just realized I could reverse the width and height on one of those annoying vertical videos, and the embed looks much better without left & right side letterboxing. 😀

      Like

  18. chrissythehyphenated

    Thanks, Pete! I enjoyed my day off.

    A friend came with a bush for our yard. She also cooked us a delicious dinner and sat with us while we watched “I’m No Dummy”, a funny documentary about ventriloquism.

    Two of the girls called and the third emailed, says she’s hoping she can get in the local phone queue sometimes this week-end.

    Such a nice, relaxing day filled with love, good food, and laughter.

    And bonus … this morning over breakfast, Dearest and I finally found a spot in the landscape plan where we can BOTH like the new bush.

    NOW he gets to go DIG the hole, which is my present from him. 🙂

    Like

  19. Pistol Pete

    I can think of nothing in the world of any value,save that which we share with those we love.Thats from my heart.Have a beautiful day!

    Like

  20. FranklytheNut

    Happy Birthday, Chrissy. LOL, Pete, “Fruit of the Boom”!

    Like

  21. Happy birthday Chrissy!

    (Did you know you share a birthday with Tchaikovsky?)

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  22. Chrissy…so sorry I’m late to the party. I’ve just been overwhelmed and exhausted lately. It seems the closer you get to the end of the school year, the more homework they send home. But then, you’ve probably been there and done that! (I’m also trying to get caught up on my spring planting, which I should have done two months ago when I was busy doing taxes and other such nonsense…which, of course, I should have done the month before. It never ends.) Happy After-Birthday, anyway!! I hope it was a good one!

    Like

  23. I hope it’s not too late to wish you a Happy Birthday, Chrissy!

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  24. What A Hoot

    Two links to share today. http://hackwilson.blogspot.com/2012/04/forward-communist-slogan-now-adopted-by.html

    And breaking — Wiki deletes write up about “forward” slogan historical ties to communism, socialism, and marxism! http://hackwilson.blogspot.com/2012/04/forward-communist-slogan-now-adopted-by.html

    Like