THE MONDAY GRUDGE

Posted by Pistol Pete

I’m feeling Goofy today.(Don’t tell Minnie Mouse,she’ll get jealous.)

George “Goober” Lindsey,star of the Andy Griffith Show died yesterday.He was 83 years ols.He is survived by his half-brother, ‘Goober Junior’,also known as the Vice President of the United States.

Sarah Jessica Parker was at the Kentucky Derby Saturday.She finished a disappointing 7th,blaming it on her new shoes.

Obama has invited the new French president to the White Hut for a visit.Obama plans to give him a signed copy of his book,the Pomposity of Dope.

Hollande will give Obama a gallon of suntan lotion.

I thought these up this morning while I was delivering the papers.If you like them,I could try to post a few as events warrant.

50 Comments

Filed under Loose Pollen

50 responses to “THE MONDAY GRUDGE

  1. Pistol Pete

    MUSLIM BROTHERHOOD WANTS OBAMA REELECTED
    They could hold a banquet in his honor after they raid the nearest animal shelter.
    http://www.americanthinker.com/2012/05/muslim_brotherhood_wants_to_re-elect_barack_hussein_obama.html

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  2. Pistol Pete

    McCAIN SAYS HE PICKED PALIN BECAUSE SHE WAS ‘WELL-QUALIFIED.’
    Nooo,you picked her because conservatives found your campaign as dull as dishwater and knew who and what you were.You used her to raise money and when you figured out she was infinitely more popular than you your staff set about sabotaging her efforts to actually win.Piss off home,you doddering old fraud.
    http://thehill.com/video/senate/225629-mccain-says-he-picked-palin-because-she-was-well-qualified

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  3. Pistol Pete

    DEMOCRATS FANTASIZE ABOUT RETAKING THE HOUSE
    They have two chances left–slim and none.Fat already left town.
    http://townhall.com/tipsheet/kevinglass/2012/05/05/democrats_fantasizing_about_retaking_the_house

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  4. Pistol Pete

    OBAMA ABANDONS US CONSULATE IN AFGHANISTAN–IT’S TOO DANGEROUS
    We used to scrape the likes of him off the floor of the chicken coop.

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  5. Pistol Pete

    GEORGE WILL: ‘IF YOU STRIKE FIRST-PERSON PRONOUNS FROM OBAMA’S VOCABULARY,HE WOULD FALL SILENT.’
    Sage words from ABC’s token conservative.
    http://dailycaller.com/2012/05/06/george-will-if-you-strike-first-person-pronouns-from-obamas-vocabulary-he-would-fall-silent/

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    • chrissythehyphenated

      We had a friend in high school who used her hands so much when she talked, we got wondering if she could talk without them. So one day, we conspired to find out. She couldn’t.

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      • chrissythehyphenated

        Oh my … what a wonderful little speech by George! I love the part about how falling silent “would be a mercy to us” and “incontinent” speech making! LOLOL

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        • Pistol Pete

          Would wearing a Depends help “incontinent” speechmaking?
          You KNEW I couldn’t let that one go!
          I always said he talks out of his ass.

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      • Pistol Pete

        Granny told me a convincing speaker is one who could describe a spiral staircase without using their hands.

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        • chrissythehyphenated

          Your granny was really something! It’s so nice for us you listened and can share her wisdom and humor with us.

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        • Ting

          Oh, Granny was wise, and I can’t say thank you for a glass of water without using my hands.

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  6. Pistol Pete

    OBAMA CAMPAIGN STAFF LACKS RACIAL DIVERSITY;MAY VIOLATE CIVIL RIGHTS LAW
    Obama: ‘Don’t blame me,I can’t get no black folk to work.’
    http://dailycaller.com/2012/05/06/obama-campaign-office-staff-lacks-racial-diversity-may-violate-civil-rights-law/

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  7. Pistol Pete

    ANDERSON COOPER LETS MOVEON.ORG STOOGE BURY HIMSELF
    This is actually worth watching.
    http://www.therightscoop.com/epic-smack-down-anderson-cooper-exposes-moveon-org-partisan-agenda/

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    • chrissythehyphenated

      That went a lot like every interview with DWS… ranting, repeating, interrupting, ignoring any and all intelligent questions and data.

      It reminds me of a poorly trained salesperson who came to my house once, trying to sell me a water softener, allegedly because it would make my drinking water healthier! I have a very good water filter, so I challenged her to show me her “test.” It turned out to only test for minerals in the water, which my filter does not remove. It takes out chlorine and toxins. I WANT the minerals. They’re GOOD for me.

      I challenged her with my own research, from when I chose the water filter. She had no idea about water quality, only what the company had told her to repeat. I ended up feeling sorry for her. Not sorry enough to buy a water softener though! I got a ClearWave instead.

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  8. Pistol Pete

    ‘ CONSERVATIVES MUST BE LIKE SHARKS THAT SMELL BLOOD IN THE WATER.’
    ‘YOU MUST ATTACK.’
    If Romney were smart enough to pick this man as his VP,he would win in a landslide.(which is why he won’t)

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  9. Pistol Pete

    FRANCOIS HOLLANDE’S GALPAL NICKNAMED ‘THE ROTTWEILER’
    Obama stares at her hungrily.
    Hollande dumped his girlfriend of 30 years and the mother of his 4 kids for this hound six years ago.It reminded me of John F’in Kerry who dumped his heiress wife when Terayza Heinz became a widow and he found out she had more money than his wife had.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2139237/Francois-Hollandes-wife-Valerie-Trierweiler-wants-Frances-new-First-Lady.html

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    • chrissythehyphenated

      The French deserve their politicians. Oui. Je suis préjugés. Je me fiche pas mal.

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      • GP

        I have a lot of French friends because of my former job. I have talked to them til I am blue in the face about what a disaster BHO has been. They are besotted with the man. It is disgusting. Now they will have their own version of a commie running their country.
        I can’t wait to ask them in a year or so:
        “How’s that workin for ya?”
        Chrissy, maybe you can do the interpretation. I took 3 years of French, but can’t remember much!
        The French love their free stuff, and love to cut down America because we are so “unfair” to the poor. One French teacher had the gaul (you know where that word came from) to say it was terrible that the poor blacks in the Chicago public schools did not have it as nice as those in the suburbs. I tried to explain that the state sends more to CPS than any of the rest of the state, while the burbs keep raising local taxes. The good schools are in GOP run areas, the poor schools are run by dems. She did not believe it. She thinks it is because of racist!
        You can’t reason with the French.

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        • Violet

          When I was an exchange student in France, I had to call home for more money…TWICE, because my host family and friends kept ‘sharing’ everything I purchased for myself (C’est la Françe! Nous partageons). Food, drink, cigarettes…they all felt entitled to a portion of whatever I bought. It’s just their mindset; I don’t think they can help it. Their election results came as no surprise to me!

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  10. Pistol Pete

    SNL SCRAPS SKIT ON OBAMA,BASHES FOX NEWS INSTEAD
    If they needed material to spoof the Kenyan,all they need to do is call me.I think I can help them out.
    http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2012/05/209660/

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  11. Pistol Pete

    ELI MANNING DRESSES IN DRAG
    For SNL skit.Glad I have to go to bed early.
    Are you ready for some football,sweetie?
    http://www.breitbart.com/Breitbart-TV?id=5D35745B-FCEC-44A6-9B2C-1EBBEB1DE09B&title=Eli-Manning-Dresses-In-Drag

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  12. Pistol Pete

    MOTLEY CRUE’S NIKKI SIXX HAS SEEN ENOUGH OF OUR CELEBRITY PRESIDENT
    When you lose the coked-out,aging rock star vote you’re in big trouble
    http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Hollywood/2012/05/06/crue-sixx-tweets-obama-economy

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  13. Pistol Pete

    FOR OUR MONTANA FRIENDS
    He touts himself as a ‘different kind of senator’
    If he talks like a conservative and votes like a liberal he’s the same as the rest.

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    • Auntie Lib

      Oh, my! Boy, did they ever parse the words carefully for that one! Notice how he claims that he’s so different because he won’t accept travel from lobbyists??? Funny – accepting travel reimbursement from a lobbyist has been banned by the Senate ethics rules since 2007. Makes me gag.

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  14. Pistol Pete

    MOM CHARGED AFTER LEAVING CHILD IN HOT CAR TO DRINK MARGARITAS
    This pig is so fugly I can’t imagine anybody drinking enough to mate with it.
    http://patdollard.com/2012/05/mom-charged-after-leaving-child-in-hot-car-to-drink-margaritas/

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  15. Pistol Pete

    ‘THE HAIR’ CALLS OUT BITEME OVER USING BIN LADEN TO ATTACK ROMNEY
    Didn’t see that one coming,did ya?
    http://patdollard.com/2012/05/what-is-the-real-unemployment-rate-11-1-percent/

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    • chrissythehyphenated

      Watch Biden’s facial expression at 2:00 and his blink rate throughout. I have a suspicion that when he’s telling the truth, his blinks are normal, but when he’s lying, he blinks really fast. At 4:15, he also refers to Mitt as “President Romney.” ::snort::

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  16. Pistol Pete

    OBAMACARE LEFT OUT OF FIRST AD ABOUT FIRST TERM ACCOMPLISHMENTS
    Does he think we’re going to forget????
    http://townhall.com/tipsheet/katiepavlich/2012/05/07/obamacare_left_out_of_new_obama_ad_about_first_term_accomplishments

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  17. Pistol Pete

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  20. chrissythehyphenated

    Wow … Pete! What a birthday present you have given me 🙂 –
    lug nuts are falling off the Obama media bandwagon right and left! You posted 2 from ABC, 2 from NBC, 1 from CNN, 2 from FOX and 1 from the coked up rocker demo. I. Love. It.!!!!!

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  21. GP

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    Wish we had LIKE buttons.
    Lots of great laughs today form PP and Chrissie.
    LIKE!

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  22. Ting

    Pete, I think your newspaper delivery time could start you on a new career as a joke writer. I wonder how one goes about selling jokes to Leno and people like that. I know it is done because I used to know a guy who made a living that way. I wish I could find a way to get in touch with him and ask him how he did it.

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  23. Auntie Lib

    Happy birthday, Chrissy!!!

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